MMX2010 Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 Naturally, I expect even rookie FDR listeners to know that I mean "your mothers" in the title. I am especially interested in womens' experience with this, because I have a hypothesis of how it "must be done". And only womens' input can help me determine the degree to which my hypothesis is true. Also, my hypothesis is controversial, but it's ONLY a hypothesis. It's not a conclusion, nor a personal attack on either you, or the entire female gender. ----------------------------- I think the best thing Stef teaches us is to hold our mothers accountable. https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/41658-powerful-series-of-posts-excellent-journaling-opportunity/ In therawness letters, (linked above), their author insists that men who don't hold their mothers accountable become White Knights, who are really just latent misogynists. White Knights protect all women because they're secretly protecting their own mothers from truthful criticisms, but misogyny develops when the White Knight internalizes that (a) she chose his father, (b) she constantly chose to remain with him, © she never deeply considered her children's needs when deciding to stay, and (d) she remains blind to (or highly resistant towards) her own responsibility. When parrying her son's emerging misogyny, his mother says, "But I didn't know it would all turn out this badly!" At first, he thinks this is a flat out lie, but when he accepts that it's actually true, he can properly grieve by following the Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance model. (In fact, he recognizes that accusing her of lying is simply part of the Anger stage; Denial is the White Knight stage.) Last night, I reached a state of deep, sorrowful acceptance regarding my own mother's decisions. It sounds like Denial, but she really didn't know (not initially) that my father would be such a horrible match for her and us. And she definitely didn't know (not initially) that my siblings and I would be dreadfully hurt by living under his roof. I'm angry, but accepting, that she suffered a lot of pain to keep our family together. And I'm angry, but accepting, that this largely unsuccessful strategy caused me so much pain that it stunted my adulthood. I also grieved for all children in the past who were raised by "mothers who didn't know, and couldn't have possibly known". I even grieved for the mothers who didn't know the dangerous mechanism by which the whole cycle started: their desire for hope, safety and comfort through their relationships with men. My hypothesis is that every woman in FDR must've experienced deep loathing for herself as a woman, because she had to slowly and painfully realize that a woman's (her mother's) desire for hope, safety, and comfort from her boyfriend/husband is the primary cause of parent-to-child violence. If you're a devoted female FDR-listener, but you do NOT accept this, then you felt stunned and slapped-in-the-face when you read my bold-printed words. To the women, I ask: (1) Did you go through a self-loathing period like I described? (It would have to be self-loathing, in my opinion, because you "had to" recognize that your deepest biological and socially-reinforced desires for love and for children are the primary producers of evil. Eventually this self-loathing went away when you realized that self-acceptance and self-healing has broken the cycle of violence.) (2) If you've never believed that your desire for hope, safety, and comfort is the primary cause of parent-to-child violence, then what emotions did you experience when holding your mother accountable? To the men, I ask: Does my description of White Knight first, misogynist second ring true for you? What, in general, did you feel when you were initially learning to hold women accountable? And what do you feel now when imagining yourself holding women accountable? Thanks for reading this. I look forward to your input.
Psychophant Posted September 5, 2014 Posted September 5, 2014 1. emotional defensiveness (being concerned) 2. emotional defensiveness ( being emotional manipulative, e. g. trying to shame or distracted by becoming the agent for all women, playing things down or denialing thing) 3. hostility ( trying to extort, throwing a womenly tantrum) Ah, so you think that white knights are mysogynists in denial who are idealizing their relationship with their mother, right?. This might be true. I am not a white knight, in fact I am quite the opposite, because I discovered the true nature of the beast, so to speak and my moronic father made excuses and played female misbehaviour down, so that in hindsight he accidantialy created my pass towards anti gynocentrism + antifeminism + voluntarism. I have been fucked over by females a lot of time, so no excuses for mommy there.
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