Yeravos Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 There is something I'd like to make the people of FDR aware of... A few months ago, I made contact with a person from FDR through a skype group conversation I am currently hosting, the Philosophy Europe Call. He lives in Sweden, like me. His name is Henrik Eriksson. We started talking to eachother on a daily basis through skype. He was in a very emotionally rough position, so I thought that I'd try to help him out a bit by listening to him and talking to him. From the first time I came into contact with him though, and all our conversations ever since, there was something ''off'' for me in the interaction. I felt uncomfortable. But instead of bringing this up, I pretended like it wasn't there, that it was some fault on my end. However, one night when we talked, I told him that I felt uncomfortable talking to him. I told him that I had been in the wrong fro not bringing it up sooner, that I hadn't been honest with him. It went really bad from here on. Henrik was very upset with this, asking me why I felt uncomfortable. I told him I didn't know why, but he wouldn't settle with that, asking me ''What do you mean you don't know?'' in a very aggressive tone. The next day, I hosted the weekly Philosophy Europe Call. Henrik called in. There were 3 of us in the call at that time. At first he pretended like everything was alright, he came into the call laughing. However, he was very passive-aggressive with the third caller, asking him when he was going to start ignoring Henrik (apperantly Henrik has been ignored by other FDR users before). Also, Henrik started to question caller number 3 about his exercise program, telling him that it was stupid. It was a very, very tense conversation. A few days later, he started to write to me on Facebook, telling me I had no principles, and that I should leave FDR, that he was much ''higher up'' than me, whatever that means. I asked him a few times if we could try to sort things out, but he said he didn't want to have anything to do with me, even though he kept writing to me on Facebook telling me how horrible I was. Then came the call that was the final straw that broke the camel's back for me. It was 10 minutes before I was going to host the Philosophy Europe Call. Henrik called me on skype. I asked what he wanted to talk about (I was quite mad at him at this point because of all the things he had written to me on Facebook). Henrik told me he didn't want to talk about anything with me, yet he still wanted for us to be on that call! I told him I was hanging up on him to host the Philosophy Europe Call, and so I did. He joined that call, and that third caller I mentioned before was in this call aswell, so it was me, Henrik and number 3. Henrik came into the call, pretending once again that everything was all good and joyous, even though he 10 minutes before had said he was very upset and mad. I told him that I didn't want to brush past this tension that was between him and I. But he simply said ''I don't want to talk with you''. I then asked him why he was in the call then. ''I want to talk!'' he than said.Number 3, after telling Henrik that he was annoyed with him saying he wanted to talk, and at the same time he didn't want to talk, dropped from the call after approximatly 10 minutes. I then decided that I couldn't let this shitty interaction with Henrik ruin the call experience for the rest of the coming callers, since there was no reasoning with him. So, I blocked him on skype and on Facebook. However, a week ago, he started calling my cellphone on a private number (meaning I can't block it). The first time he rang, his first words were ''You blocked me from the euro call''. I hung up on him, not wanting anything to do with him. He has called me several days now, 4-6 times a day. Most of the time, I just shut my phone off because he would keep calling even though I kept rejecting them. I wanted to tell you guys this, to give you a heads up about Henrik. I thought I could help him out, but I couldn't. Instead, it turned out really ugly. It fucking sucks to write something like this, but I believe that I am doing a service for other people who might come into contact with Henrik in the future. I don't want anyone else to get into this situation that I am in now. I have experienced it, and I will serve as a warning. 8
yagami Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Henrik got it. That's a pretty crazy story. But I think there is a way to make it so that your phone only vibrates or is muted when you get a private call. It depends on which type of phone you have but I think you can do that.
MysterionMuffles Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Ah man that's creepy. Sorry you had to have that experience and that he is now hounding you for more attention. It seems to happen that way. Someone who is a little "off" shows vulnerability, and we ignore it to see if we can help them. Then when we do we think it's alright for a while until they start hungering too hard for your time. In this case you showed some vulnerability yourself and he didn't reciprocate and that's shitty since he attacked you instead. I hope you and everyone else in the call weren't too disoriented by his presence. Thanks for the heads up! 1
st434u Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 For crying out loud man, what took you so long to stop communicating with this person? Rather than posting a warning about them, I suggest you try to spend more time thinking and considering how you behaved in this interaction. 4 13
Bedouin Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Ouch, talk about a lack of reiprocity... The moment you mention your own discomfort, after having listened to him talk about his own discomforts, he attacks you... Real nice.
Dylan Lawrence Moore Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 You guys are at least in different countries, right?
st434u Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 What exactly was Yeravos' mistake? He kept taking all sorts of nastyness from this guy and kept interacting with him. 2 4
MysterionMuffles Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 It wasn't direct nastiness. It was that something was off about him and it wasn't fully revealed until Yeravos became vulnerable and honest with him.
PatrickC Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 He kept taking all sorts of nastyness from this guy and kept interacting with him. I'm quite sure there is personal stuff for Yeravos to process here about this interaction. But the manner in which you attempt to highlight it, is far from helpful and almost verges on verbal abuse. I suggest you re-evaluate your own behaviour in this thread. If this community is unable to share abusive interactions they may have like this with individuals they meet from this community. Then they will just carry on their vitriol with others in the community. Watching each others backs is an important part of what goes on here. Let's say it only took me 20 minutes to reach Yeravos conclusions about this chap. It would still have been a waste of my time, when I could have been having a better interaction with someone else. Now people know who this person is and what they are capable of, we are all freed from that unpleasant possibility. 6
PGP Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 I am newish to the board and I am just at the start really of seeking self-knowledge in any meaningful way. I just want to second Patrickc above. I have already left some open-hearted messages on the boards that are allowing me to break into sharing things in this way to work it through both in terms of sharing my past and thoughts and perhaps letting others know that I have had similar experiences and issues so that they know they are not alone as I have thought of myself in the past aswell. I view this open-heartedness as vital to this community while developing better judgement of people in the real world. I do not want to have to second-guess myself and tailor my expression of issues. I absolutely welcome constructive criticism but with this there is a responsibility of moderation and thoughtfulness. There are enough people in the everyday world who will express judgement in a harsh and absolute manner.
travioli Posted October 1, 2014 Posted October 1, 2014 Wow...I got really tense just reading that! That seems like a very uncomfortable situation, and I'm glad you had the courage to share here, for us and yourself. In a tertiary way, it's another piece of evidence on how RTR-ing can really show the true colors of someone. And even though you had a postponed RTR with him, think of how much time it did save when you did do it (even though it ended badly, which is of course truly unfortunate).I appreciate your courage. That's not an easy process to go through. 1
Erik_T Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Thanks for the info. This guy is one of my "friends" on facebook.
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