MeGrownMind Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I can't do it anymore on my own. I keep trying to quit my dependence on Internet and gaming, and every day, or, if I'm lucky, every week, I go through the cyclical motions of rock bottom --> picking up the pieces --> then throwing it all away again. There's this quote from a book that Stef is fond of, saying it takes about 10,000 practice hours to master anything of value. Well, I've done the calculations, and I've spent 65,700 hours of the most important years of my life mastering a skill than can only be described as a bad habit. Needless to say, I don't think I'm in the same zip code as Carnegie Hall. A brief history: I began with the Super Nintendo around the age of six or seven. Prior to that I was an avid reader, consuming Goosebumps and various young adult literature by the stack-fulls, but it was with the SNES that I got a taste for completely immersive escapism. By all measures of functionality, I was normal during the five to six year period preceding puberty. Then Catholic middle school happened, and puberty and religious guilt winged me like birdshot. I flew home everyday after school to the happy oblivion of computer and video games. It was here that the impulsive habit began, and it only grew more powerful with time: Through high school, then college, and now ... unemployed dropout living with my parents. I am stunned at the expanse of time wasted. My life is a desert. I've spent my life pretending to be strong, pretending I was recovering, all the white sinking further. I'm so past rock bottom that there's no other alternative than admitting I need help. Rehab is something that I'm interested in, but I'm wondering if the structured, disciplined environment is something the philosophical community of Freedomain Radio would endorse. Does anybody have any personal experiences relating to anything I've said here that they want to share? 2
Lars Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I can relate with everything you've said, yeah, the repetitive magnetism of regretful time-wasters provoked by anxiety. Dr. Warren Farrell briefly addressed gaming addiction in boys here, I found it interesting, a bit scary too. Just remember that every time you pick up a controller instead of doing something productive toward your goals it's further ensuring that you will make the same decision in the future.Therapy is usually the best thing we can do for ourselves when we're psychologically stuck in the dregs of history, especially if still surrounded by people who nurtured the behavior in the first place.I suggest you take active measures to stifle the temptation of gaming like uninstalling everything, getting other people to hide necessary hardware, etc. That's something to consider (if you haven't already) before looking at more drastic rehabilitation options.Hopefully your sleeping habits aren't as bad as mine, I'm still working on fixing that. The late-night glow of a computer monitor actually screws with our internal clock. 2
DaVinci Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 My first question is what do you think you should be doing instead of video games? 1
Drew. Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I tried something similar to what you're trying to do. I could find success in the short-term, but it the desire would pile up and pile up and eventually I would return to those happens and binge to make up for lost time. Personally, I don't think that one can find much success by focusing on changing these habits. I say that because the more that I've focused on my own wounds, my own troubles, my own anxiety, my own trauma, the desire to do these things have dropped. The more that I've healed, the more that I've reintegrated aspects of myself, the less that I want to do these things, and the more okay it is when I play video games. I don't mean to chastise or criticise what you're doing--I did it too--but to say, "I'm going to give up video games," is really authoritarian. Parents, Religious figures, Teachers, etc. all make these demands on us when we're children, and they completely ignore what we wanted to do. I found in myself that I had these childlike aspects of really wanted to play these video games, but more importantly they wanted to be loved and be heard. When you tell yourself, "I'm going to give up video games," you're telling a child--because we all have parts frozen in time due to trama--to stop doing what it wants to do. Try to listen and explore what the kid in you wants to really do.All this said, I don't think rehab would be a healthy environment to heal. Rehab focuses so much on the symptoms of things, and not the root causes. Rehab dogma--at least I think--so focuses on rejecting aspects of ourselves--these bad habits--and most of these protective habits are created from rejection in the first place. I've had the most success following a therapeutic process, and if you're interested I would like to offer my services to you. 6
Wuzzums Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Speaking from experience, you can't kick a habit by willpower alone but you can replace it with another habit. I recommend The Power of Habit, a book that talks about this extensively. In short, the people that achieve a lot in life are people with productive habits. For instance, you have a habit of playing videogames. You go about your day and there's this nagging sensation that makes you play some games to you get your fix so to say. Even if you spend a whole day doing productive things without playing a single game, the sensation is still there. It feels like there's something you have to do so your day is complete and it only grows stronger if you ignore it. Arnold Schwarzenegger had the same feeling regarding bodybuilding I imagine. Self knowledge is useful because it gives you a hint on what the new replacement habit should be. Are you playing videogames for the skill of it? Maybe a habit of playing a musical instrument might give you the same satisfaction. Are you playing videogames for the escapism? Maybe reading or writing will be as efficient. Just think of smokers. Nicotine isn't an addictive substance per se and there are numerous ways to get the substance inside your body without much if any risks. Yet all smokers I've known can't kick the habit of smoking. Nicotine patches or electric cigarettes don't help them. They say it's just not the same as puffing. Thus they're not addicted to the nicotine, they're addicted to sucking smoke from a burning pole. Or they're addicted to holding something in their mouths, which is why some smokers take up eating lollipops. Or I've known this decades long smoker that kicked the habit over night by replacing it with drinking Schweppes Bitter Lemon specifically. Repetition is key in gaining a new habit. Force yourself to do the chosen action each day for about a month or so. You'll notice you no longer have to force yourself to do said action, you'll need to do said action. 2
Phuein Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Personally, the more I found other things to do, or try and experience, the less gaming mattered. I've never been a "real" gamer, but I've had my periods, and I have the habit. I don't think gaming is such a bad habit, when it's a small part of a full and joyful weekly routine of many occupations. It was asked above, and I echo it... What other things do you want to be doing? Dreams? Goals? Passions? Regular hobbies? 1
SamtheSinger Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I'm an alcoholic with ten years of not drinking under my belt, and while I get that we have different addictions, I think they're pretty similar in some ways.When I quit I got suicidal. It was awful and I just wanted to die. I don't honestly think that it was from withdrawals, sure there were physical symptoms that were awful, but after a few weeks those went away. What hurt was having nowhere to hide from the emotions of my past. I got into therapy and found ways to handle what was going on inside of me, and that pain finally started to ease.As far as how I handled not drinking, I had be honest with myself that "This is something I cannot control". I had to be honest with myself about the fact that I could not have just 1 drink. 1 always lead to 2, and so on. So I couldn't keep alcohol at home, I had be honest with friends when I really wanted to drink and ask for extra support, and I still know that if I have a drink today, I'll start again.I feel that I was only successful because I addressed both fronts. And in your case I think the same will help.You have to address the root cause, and my assumption is that you don't have the knowledge do that on your own. So find a therapist.Get rid of your computer. Get a cheap laptop that won't handle gaming if you want to keep access to the web. But my guess is that if you have a gaming addiction, you likely have a kick ass computer, and probably love it. My guess is that the thought of getting rid of it probably causes you great anxiety, and your addiction is already justifying why you should keep it.Every smoker who tries to quit, but keeps a "just in case" cigarette around will smoke it.Every alcoholic who tries to quit, but keeps beer in the fridge will drink it.Until you recognize the level to which your addiction influences your behavior, you'll be powerless in the face of it. I just wanted to add one more thing. I remember struggling to go to therapy, and feeling like I was broken or damaged in a way that made me bad. Like I was too weak to handle it on my own, and assuming that "Normal People" didn't need it. Then a friend asked me "If I gave you a bunch of wood and nails, and I asked you to build a deck, would you feel weak or insufficient because you had to use a hammer? Would it bother you that you couldn't just beat the nails into the wood, or break the boards with your bare hands?" Of course my answer was no, and I remember that still today. Those that are willing to use tools are more successful, they end up stronger and more capable because of it. Therapy is a tool. Just in case you have any thoughts about seeking therapy like I did 5
MeGrownMind Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 Therapy is usually the best thing we can do for ourselves when we're psychologically stuck in the dregs of history, especially if still surrounded by people who nurtured the behavior in the first place. I suggest you take active measures to stifle the temptation of gaming like uninstalling everything, getting other people to hide necessary hardware, etc. That's something to consider (if you haven't already) before looking at more drastic rehabilitation options. Thank you, this is good advice. It's the practical steps like the ones you mentioned that always provoke the most pain and anxiety. But I am seeing a therapist again, started just this Wednesday, and it was the first time I opened up to another human being in a long time. I think this thread of mine is a direct result of that session. I submitted myself, warts and all, to another human being; to include someone in my pain was such a humbling experience. My first question is what do you think you should be doing instead of video games? I would like to go out more and recover my social skills, and move past this debilitating social anxiety that keeps me shut indoors. This requires getting off the computer, going outside, and talking to people, which is very scary for me. I tried something similar to what you're trying to do. I could find success in the short-term, but it the desire would pile up and pile up and eventually I would return to those happens and binge to make up for lost time. Personally, I don't think that one can find much success by focusing on changing these habits. I say that because the more that I've focused on my own wounds, my own troubles, my own anxiety, my own trauma, the desire to do these things have dropped. The more that I've healed, the more that I've reintegrated aspects of myself, the less that I want to do these things, and the more okay it is when I play video games. I don't mean to chastise or criticise what you're doing--I did it too--but to say, "I'm going to give up video games," is really authoritarian. Parents, Religious figures, Teachers, etc. all make these demands on us when we're children, and they completely ignore what we wanted to do. I found in myself that I had these childlike aspects of really wanted to play these video games, but more importantly they wanted to be loved and be heard. When you tell yourself, "I'm going to give up video games," you're telling a child--because we all have parts frozen in time due to trama--to stop doing what it wants to do. Try to listen and explore what the kid in you wants to really do. All this said, I don't think rehab would be a healthy environment to heal. Rehab focuses so much on the symptoms of things, and not the root causes. Rehab dogma--at least I think--so focuses on rejecting aspects of ourselves--these bad habits--and most of these protective habits are created from rejection in the first place. I've had the most success following a therapeutic process, and if you're interested I would like to offer my services to you. I think you're right. It basically turns my desires against one another, like two phalanxes of spearman each taking turns poking at the other. It's tiring and it stirs up a lot of tension, which only makes me want to run to my computer even faster. I'm really surprised at how much I'm learning about myself by talking to you guys. I've read a lot of threads similar to this one, and read similar advice, and they only struck me intellectually. The emotional impact is only hitting home now that I'm involving myself personally. Writing it out and sharing is a completely different experience than simply reading from a distance. Thank you for sharing, Drew :]
Drew. Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Cool! I'm glad that you're learning a lout about yourself. I wish you the best in your future journeys inward.
MeGrownMind Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 Speaking from experience, you can't kick a habit by willpower alone but you can replace it with another habit. I recommend The Power of Habit, a book that talks about this extensively. In short, the people that achieve a lot in life are people with productive habits. For instance, you have a habit of playing videogames. You go about your day and there's this nagging sensation that makes you play some games to you get your fix so to say. Even if you spend a whole day doing productive things without playing a single game, the sensation is still there. It feels like there's something you have to do so your day is complete and it only grows stronger if you ignore it. Arnold Schwarzenegger had the same feeling regarding bodybuilding I imagine. Self knowledge is useful because it gives you a hint on what the new replacement habit should be. Are you playing videogames for the skill of it? Maybe a habit of playing a musical instrument might give you the same satisfaction. Are you playing videogames for the escapism? Maybe reading or writing will be as efficient. Just think of smokers. Nicotine isn't an addictive substance per se and there are numerous ways to get the substance inside your body without much if any risks. Yet all smokers I've known can't kick the habit of smoking. Nicotine patches or electric cigarettes don't help them. They say it's just not the same as puffing. Thus they're not addicted to the nicotine, they're addicted to sucking smoke from a burning pole. Or they're addicted to holding something in their mouths, which is why some smokers take up eating lollipops. Or I've known this decades long smoker that kicked the habit over night by replacing it with drinking Schweppes Bitter Lemon specifically. Repetition is key in gaining a new habit. Force yourself to do the chosen action each day for about a month or so. You'll notice you no longer have to force yourself to do said action, you'll need to do said action. That is about as apt a description of "the itch" that I've heard. That is exactly what it feels like. Even if I have a good, productive day, and I'm feeling all those happy-go-lucky positive feelings, there will come a moment in the day when the desire for the computer enters my mind and will not leave until it is satisfied. It's like a rain cloud that threatens to ruin everything. Immediately I run from it, but it just follows me like in a cartoon, growing and growing into a storm cloud, until everything about the good day is gone, and it's got me. It's those kind of experiences that have disheartened me the most. Left me in despair and seeing no road out other than rehab. Since I started talking to you guys though, a lot of thoughts, emotions, memories have been coming up, and these are things that make me feel human. Addiction has really sapped away my sense of identity, and as a result my humanity. I feel like a cold dead body most days. Talking about it has really warmed me up. Personally, the more I found other things to do, or try and experience, the less gaming mattered. I've never been a "real" gamer, but I've had my periods, and I have the habit. I don't think gaming is such a bad habit, when it's a small part of a full and joyful weekly routine of many occupations. It was asked above, and I echo it... What other things do you want to be doing? Dreams? Goals? Passions? Regular hobbies? Yeah, I remember Stef saying that video games are really useful at times. Like say your thoughts are confused because you have so much on your mind. An hour or two of video games is a good way to refocusing your attention. The slate of your mind is cleared out, so that when you finally return to your thoughts it will be with a clearer view. I'm an alcoholic with ten years of not drinking under my belt, and while I get that we have different addictions, I think they're pretty similar in some ways. When I quit I got suicidal. It was awful and I just wanted to die. I don't honestly think that it was from withdrawals, sure there were physical symptoms that were awful, but after a few weeks those went away. What hurt was having nowhere to hide from the emotions of my past. I got into therapy and found ways to handle what was going on inside of me, and that pain finally started to ease. As far as how I handled not drinking, I had be honest with myself that "This is something I cannot control". I had to be honest with myself about the fact that I could not have just 1 drink. 1 always lead to 2, and so on. So I couldn't keep alcohol at home, I had be honest with friends when I really wanted to drink and ask for extra support, and I still know that if I have a drink today, I'll start again. I feel that I was only successful because I addressed both fronts. And in your case I think the same will help. You have to address the root cause, and my assumption is that you don't have the knowledge do that on your own. So find a therapist. Get rid of your computer. Get a cheap laptop that won't handle gaming if you want to keep access to the web. But my guess is that if you have a gaming addiction, you likely have a kick ass computer, and probably love it. My guess is that the thought of getting rid of it probably causes you great anxiety, and your addiction is already justifying why you should keep it. Every smoker who tries to quit, but keeps a "just in case" cigarette around will smoke it. Every alcoholic who tries to quit, but keeps beer in the fridge will drink it. Until you recognize the level to which your addiction influences your behavior, you'll be powerless in the face of it. I just wanted to add one more thing. I remember struggling to go to therapy, and feeling like I was broken or damaged in a way that made me bad. Like I was too weak to handle it on my own, and assuming that "Normal People" didn't need it. Then a friend asked me "If I gave you a bunch of wood and nails, and I asked you to build a deck, would you feel weak or insufficient because you had to use a hammer? Would it bother you that you couldn't just beat the nails into the wood, or break the boards with your bare hands?" Of course my answer was no, and I remember that still today. Those that are willing to use tools are more successful, they end up stronger and more capable because of it. Therapy is a tool. Just in case you have any thoughts about seeking therapy like I did That was a pretty incredible read. Thanks for sharing.
MysterionMuffles Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I'm in the same boat as you. It's been a week since my Xboxlive subscription expired. I took a few months away from it earlier in the year then really got back into Soul Calibur V. I met a lot of interesting people this year who were willing to open up about their lives to me, their childhoods, views on politics and religion. I miss the hours I could spend just pulling off combos and close wins when I only have a sliver of health left. I sent a message to all my friends telling them that the energy I could be using to improve my skills at the game needs to be transferred into my creative pursuits. A key thing in getting over gaming addiction is finding other more productive activities that can compete with it. One time I really got into a book called Before I Go to Sleep by SJ Watson and for 3 days I would just rather read it than play games because it was so endearing. Anyways I don't think I have much to offer just yet, but I will keep an eye on this thread as I find it very valuable to talk about. I be scratching my neck like a fiend right now not being able to play SCV online to pass my free time. Ideally I want to focus more on reading and writing so it's a tough transition for me to put more time in those things than the game.
MysterionMuffles Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I tried something similar to what you're trying to do. I could find success in the short-term, but it the desire would pile up and pile up and eventually I would return to those happens and binge to make up for lost time. Personally, I don't think that one can find much success by focusing on changing these habits. I say that because the more that I've focused on my own wounds, my own troubles, my own anxiety, my own trauma, the desire to do these things have dropped. The more that I've healed, the more that I've reintegrated aspects of myself, the less that I want to do these things, and the more okay it is when I play video games. I don't mean to chastise or criticise what you're doing--I did it too--but to say, "I'm going to give up video games," is really authoritarian. Parents, Religious figures, Teachers, etc. all make these demands on us when we're children, and they completely ignore what we wanted to do. I found in myself that I had these childlike aspects of really wanted to play these video games, but more importantly they wanted to be loved and be heard. When you tell yourself, "I'm going to give up video games," you're telling a child--because we all have parts frozen in time due to trama--to stop doing what it wants to do. Try to listen and explore what the kid in you wants to really do.All this said, I don't think rehab would be a healthy environment to heal. Rehab focuses so much on the symptoms of things, and not the root causes. Rehab dogma--at least I think--so focuses on rejecting aspects of ourselves--these bad habits--and most of these protective habits are created from rejection in the first place. I've had the most success following a therapeutic process, and if you're interested I would like to offer my services to you. I think that could be a factor too...when I was a kid I had no friends and no bond with my family so video games were my only escape. I didn't really enjoy reading til later but yeah...I did feel loved or at least acknowledged talking to the kind of people I've had the fortune of meeting this year over Xboxlive. Ah man....you're right about how it's authoritarian to just quit as if it's such a bad thing. Does remind me of what a friend said in response to my M2AF that things are all good in moderation. So I dunno. You gotta find that fine line between addictive gaming vs playing for fun when all productive things are said and done. Your post made me cry when you talked about listening to that time frozen kid...I will do that. The Younger, are a your writer? You seem to have a interesting command of language and use of turn of phrases. I wonder if creative writing could be a productive replacement hobby you can take up.
Phuein Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Just to clarify... I don't have an alcohol addiction. At all. I'm not a huge fan of booze. However, some evenings I like to drink a shot of brandy, or whichever, to get in the mood. So, I can allow myself this behavior, unlike people who get "too excited" about drinks. It's an important distinction, to 'know thyself', and know your faults and weaknesses, and plan accordingly.
Drew. Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I think that could be a factor too...when I was a kid I had no friends and no bond with my family so video games were my only escape. I didn't really enjoy reading til later but yeah...I did feel loved or at least acknowledged talking to the kind of people I've had the fortune of meeting this year over Xboxlive. Ah man....you're right about how it's authoritarian to just quit as if it's such a bad thing. Does remind me of what a friend said in response to my M2AF that things are all good in moderation. So I dunno. You gotta find that fine line between addictive gaming vs playing for fun when all productive things are said and done. Your post made me cry when you talked about listening to that time frozen kid...I will do that. Haha, great! Honor that sadness man.
Snafui Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 The danger of replacing a bad habit with something that would be a good habit is that you could reinforce how enjoyable the bad habit was. Not familiar with the book mentioned by Wuzzums, but I do know this happens--does the book cover that phenomenon? I play video games when I have something to listen to, or watch, but as soon as I have nothing I get bored with the game. Why? Because information is the goal, games are just there to keep my hands busy. While reading I will use various hand exercisers, or sometimes sunflower seeds. I'm a kinesthetic learner, so giving my hands something to do while I'm listening actually helps. Your addiction could also be tied to that need; your hands in motion achieving digital goals keeps you enthralled, so try another tactile hobby?
MysterionMuffles Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 I play video games when I have something to listen to, or watch, but as soon as I have nothing I get bored with the game. Why? Because information is the goal, games are just there to keep my hands busy. While reading I will use various hand exercisers, or sometimes sunflower seeds. I'm a kinesthetic learner, so giving my hands something to do while I'm listening actually helps. Lol this is one of the reasons why I play. To stay awake during podcasts, mainly FDR ones. I know if I just lay down and listen, I will doze off because I need visual and mechanical stimuli to keep me awake. I used to play games on my iTouch (it's really a hand me down iPhone without the phone working) but it's gotten too laggy to run more than the podcast player at the same time. To the authoritarian inside of me's lament, I renewed my Xboxlive subscription for one more month yesterday. I know online gaming for me is a very easy distraction that can keep me up at night, and something that can easily distract me from creative projects and productive activities--but the next 30 days I'm gonna simutaneously give my inner child free reign to play when he feels like it, and also challenge my self as a whole to know when enough is enough for one day. First day wasn't so bad. I still got to edit my book, help set up for a party, and socialize. It's obviously not as bad as it seems, but may feel like it. If I can over any help in this thread, I would say, don't try to find a habit to replace it with, rather just find another habit to develop for its own sake. Imagine the habit center of your brain as a cup of stale water, that water being the video game habit. As you pour new water into it, little by little, it will displace the stale water inside, eventually pushing it out by making the cup over flow. Some people work like they can easily empty the cup and refill it, while others, and I think most of us, require the addition of new habits to develop that naturally replace the old ones. Think about. As you grew up to the age you're at now, there have been so many choices you've made that weren't conscious, but just the prospect of growing up naturally called for you to develop new habits and drop old ones. For me, that was playing with action figures. I didn't stop playing with them until I was 11. Maybe a little bit for 12 and 13, but for the most part I stopped playing with them at 11 for a few reasons: Video games started to become more sophisticated I moved to a new house and started going to a new school, thus making more friends than I ever had in my life up until that point Homework load got bigger and I actually decided to start caring (until high school started) I briefly took an interest in drawing fantasy characters and writing comic books featuring them I got a computer and discovered the wonderful world of the internet and instant messaging While most of these aren't particularly super healthy habits--save for making new friends and going out with them more--they did become fresh new experiences I could embrace that eventually replaced my action figure playing. So another strategy I would suggest is let yourself keep playing if that part of you can't stop thinking about it, but at the same time find new habits not for the prospect of replacing the online gaming, rather develop them for their own sake and see if they naturally replace online gaming. Hope this helps. Tell me what you think, guys!
SamtheSinger Posted September 18, 2014 Posted September 18, 2014 I need to apologize. I lied to you in my first comment on your post when I said "I'm an alcoholic with ten years of not drinking under my belt" The truth is that I got drunk about 3 months ago. 2 months before my 10 year anniversary. I just told my wife about it the other night. It sucked so hard to have all my friends and family congratulating me on ten years when I knew it was a lie. I feel like shit about it. I don't even really know why I did it, sure I could say things like "self sabotage" or what have you, but at the end of the day I don't know yet why I did it. It sucks to feel like I have to start all over, and lately I've had stronger urges to drink than I have had in years. I'm sorry I spewed out a bunch of flowery bullshit trying to look like I had a handle on it, and was somehow accomplished. I guess the only things I really know are that addiction sucks, it catches you when you're off guard, and I don't know how to successfully manage it. I think the mistake I made was thinking I had it beat. Feeling like I was no longer in danger of relapsing, and my willingness to hide something like that should have been a red flag to me, but I chose to ignore it. That was a mistake too. I'm reaching out to the people around me, and I'm going to keep looking for more support. I don't honestly know what to tell you since I haven't really been successful myself, but I hope that maybe hearing that plenty of us have just as much trouble keeping it together will let you know that you're not alone in your struggle. Again, I'm so sorry that I lied to you. 4
MysterionMuffles Posted September 18, 2014 Posted September 18, 2014 thank you for your openness and honest, Sam. I hope you're not too hard on yourself for having gotten drunk recently despite of the near 10 year streak. It doesn't detract from what you've put forth earlier in the thread.
SamtheSinger Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Thanks RJ, it sucks but I'm coming to terms with it. It's getting easier to tell people, but I'm really struggling with feelings of failure.
Phuein Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Sam, good on you for being honest and making amends. Keep honesty with yourself and loved ones, and the alcohol, and any bad habit, won't get the better of you.
MysterionMuffles Posted October 31, 2014 Posted October 31, 2014 Just a little update on me. I've let my Xboxlive subscription expire in the first half of this month. Correlation isn't causation, I get that, but personally for me, I've been able to get a job that I start next week I could have sworn that the boredom I had the night I went out to apply to places, if I had my subscription, I would've just played all night because it's so much easier to pick up the controller and enter a lobby to play a "couple of rounds" that eventually turns into an all nighter. Instead of course, I seeked new interactions that would provide me new possibilities and really quickly, I got an interview a week after applying, got called back the next day, and bam! Got the job Without games, I've been having more Skype calls with FDR members, going out with friends, more reading and writing done. I look forward to getting back into gaming, but not after some hard work and making money, as well as completing the 2nd draft of my novel. The time I would be spending towards video games (which were almost countless on some days) is the time I spend now connecting with people and getting more important things done that improve my human capital. I mean I was already having philosophical conversations with people during the games, but it was hit or miss whether or not they were in that mood or the right people were online. So why not intentionally have them with those who pursue philosophy and sel knowledge on purpose? 2
Bipedal Primate Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 I recommend checking out some of Kyle Grows podcasts. He is also a therapist. Your post reminded me of one of his podcasts where he talks about his history/relationship with gaming. I have found his podcasts incredibly insightful. http://www.kylegrows.com/
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