My Dream of Being an FBI Agent and Freedom Photographer

[MysterionMuffles]

I want to share with you a dream I had the other day that I found really interesting. I've already analyzed it myself and gathered some meaning out of it, but first I would like to see what you guys think. To see if it'll match up with what I thought of it to see if there's any common way to interpret dreams.

 

I start the dream off being an FBI Agent arresting a Photographer who happened to take a picture of something top secret. I assume that he wants to expose this big secret to the world and I don't even know what it is, all I know is that I don't want to let him do it and would much rather give that secret to the beurau so we can keep it to ourselves. We take a train ride together in an empty train cart that's speeding through the city on a rail that loops high above ground at skyline height.

 

The Photographer opens the door and steps off the edge. With the wind blowing through his hair, he takes a look at the far drop that awaits him. He threatens to kill himself so that the secret dies along with him. As I struggle to grapple with him, while trying not to fall off the train myself, we pause during our scrap to gaze at swirling circular lights in the distance. It could have been a UFO, I think, and we lost another chance at him taking a picture that could've helped me with my information collection.

 

I yank him back into the train and tell him how his suicide threat might have put the world in jeoprady.

 

We disembark at a crowded train station and he tries to make a run for it, so I put him in a full nelson hold. He manages to shake out of my grip and runs off to blend into the populated area, but I don't chase him. I just lament at how poorly I handled him and watch him disappear.

 

As I watch him enter an ice cream shop, I at first think that I'm teleporting toward him to resume chasing him, when really, my consciousness transports into the Photographer, and I am now him. As the Photographer, I shake hands with with a couple of people sitting at a table, getting their names and introducing myself, and while I intend to introduce myself to the people standing by the door, someone bursts through it and tells us to evacuate immediately.

 

With the people I me at the ice cream shop, we go to an abandoned, run down school for safety. We know that the law is after us and that any hour now, they're going to spot our location and break into the school to arrest us all--and for what reason, I don't know, it's just a premonition I feel and one that they warn me of constantly. We start boarding up the windows and doors by placing bookshelves and chairs over them, just waiting for the authorities to arrive.

 

We all pause when we hear somebody punching in some numbers in the security pad. My mind race to thinking if the FBI agent I once was found an easy way in to our hide out. Instead, in walks a bunch of stereotypical looking professors with those old man sweaters, beards and goatees, glasses etc. And that's it! The police raid we were awaiting didn't happen. I momentarily go out of character and remember who I REALLY am, as a writer, and think that that was very anti-climactic. Me and my new dream friends simply welcome these professors into our abandoned school and eagerly head to a lecture hall to possiby learn about liberty,

[villagewisdom]

Hey, I'll give it a try. I love dream interpretation. I haven't done it in a while except for my own but here goes.

 

I'm from a different dream interpretation camp than Stef with people in dreams. I think of them as various aspects of the individual having the dream. And I see how they interact with each other as how you are approaching working with your own idea of yourself. My interpretation of dreams is based on the idea that we as human beings are constantly trying to learn and evolve our consciousness and the dreams are giving us information to facilitate that growth.

 

So there's the FBI agent and the photographer taking pictures of secret stuff. So if both of these are aspects of you, then you have one part that is like an authority figure in charge trying to keep the other part quiet. So I would think of that as one aspect of yourself remaining in charge and having control over what aspects of your life are investigated. I would think of the photographer as part of you that notices things that others might not notice. That aspect might perceive things about yourself and others that goes beyond the normal daily noticing of stuff. So the FBI guy wants control of that information.

 

In the symbol language that I use the train would be a group or organization that you are affiliated with. Something with lots of people having a similar direction in life. so it could be a job or it could be this forum -- anything where there is a common purpose or direction for the group. It's interesting that the car that you are in has no one in it and that you are flying high. I would interpret that as you being aware that you have experiences within the group or organization that others do not. You also are "above" the world. I suspect you have a lot of respect for your own knowledge -- your intelligence and ability to think, etc. So this is an important awareness because you definitely have the ability to make good use of the information you are receiving. And I would say the information from both parts -- FBI and photographer are central to your intelligence and continued growth in self awareness.

 

The tussle and possible death of the photographer is interesting because death would indicate to me a change within that aspect of yourself with death being a transition in dreams. When something dies in nature it returns to the earth and supplies nutrients or building blocks for the next creation. And the change would seem to have to do with keeping secrets. You making a decision about how to move forward with new information in your life. I would say that these secrets would be secrets about you, your personality, your understanding of yourself, etc. So considering changing the way that you are approaching your growth in understanding.

 

Then there is an awareness that while you are struggling with trying to control the photographer aspect of yourself, considering whether to change, you are missing opportunities that would help you in your quest for knowledge and self understanding. The lights are like awareness. The UFO would be something about yourself that you have not fully identified. You are aware that there is more to you but you still do not know much about it. The inner struggle between your FBI agent and photographer self is distracting you and detracting from wondrous new discoveries. 

 

You yank the photographer back inside and it's like you are talking to yourself here. You are saying that you need to have this photographer part of you that is seeking information and the FBI investigator who is also looking for data working together. You struggle further and he gets away. This seems to be some indication that you are not exactly sure how to work with this part of yourself. You are trying to control it but it refuses to be controlled and escapes. There is awareness of not handling yourself well when confronting new evidence and the truth it might give. So sometimes the truth slips away.

 

I love the transition to the photographer part of you. That's like empathy for yourself. You can now see how this part of you works. This is the clue to working with the photographer aspect. Or it could be showing what is holding the photographer back from cooperating with you. Evacuating to an old school. Obvious symbol of learning. And the place of learning within you is an old place. It's like an old way of learning. And there is a sense of safety there. That makes sense as we are most comfortable with the familiar.

 

It's like you are holding yourself back from transforming your learning opportunities into something more appropriate for the present day. The authorities that actually arrive are typical professors. I think barricading yourself in and trying to hold on to old ways of doing things is what you are doing in this dream. This is the part of the photographer that would need to change. It seems to me that there are areas of your life where you are still holding on to old ideas that you learned in the past. You fear the change that the ethical and moral part of you is capable of making. You may be relying on old information and just repeating that old information. I get that from you going to the lecture hall to possibly learn about liberty. Of course it could go the other way as well where you are learning new information to help you to transition to the next step. 

 

So that's my story of your dream. What do you think? I need more practice at this and I appreciate you giving me the opportunity. 

[MysterionMuffles]

Whoa you may have uncovered deeper things than I did. The FBI Agent to Photographer relationship I just viewed as anti-thesis. With my IFS understanding, I always refuse letting parts that I deem negative to work with the other ones I admire. I prefer to discard them. So the idea that the FBI agent working together with the Photographer to gather information and feel something from it seemed foreign to me til I read your post.

 

Hm...it does seem like as an FBI agent, the one with all the intelligence does in a way hold hostage the Photographer, in a way that the experiencer of our experiences is seperate from the part of us that interprets those experiences. I do like the UFO spotting could be something neither of us are aware of yet, but might be helpful in my growth. 

 

I also didn't think it was significant that the train rails were high or it could be a metaphor for anything, but yes I do hold my intelligence to a high esteem.

 

And yes I do hold myself back in some ways from transformation, I didn't even consider that the barricade building and the old school being a metaphor for doing things the old way but also residing in an eternal place of learning. In my original interpretation (and obviously we may both be right there's no definite answers, only closer to accurate interpretations when it comes to analyzing dreams), I viewed the old school as my desire to learn being tarnished by years of school. The barricades I didn't even consider.

 

I'll share my full self analysis later to see if someone else can crack some more, but I really appreciate your take. It has opened my eyes to other details I didn't care to think about. Thanks to you, I will consider the notion of my FBI agent and Photographer learning how to work together, and how that could be possible if I did away with old ways of doing things or at least exploring them to understand why they happen the way they do.

[villagewisdom]

I look forward to seeing your full analysis on this. Since I don't know you at all I went with the symbolism I saw without regard to individual personality. And of course it's coming through my filter and will never be completely accurate. But I must say that the feedback on a few things that you verified as accurate is uplifting. I used to be pretty good at working with people and their dreams. Perhaps I'll pick it up again and see where it goes. 

 

Again, looking forward to your interp and thanks for sharing. 

[MysterionMuffles]

The way I interpet it was this:

 

The FBI agent is trying to censor the Photographer for knowing too much and having a lot to share with the world in terms of philosophy and self-knowledge. The Photographer threatening to kill himself so that the secret dies with him is a metaphor for the regret I used to have for taking the Red Pill. Life and relationships became harder to take once I understood the reality of it all, and the Photographer wanted to die with it so the FBI Agent can simply just collecting data for the beuraeu instead of sharing it with the world the way the Photographer wants to.

 

When we had that altercation at the door, the fact that my self sensor and my free expression couldn't get along, we missed an opportunity to gather evidence of SOME kind. As you pointed out, it might be something I've yet to discover about myself, but at the time I don't know if it's about me or the world, just that it was vital evidence that went uncollected because the Photographer wanted to die for the sake of freedom.

 

At the station, when the FBI Agent held the Photographer in a full nelson, it was his last attempt to keep him contained, but the Photographer looked eager to join the huge crowd of people. As the FBI agent, I was more concerned with my efficacy in holding a hostage rather than actually keeping a hostage, so I just watched him go blend into the crowd. I had the desire to chase after him, as far as he's gotten, but instead of running toward him, my mind raced toward him and BECAME him.

 

I saw that as becoming my free self as I was comfortably greeting people and introducing myself to other freedom fighters. I don't know if this rendesvouz was pre-planned or a chance encounter in the dream, but as the Photographer I took solace in their company. I didn't get to introduce myself clearly to a few people because the FBI Agent gathered more people to hunt me down. I would equate that to still not having met as many other PHILOSOPHERS (oh the word similarities) in my personal life, and the FBI Agent gathering more agents as a metaphor for the people who held me back from being my true self, out to get me and my new comrades.

 

Escaping to the abandoned school I think was a metaphor for how my mind, along with my comrades', were tarnished through the public school system, but wanted to build a place of education within it anyway, see if we can restore it and learn something vital instead. It's the same place in our minds that wanted to learn, but it has been abandoned by the old teachers. We had this collective fear of cops coming to get us and I think that has much to do with the anxiety I felt, even before finding FDR, when I learned the truth about society. I always knew the school system and law system were BS since I was 7 because I skipped a lot of school back then, enough to the point that the school would call a police officer to escort me out of my bedroom. That may be a true to life story for another day, but keeping on with the dream...

 

We boarded up this place in all the obvious spots, the windows and various doors as a way to protect ourselves. I would see that as defenses from a corrupt world so that it doesn't poke into this school we were planning to rebuild and learn in, we wanted our education to be untarnished by the state. The anti-climactic ending was that a bunch of professors simply allowed themselves into the school and we welcomed them because we were willing to learn. I didn't see any specific figures, but I think they represented all the authors I learned from during my self help book digestion, as well with Stefan himself as I discovered FDR. Allowing these teachers in and eagerly awaiting a lecture was representative of my eagerness to learn again because in my adult life, I CHOSE my teachers instead of having them inflicted on me.

[villagewisdom]

That's some really good insight. Do you have plans for how to use the information or is it more of a gauge or status report on your progress? 

[MysterionMuffles]

Yes, from both of our analysies and what somebody said in the chatroom--I've come to the conclusion that I've held my self hostage. Even worse when I started getting into self knowledge. I would order myself around and get frustrated when I wasn't expressing or sharing my gift. I saw myself as a prisoner to my own self instead of an investment to be gentle and understanding with. I've always known it intellectually that I'm my own worst critic or even enemy, but this dream has been very indicative of how I've stumped my own growth with this paradigm. And has also connected for me emotionally that all my life, this FBI Agent and Photographer paradigm has been a constant conflict for me. 

 

The Photographer experiences and captures moments, but the FBI Agent wants to analyze and rationalize, and although I know it's worth while to do that, there have been times where I've done it too much. To escape the captivity of the FBI Agent has meant giving my self free reign to just enjoy life and take it in instead of worrying about a bunch of cops and FBI agents to burst into my abandoned school. It's a safe place welcome to teachers of my choosing. 

 

I'm done with self attacking. I want the FBI Agent and Photographer to work together rather than enemies. In their altercation by the door, "we" missed the IN YOUR FACE UFO SIGHTING (ie the nature of our relationship) and continued to attack each other for it. If they were just working together and the Photographer wasn't so obssessed with his ideals as to kill himself, and become just as selfish as the FBI Agent by not wanting to share the pictures--then they would both have the opportunity to learn this lesson of self sabotage and self hostage, and probably do some good with it.

 

I've been thinking a lot about regret like I have in these two threads (I'll link the Gold one to you in private): 

 

https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/41532-real-apologies-and-regrets/

 

But now I know my regret isn't just about my romantic shortcomings, but in life in general simply because this FBI/Photographer dichotomy has been a detrement to my growth as a person and enjoyment with life.