Need advice.

[NigelW]

I am looking for some advice.

 

The last three months of my life has consisted of me getting a job and moving out of the apartment I was sharing with my sister.

 

Every day I drink coffee. Sometimes 3 cups in the morning before lunch. Physical activity isn't appealing and I would much rather be playing video games which are. I didn't think busing for 1.5 hours to and from work and working 8.5 hours would be so difficult. I can barely find the capacity to do anything else. I've thought of getting a car and forcing myself to exercise, but I just can't seem to gather the interest or the energy.

 

This is a problem because I want to raise my standard of living.

[wdiaz03]

Hi nigel,

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having these issues.

 

It seems to me that you need to work on getting perspective on your future. Without a clear vision where you want to be in the future you cannot justify the sacrifices in the present. For me it seems my "gotta get through shit now" muscle that Stef talks about had been exercised from an early age, so I did not need much convincing when it came to doing "the crap that needs to be done" 

These helped to see those tasks as necessary and not to view them as negative. I was taught the importance of preparing for the future, to have "a high beam" perspective.

 

When that future that you worked for starts catching up to you, you will realize that it was all worth it. When money is not something to be worried about, when your house is paid off, your new car is paid off, when you can go on vacations without worrying if you have enough money. Its a peaceful feeling that allows you to sleep soundly at night. The same thing with your body. when you look years younger, and people complement on how healthy you look. when they come to you for advice on how to be healthy themselves. etc.

 

But to get there it takes work in the present.

 

You might need to do a lot of self knowledge and talk to a therapist to work on this, the good thing is that you realize that you want to change your current habits, that its a start, congratulations for that. Grab unto that little spark and use it the build the fire that will fuel your journey. Best of luck!

[Triumph]

A good start, would maybe be to walk to bus stops further away from home.  Or just get dropped off further away from home than normal and walk the rest of the way.

[Drew.]

Man I'm sorry to hear that Nigel. It seems like you're in a difficult circumstance. You want to improve yourself, but there is no drive, there is no energy. I've been there, and it's really difficult to sort things out.

 

I want to say this with all due sympathy because you neither need criticism nor will it help. But what I see in your post is a lot of "I think, I think, I think." We can get a lot done on willpower alone. Many people live their entire lives using sheer willpower. But it is emotion that drives us. Do you find it difficult to connect with your emotional experience at times?

 

If you're interested, I offer counselling to help people get in touch with their inner emotional world.

[AnCapJavi]

It sounds like to you, right now, playing video games is more pleasurable than exercising.

For now, within yourself there's more pain associated with making the changes than staying the same.

This isn't a solution but it's something that can give you a boost. I got this from Tony Robbins.

 

1. Write down the pain you associate with making the changes (exercising etc.). For example It's hard, I'm tired etc.

2. Write down the pleasure you get now from playing video games or putting it off.

3. Write down the pain or what it'll cost you if you and the pain you'll feel if you don't change: What it'll cost you emotionoally, financially, physically, how bad you'd feel and why.

4. Write down the great pleasure you'l get from taking action: How proud you'll be, how great it will be and how (specifically) it will affect your life in the positive.

 

The point is to associate pleasure with what you are avoiding and pain with what you're currently doing. To tip the scale in favor exercise, getting a car, taking action now.

[PGP]

IDK if it will help, but I heard a nugget of wisdom from a former Olympic athlete once who was advising amateur and budding athletes on motivation. This is especially pertinent on those cold winter mornings. He said to just run for six minutes. That's all. Just do six minutes and see where that leads you. 

[NigelW]

Hi nigel,

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having these issues.

 

It seems to me that you need to work on getting perspective on your future. Without a clear vision where you want to be in the future you cannot justify the sacrifices in the present. For me it seems my "gotta get through shit now" muscle that Stef talks about had been exercised from an early age, so I did not need much convincing when it came to doing "the crap that needs to be done" 

These helped to see those tasks as necessary and not to view them as negative. I was taught the importance of preparing for the future, to have "a high beam" perspective.

 

When that future that you worked for starts catching up to you, you will realize that it was all worth it. When money is not something to be worried about, when your house is paid off, your new car is paid off, when you can go on vacations without worrying if you have enough money. Its a peaceful feeling that allows you to sleep soundly at night. The same thing with your body. when you look years younger, and people complement on how healthy you look. when they come to you for advice on how to be healthy themselves. etc.

 

But to get there it takes work in the present.

 

You might need to do a lot of self knowledge and talk to a therapist to work on this, the good thing is that you realize that you want to change your current habits, that its a start, congratulations for that. Grab unto that little spark and use it the build the fire that will fuel your journey. Best of luck!

 

Thanks Diaz, perhaps I will.

 

 

A good start, would maybe be to walk to bus stops further away from home.  Or just get dropped off further away from home than normal and walk the rest of the way.

 

Has this worked in your experience?

 

 

Man I'm sorry to hear that Nigel. It seems like you're in a difficult circumstance. You want to improve yourself, but there is no drive, there is no energy. I've been there, and it's really difficult to sort things out.

 

I want to say this with all due sympathy because you neither need criticism nor will it help. But what I see in your post is a lot of "I think, I think, I think." We can get a lot done on willpower alone. Many people live their entire lives using sheer willpower. But it is emotion that drives us. Do you find it difficult to connect with your emotional experience at times?

 

If you're interested, I offer counselling to help people get in touch with their inner emotional world.

 

I am interested in challenging myself in that way.

 

It sounds like to you, right now, playing video games is more pleasurable than exercising.

For now, within yourself there's more pain associated with making the changes than staying the same.

This isn't a solution but it's something that can give you a boost. I got this from Tony Robbins.

 

1. Write down the pain you associate with making the changes (exercising etc.). For example It's hard, I'm tired etc.

2. Write down the pleasure you get now from playing video games or putting it off.

3. Write down the pain or what it'll cost you if you and the pain you'll feel if you don't change: What it'll cost you emotionoally, financially, physically, how bad you'd feel and why.

4. Write down the great pleasure you'l get from taking action: How proud you'll be, how great it will be and how (specifically) it will affect your life in the positive.

 

The point is to associate pleasure with what you are avoiding and pain with what you're currently doing. To tip the scale in favor exercise, getting a car, taking action now.

 

I took your advice to some degree. I did a sort of mind mapping which helped me to visually compare alternatives.

 

 

IDK if it will help, but I heard a nugget of wisdom from a former Olympic athlete once who was advising amateur and budding athletes on motivation. This is especially pertinent on those cold winter mornings. He said to just run for six minutes. That's all. Just do six minutes and see where that leads you. 

 

I will try that mindset out!

[Triumph]

 

Has this worked in your experience?

 

Yes and no.If the question is does walking more improve fitness, the answer is Absolutely. 

If the question is, did walking more achieve your fitness goals, the answer is hell no.

 

Currently as I am typing this, the skin around one of my knees is peeling.  Too many knee surgeries, and I have walked on it too much recently.  Once upon a time I was a pretty good distance runner.

 

But I can tell you, when it comes to motivation there is no magic answer.  You have to figure it out yourself.  The best place to start though is with the things that are easiest.  For me, walking was a stop gap exercise.  I only ever did it a few times, because I found it boring, and not demanding enough.  That's where the hell no comes from.  Because I always moved on from walking to more ambitious things like swimming, biking and running (when I could).  That said, walking was a great motivation for me.

 

And if walking seems too easy, get a backpack and add a thirty pounds to it.  Still easy add more.  Even the simplest exercise can be made challenging if you add reps or weight.

[RachelAnn]

I am looking for some advice.

 

The last three months of my life has consisted of me getting a job and moving out of the apartment I was sharing with my sister.

 

Every day I drink coffee. Sometimes 3 cups in the morning before lunch. Physical activity isn't appealing and I would much rather be playing video games which are. I didn't think busing for 1.5 hours to and from work and working 8.5 hours would be so difficult. I can barely find the capacity to do anything else. I've thought of getting a car and forcing myself to exercise, but I just can't seem to gather the interest or the energy.

 

This is a problem because I want to raise my standard of living.

 

Hi Nigel,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your lack of motivation. I have definitely been there before! Something I have learned about motivation in my own life is this: I need momentum in order to feel good and productive about what I am doing - so that initial action towards my goals is the hardest, but I have found that just doing it without having the battle in your head before hand is key. For example, when I wanted to start going back to the gym, without giving myself the option of turning down that idea in my head, I put all of my exercise clothes and running shoes on, got in the car, drove there, got in front of the treadmill, and then I asked myself if I felt like working out that day, since I was already there, I just said sure why not! After a month of doing that, it just came natural to me, and now I rarely have a day where I underestimate my willpower when it comes to exercising, and on the days that I don't feel like going, I don't have feelings of guilt like I used to. Just working on that area alone has given me extra confidence and motivation which has translated into other areas of my life, with daily routines, and with my business.

 

I don't know if that helps. I can't imagine that staying in your current situation is going to relieve any stress, your discomfort will only grow. Exercising is a good place to start, because you'll produce the endorphins that can act as a defense against your inner critic.

[Brentb]

You're not going to live forever. At some point you will die, and your life can be summarized as: worked 42 hours per week**. (or maybe worked 42 hours per week and had nice abs)

 

Explore yourself and the world for what value that you want to provide. Then when you're dealing with problems that you're passionate about and are infinitely larger than how to get your butt off the couch, you'll adjust your health habits because you'll be someone who wants to live.

 

 

**Sure they'll say something nice and flowery at the eulogy, but ultimately your life won't have mattered. It sounds harsh, but when we objectively evaluate the way the vast majority of us live, it is undoubtedly true unless we do the work to take extraordinary actions.

[NigelW]

Yes and no.If the question is does walking more improve fitness, the answer is Absolutely. 

If the question is, did walking more achieve your fitness goals, the answer is hell no.

 

Currently as I am typing this, the skin around one of my knees is peeling.  Too many knee surgeries, and I have walked on it too much recently.  Once upon a time I was a pretty good distance runner.

 

But I can tell you, when it comes to motivation there is no magic answer.  You have to figure it out yourself.  The best place to start though is with the things that are easiest.  For me, walking was a stop gap exercise.  I only ever did it a few times, because I found it boring, and not demanding enough.  That's where the hell no comes from.  Because I always moved on from walking to more ambitious things like swimming, biking and running (when I could).  That said, walking was a great motivation for me.

 

And if walking seems too easy, get a backpack and add a thirty pounds to it.  Still easy add more.  Even the simplest exercise can be made challenging if you add reps or weight.

 

If I must figure it out on my own, why are you describing your experience?

 

 

Hi Nigel,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your lack of motivation. I have definitely been there before! Something I have learned about motivation in my own life is this: I need momentum in order to feel good and productive about what I am doing - so that initial action towards my goals is the hardest, but I have found that just doing it without having the battle in your head before hand is key. For example, when I wanted to start going back to the gym, without giving myself the option of turning down that idea in my head, I put all of my exercise clothes and running shoes on, got in the car, drove there, got in front of the treadmill, and then I asked myself if I felt like working out that day, since I was already there, I just said sure why not! After a month of doing that, it just came natural to me, and now I rarely have a day where I underestimate my willpower when it comes to exercising, and on the days that I don't feel like going, I don't have feelings of guilt like I used to. Just working on that area alone has given me extra confidence and motivation which has translated into other areas of my life, with daily routines, and with my business.

 

I don't know if that helps. I can't imagine that staying in your current situation is going to relieve any stress, your discomfort will only grow. Exercising is a good place to start, because you'll produce the endorphins that can act as a defense against your inner critic.

 

Your experience is helpful.

 

 

You're not going to live forever. At some point you will die, and your life can be summarized as: worked 42 hours per week**. (or maybe worked 42 hours per week and had nice abs)

 

Explore yourself and the world for what value that you want to provide. Then when you're dealing with problems that you're passionate about and are infinitely larger than how to get your butt off the couch, you'll adjust your health habits because you'll be someone who wants to live.

 

 

**Sure they'll say something nice and flowery at the eulogy, but ultimately your life won't have mattered. It sounds harsh, but when we objectively evaluate the way the vast majority of us live, it is undoubtedly true unless we do the work to take extraordinary actions.

 

Maybe I'm a different species? I just don't see the value in being "busy". You can waste a lot of time doing useless stuff and having a steady job is a far cry from where I was 3 years ago.