40 going nowhere. Advice?

[shades]

Need some advice. (Be nice please)

 

Just hit 40 recently. Worked in I.T. for 21 years, and basically got nowhere. A useful idiot for others to leverage and make money off. (I do have talent/skills and a high IQ). Have an apartment with some equity and some decent retirement funds and pretty good with handling finances (now). May go back into the I.T. field for a while as it's all I know, but may be washed up by 45-50 and just relegated to doing odd-job consultancy type stuff. Considering investing in RE as a longer term investment, but our market fundamentals are pretty messed up (Australia).

 

Been betrayed by just about everyone I know along the way, even so called close friends, learnt not to trust virtually anyone really. Tried to help people along the way, got burnt. People demanding loyalty, then just backstab me when it proved expiditious to do so. That's probably the bit that hurts the most. I have high expectations of myself, and kind of expect that from others, but clearly that is a flawed view, eventually came to that realisation.

 

Witnessed lots of people manipulate the system to their advantage, lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead. They seem to do quite well, but I'm not one of them.

 

Probably only a couple of people I can truly trust. Parents separated late in life. Sister is emotive, flighty and unstable, and believes in populist causes. Still have love for the family otherwise, but not much left for my Dad.

 

Want to invest, and start a family, grow a different circle of friends, but seems pretty daunting from this position; certainly possible though.

 

Can anyone offer some decent advice around what might be a good option to do next, and also around being an older dad, marrying a quality woman etc.

 

Was considering a philosophy / podcast type deal, but appears to be already taken!

[shades]

Please move post to Self-Knowledge section, probably more suitable there.

[JSDev]

What kind of IT work do you do? I'm your age and I've been in web dev for about 15 years and it can be really frustrating at times with office politics etc, but as I get older, and since I've been getting into self-knowledge I have way more confidence to not be complacent to bullshit. I'm also a father but I started really young so my kids are all teenagers. However, a friend of mine who is older than me had a son a couple years ago, and I'm starting to see that more often, older people having kids. And of course Stefen had a daughter late in life. It's not unusual.

 

Age combined with self knowledge is a powerful tool for seeking out quality relationships. Don't let age get you down.

[Magnus]

You have described two sets of problems, one of which is complicating the other.

 

The first is your career ambivalence. I relate to that, and empathize. It's the simpler problem, though.

 

Blaming the "market fundamentals" of real estate, as your reason for avoiding that line of work, is a bullshit excuse. Now is the easiest time in history to make money. Yes, markets are damaged by government. But someone of your age and ability can earn a great living. Even now.

 

If you were truly motivated, you could make a killing in real estate. Have you researched it? Talked to people who do it? Taken a seminar? Found a mentor? Apprentice with someone more experienced? Done a small low-risk project to gain experience and see if you like it? There are dozens of niches in the RE industry. Are you familiar with all of them? Even when RE prices are crashing, that means that it's time to snap up bargains.

 

The problem is not the RE market. It's you, your lack of motivation. Which is a very real problem, and one I've had to confront in my own life. But you can't solve your problems until you diagnose them correctly.

 

Or do something else entirely. But whatever you choose to do, I strongly suggest that you work for yourself. FDR people are too smart and talented to be employees forever. It can make sense to work for others (even for free sometimes), but only temporarily, in order to build experience and contacts and knowledge. Work toward owning your business. Take initiative. Keep an entrepreneurial attitude.

 

Which leads to the second problem you've described-- your lack of trust and history of betrayals. You hinted at the problem originating with your parents, so I'll take that at face value. But no one gets "burned" as many times as you have, at your age, without there being something else going on. Have you considered the possibility that you're putting yourself in situations where people can take advantage of you?

 

I'm a litigator, so I have people trying to screw and cheat me all the time. It's normal. It's a fact of life. There are shitty people everywhere. You have to be aware of this unavoidable reality and take precautions.

 

Can you think of a reason you might be contributing to landing in situations where you are persistently betrayed? Only you know the answer.

[dsayers]

Been betrayed by just about everyone I know along the way, even so called close friends, learnt not to trust virtually anyone really. Tried to help people along the way, got burnt. People demanding loyalty, then just backstab me when it proved expiditious to do so. That's probably the bit that hurts the most. I have high expectations of myself, and kind of expect that from others, but clearly that is a flawed view, eventually came to that realisation.

 

That's a lot of betrayal and your takeaway is to not trust anybody and that it's wrong to have "high expectations" for others?!

 

First things first, I want to make it very clear that I'm not blaming the victim. That said, there's things a victim can do to learn from their victimization to diminish the likelihood of being victimized again. To go from being betrayed by X people to deciding that (population of the world - X) cannot be trusted is irrational. It also lets the betrayers off the hook as this interpretation says they're not responsible for their betrayal, they're just a subset of "people."

 

Being betrayed is not an easy thing to endure. It is certainly a lot easier to give up. However, a better way to handle it is to analyze your relationship with them. How did somebody that could do that get to a position in your life where doing that would harm you? If you don't even ask this question, you are powerless to stop it from happening again.

 

I don't know you, but I would wager the part of the problem that's within your control is the standards you have for others. Can they think rationally? Do they grasp morality and therefore respect the other? Do they live their values? Any inconsistency here might be indication of a potential problem. For that matter, how do you stack up? These are my questions; how do you value them?

 

For example, you triggered a red flag in me straightaway. You said "be nice please." You're trying to manage others before them even demonstrating that they are providing anything that would require management. It's manipulative and indicative of unprocessed trauma you're bringing to the table. Would you notice this if you saw somebody else do it? Did you notice it when you did it? Do you agree with my interpretation now that it's pointed out?

[bootoo]

Find work that is useful and with purpose, sounds like you don't necessarily need to chase money, so instead put your skills to work fighting the good fight - then even if day to day you feel like your colleagues are slacking and leaving you the burden, its a good burden to have and you are the hero for getting it done 

 

Christopher Hitchens said something like 'we are barely evolved apes and it shows' - sucks that you had so many assholes around, but as long as you are unhappy the assholes win. Find the good people, find people who want to be happy and want you to be happy. The only way to beat assholes is to live a good fulfilling life and to be happy. The only way to change assholes is to be the example.

[NumberSix]

Sorry that you’re having a tough time.

 

I don’t think real estate is a great business to get into, due to the large amount of capital needed to get started.  Also the prices may be inflated.

 

Some ideas:

 

Start your own web based business.  Remember it doesn’t have to make huge sums of money if you do the development work yourself.  It sounds like you have the skills and intellect for this. 

 

It sounds like you may have worked in a few different industries, so maybe if you think about it you could come up with a better way to do whatever the firms you worked at did.

 

Invest some money in bitcoin.

[tasmlab]

I'd first recommend something that really helped me: creating plans.  Sit with some paper, a word file or excel sheet and write down the different categories of things you'd like to work at (career, money, relationships, wife, family, hobbies, home, etc.) and just write down what you'd like to see happen.  Then pick some interim steps that are easy to achieve.  Spend a few minutes each day mulling it over.

 

It isn't a solution in itself, but if you have a bunch of poorly defined ideas all competing for your active brainspace, it can be very frustrating.  Some organization might help.

 

Mine is an Excel sheet with about 30 different tabs, with categories ranging from personal finance, to business ideas, to weight loss, books I've read, philosophical quips, plans for my employees, etc.  The file is named "lifeplan.xls" and I have it as a permanent icon on my computer dash.  I started it when I began planning to start my own company 10 years ago, and it worked out.

[Timur]

Hey Shades, where in Australia are you?

 

I'm the organiser for the Melbourne Meetup and I can tell you there's a great meetup in Sydney once a month too.

[MrCapitalism]

 Welcome!

Need some advice. (Be nice please)

No. You came to the philosophy website, time to drop some unfiltered philosophy on you

 

Worked in I.T. for 21 years, and basically got nowhere.

I don't understand what this means. Are you still working entry level? Are you making decent money with a decent work schedule? Is your work rewarding? Is 'nowhere' defined as any place other than CEO or upper management?

 

 

A useful idiot for others to leverage and make money off. (I do have talent/skills and a high IQ).

Gotta disagree with you here. As an employee your employer should absolutely be making money off you. That's your job, you have to produce more revenue than your total compensation. If you can't do that for the company, then the company either has to lay you off or soon face bankruptcy if they can't subsidize your position.

 

 

Want to invest, and start a family, grow a different circle of friends, but seems pretty daunting from this position; certainly possible though.

I like Richard Daughtry's advice for investing. "Buy Gold, Silver, and Oil."

 

The free books here "On Truth" and "Real Time Relationships," can help with finding the right woman and circle of friends.

 

If you're going to have kids I would probably make sure that I could afford to raise them, and have the time to be the best parent I could be.

 

 

Considering investing in RE as a longer term investment, but our market fundamentals are pretty messed up (Australia).

If the Australian market is anything what the USA market looks like... I would run for the hills! I pity the poor souls that are buying houses right now

 

Once again welcome!

[shades]

Lots of good feedback here. I'm sifting through each post, and gaining knowledge.

 

Some of you are definately right, that sweeping generalizations don't really fit here. It's more how I feel in many ways,

than all the actual reality of the situation. I should still expect more from others, but it is always a dissapointment when

most let you down. I'm careful how I allocate resources and time to such people to minimise losses.

 

I've achieved a lot of things over 21 years or so, helped a lot of people/organisations, but it feels like starting over,

at the present time. It feels as if I can't risk making a wrong move anywhere at this stage, or an abyss of failure awaits.

 

I feel unsupported at a rather critical time, but been there before and always survived. I can survive just about anything, I've discovered. I should appreciate that I'm in a lot better situation and state than many people, but of course I want

my life to be better.

What kind of IT work do you do? I'm your age and I've been in web dev for about 15 years and it can be really frustrating at times with office politics etc, but as I get older, and since I've been getting into self-knowledge I have way more confidence to not be complacent to bullshit. I'm also a father but I started really young so my kids are all teenagers. However, a friend of mine who is older than me had a son a couple years ago, and I'm starting to see that more often, older people having kids. And of course Stefen had a daughter late in life. It's not unusual.Age combined with self knowledge is a powerful tool for seeking out quality relationships. Don't let age get you down.

 

I've worked as a support engineer, datacenter op/syadmin, sysadmin, network sysadmin, including some programming as a webdev/appdev, I've worked with all kinds of hardware, and software and environments large and small. Recently I've specialised more in virtualisation.

 

I hate the office politics too, fortunately avoided much of it, but annoying when it comes along and drains everyone's productivity.

 

I take on board your info on age. In the past it was normal for people to have kids young. It appears to only be an option for the already well-off, or those willing to use welfare to afford them at such an age.

[dsayers]

I feel unsupported at a rather critical time

 

What does this mean? Do you know have a support system in place? Are you not communicating your feelings to them? Are they abandoning you after you share your feelings with them?

 

I had asked a number of questions in my last post and don't feel you've addressed any of them. I feel as if I'm putting more thought into this than you're willing to. If this was how you handled your past relationships, they might decide to take their leave so that THEY can get better support. Which could be interpreted by the person left behind as betrayal.

 

See this is why the self-knowledge is important.

[shades]

What does this mean? Do you know have a support system in place? Are you not communicating your feelings to them? Are they abandoning you after you share your feelings with them?

 

I had asked a number of questions in my last post and don't feel you've addressed any of them. I feel as if I'm putting more thought into this than you're willing to. If this was how you handled your past relationships, they might decide to take their leave so that THEY can get better support. Which could be interpreted by the person left behind as betrayal.

 

See this is why the self-knowledge is important.

 

Hey dsayers,

 

Not much of a support system, just a few old friends. Parents and sister living in separate geographical locations, only see them occasionally. Support from fam has been pretty dismal at best, unfortunately.

 

My friends have their own lives and issues clearly, but the ones that count, often demand the old ME Plus to meet their expectations. They would like to pigeon-hole me, and I'm just not that type of person. Yes, they avoid me if I tell them how I feel, and point out how they're acting.

 

Unfortunately some of them seem to feel they need to see me as inadequate in their eyesm or they're not comfortable, which is sadly amusing in some ways, as they have unexamined lives themselves, with the flaws that go along with that. I've never felt to be in a good position to support others, I have helped them on the occasions when they've really needed it, and asked for it, but I can see in some ways how they might think I'm absent and aloof, but it's not really the case. Unfortunately, perception is 90% of people's reality.

 

I appreciate that you'd like a response to your points, I've just started responding to everyone's posts and there is a lot to take in.

 

Hey Shades, where in Australia are you?

 

I'm the organiser for the Melbourne Meetup and I can tell you there's a great meetup in Sydney once a month too.

 

Hey Timur,

 

I'm in Perth, a bit far from those locations. (You'll all have to pardon me, I'm not used to this rather strange multi-quote reply system. It's doing my head in a bit).

 Welcome!

No. You came to the philosophy website, time to drop some unfiltered philosophy on you

I don't understand what this means. Are you still working entry level? Are you making decent money with a decent work schedule? Is your work rewarding? Is 'nowhere' defined as any place other than CEO or upper management?

 

Gotta disagree with you here. As an employee your employer should absolutely be making money off you. That's your job, you have to produce more revenue than your total compensation. If you can't do that for the company, then the company either has to lay you off or soon face bankruptcy if they can't subsidize your position.

 

I like Richard Daughtry's advice for investing. "Buy Gold, Silver, and Oil."

 

The free books here "On Truth" and "Real Time Relationships," can help with finding the right woman and circle of friends.

 

If you're going to have kids I would probably make sure that I could afford to raise them, and have the time to be the best parent I could be.

 

If the Australian market is anything what the USA market looks like... I would run for the hills! I pity the poor souls that are buying houses right now

 

Once again welcome!

 

You're right. Raw philosophical response required, and that was a pre-emptive response to people just taking the opportunity to kick others while they're down. You'd need to understand that aspect of Australian "society", to really get it. For all the good things about Australia, we have some really sick/damaged individuals getting around.

 

I'm fine with employers charging me out to clients, or making them profitable really. I can understand they are conducting a business, but to just do it endlessly and see little reward is not what I had in mind I guess. The options are work for myself, or work for myself by investing, which are effectively the same things. I have tried to run my own company, and that is definately one of the hardest things I ever tried...

 

Gold, silver and oil? Well oil/gas was once good, but oil will enter it's twilight in the next 15-20 years as demand is removed. Silver is a really good investment, and if you get into PMs in 1999-2000 you would have cleaned up like a bandit. Interestingly PMs often track real-estate growth, they do not require management or maintenance, so are a stable get-rich-slow approach if you buy and sell at the appropriate times. Gold is for those who have already made it, and don't want lots of space for storage etc.

 

I'm very aware that supporting a family is a costly venture in every respect, so correct financial moves are key.

 

Australia's property market has entered a bubble and they're not sure where it will end up, usually these things bust.. badly, but with the money invested it would be catastrophic, if that occurred to our economy, and the so-called investors out there. Our reserve bank will pull every trick in the book to keep confidence in brick and mortar. Unfortunately with wages not tracking the outrageous housing prices, it's becoming evident this is not sustainable.

 

Employers are literally taking a slash and burn approach to their workforces here, underpaying etc. to maximise returns for themselves, so higher wages for most, are nearly impossible as most are lucky to retain their jobs.

I'd first recommend something that really helped me: creating plans.  Sit with some paper, a word file or excel sheet and write down the different categories of things you'd like to work at (career, money, relationships, wife, family, hobbies, home, etc.) and just write down what you'd like to see happen.  Then pick some interim steps that are easy to achieve.  Spend a few minutes each day mulling it over.

 

It isn't a solution in itself, but if you have a bunch of poorly defined ideas all competing for your active brainspace, it can be very frustrating.  Some organization might help.

 

Mine is an Excel sheet with about 30 different tabs, with categories ranging from personal finance, to business ideas, to weight loss, books I've read, philosophical quips, plans for my employees, etc.  The file is named "lifeplan.xls" and I have it as a permanent icon on my computer dash.  I started it when I began planning to start my own company 10 years ago, and it worked out.

 

Interesting approach. I've kind of done that with my retirement plan, and a few other things, but you're right, without organisation you just have a series of flighty, confusing thoughts flying around without a game-plan. I'll try and implement this a bit more as you've done.

Sorry that you’re having a tough time.

 

I don’t think real estate is a great business to get into, due to the large amount of capital needed to get started.  Also the prices may be inflated.

 

Some ideas:

 

Start your own web based business.  Remember it doesn’t have to make huge sums of money if you do the development work yourself.  It sounds like you have the skills and intellect for this. 

 

It sounds like you may have worked in a few different industries, so maybe if you think about it you could come up with a better way to do whatever the firms you worked at did.

 

Invest some money in bitcoin.

 

Hi, capital is not the issue, but the prices are definately inflated for established properties. Only developers etc. are making the real money or those that have renovation skill.

 

A web-based business is an idea. Mine would be more of a cloud/virtualisation space.

 

As for Bitcoin, I just can't see myself investing in a virtual currency like that, given what I know about it. I would consider that way too risky.

Find work that is useful and with purpose, sounds like you don't necessarily need to chase money, so instead put your skills to work fighting the good fight - then even if day to day you feel like your colleagues are slacking and leaving you the burden, its a good burden to have and you are the hero for getting it done 

 

Christopher Hitchens said something like 'we are barely evolved apes and it shows' - sucks that you had so many assholes around, but as long as you are unhappy the assholes win. Find the good people, find people who want to be happy and want you to be happy. The only way to beat assholes is to live a good fulfilling life and to be happy. The only way to change assholes is to be the example.

 

Well, money is not a central tenet to myself, and in many ways I'm quite fulfilled, but to raise a family I realise that it is a necessary component, unless my wife rejoices in being poor alongside me, and I don't think it's fair to not provide the right level of security to family if I have any choice around that.

 

My fight will have to be when I'm a bit older... but at that time I may have a lot of influence, and the ability to assist others who share the same outlook.

 

I fully intend to succeed in life, I don't have anything to prove to the assholes of the world, most are already vaguely cognitive of the fact of what / who they are. We can only hope they reach some self-realisation of their own eventually. We are more super-primates than barely evolved ones, but we still share the same lizard-brain, and in some it is a lot more pronounced.

[Brentb]

You're going nowhere because you don't know what you want. You'll find what you want if you spend time exploring both yourself (therapy and/or other self-knowledge work) and the world around you. If you make a commitment to achieving what you want, and take steps to fulfill on it, then you'll start going somewhere. 

 

The excuses for your lack of success (others betray and manipulate the system) need to go. As long as your focus is on others or on your own status, you won't be able to see what you want or achieve it.

 

I'm making it sound easier than it is. It's simple, but it's not likely to be easy or quick. 

[NumberSix]

Hi, capital is not the issue, but the prices are definately inflated for established properties. Only developers etc. are making the real money or those that have renovation skill.

 

A web-based business is an idea. Mine would be more of a cloud/virtualisation space.

 

As for Bitcoin, I just can't see myself investing in a virtual currency like that, given what I know about it. I would consider that way too risky.

 

What I mean is the return on investment as a ratio to the capital invested makes it a poor investment choice.  For example (back of napkin calculations) in USA you need around $50,000 USD to purchase a property with a mortgage.  After you get done paying mortgage, property tax and maintenance you would see maybe 15% profit.  Contrast that with a web based biz where $50 K would fund it for a few years (assuming you do dev work) and your profit could be around $100 K a year.

 

If you could build a GUI interface for AWS that makes it easy to create scaleable infrastructure for a web app with no CLI skills needed, that would make a lot of money.

 

I disagree about bitcoin, but don’t want to get bogged down debating it.  I would encourage you to at least consider putting in some throw away money.

[shades]

What I mean is the return on investment as a ratio to the capital invested makes it a poor investment choice.  For example (back of napkin calculations) in USA you need around $50,000 USD to purchase a property with a mortgage.  After you get done paying mortgage, property tax and maintenance you would see maybe 15% profit.  Contrast that with a web based biz where $50 K would fund it for a few years (assuming you do dev work) and your profit could be around $100 K a year.

 

If you could build a GUI interface for AWS that makes it easy to create scaleable infrastructure for a web app with no CLI skills needed, that would make a lot of money.

 

I disagree about bitcoin, but don’t want to get bogged down debating it.  I would encourage you to at least consider putting in some throw away money.

 

Thanks, I agree with much of what you've put forward here. Here our RE profits would be closer to 9-10% in many regions 15% if you'd bought in rather specific places.

[DFPercush]

How is your physical health? If you don't already have one, an exercise regimen can help you have a more positive outlook, more energy, and better concentration. A healthy body yields a healthy mind. I've just started getting back into it myself, but I can already tell a difference. I'm so much more eager to sit down and code, and I'm not so caught up in self analysis or worrying about whether I'm going to succeed - I just do what I need to do. Starting an entrepreneurial venture is a daunting task. I can't really speak from a position of success just yet, and I'm younger than you, so take that as you will. But just take a divide and conquer approach. One of my first jobs was at a motorcycle dealership and I remember having to completely re-sort an entire wall of helmets. I dreaded it at first and it seemed overwhelming, but my boss said that to me (divide and conquer) and so I just started pulling out one small section at a time. Of course my knowledge of sorting algorithms helped. Anyway, I got done a lot faster than I thought I would, because I had a plan, and all I had to do was take each small step at a time. If it's just you in your basement with little overhead (describes me) then you don't have to stress about deadlines so much. Just make sure you're putting in the work every day, with down time as needed, and monitor your milestones. You could be a great father with a home office setup. But you do need to commit to a plan. Get on a dating website, or go speed dating, or just go on the prowl, and just be honest about what you want. Don't feel like you have to be the model disposable male. Tell the woman your plans, and be shameless. "Hi, I'm looking to find a woman to start a family with, here's what I want, would you like to explore a relationship?" Your resolve will make her want to follow you. And if she doesn't, she's not the right one. She might have to help with the income at first, but it's not that unusual for both partners to be working this day in age. Just tell her that might be necessary at first, but that you're working to make a more secure future for the both of you. I would definitely talk about who's going to nurture the kids in the early years though, and arrange the finances of that first stage. If your savings can cover the breast feeding stage, that's all you really need. Anyway, that's some advice that a friend gave me last week, and it really gave me a new perspective. I hope it's somewhat helpful to you. Now I just need to follow it myself

 

Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

 

PS As far as the betrayal thing, I think you can take a silver lining from that. Because now, when people reciprocate and treat you right, you'll appreciate it. Make sure you tell them that. You have to teach others how to treat you.

[shades]

How is your physical health? If you don't already have one, an exercise regimen can help you have a more positive outlook, more energy, and better concentration. A healthy body yields a healthy mind. I've just started getting back into it myself, but I can already tell a difference. I'm so much more eager to sit down and code, and I'm not so caught up in self analysis or worrying about whether I'm going to succeed - I just do what I need to do. Starting an entrepreneurial venture is a daunting task. I can't really speak from a position of success just yet, and I'm younger than you, so take that as you will. But just take a divide and conquer approach. One of my first jobs was at a motorcycle dealership and I remember having to completely re-sort an entire wall of helmets. I dreaded it at first and it seemed overwhelming, but my boss said that to me (divide and conquer) and so I just started pulling out one small section at a time. Of course my knowledge of sorting algorithms helped. Anyway, I got done a lot faster than I thought I would, because I had a plan, and all I had to do was take each small step at a time. If it's just you in your basement with little overhead (describes me) then you don't have to stress about deadlines so much. Just make sure you're putting in the work every day, with down time as needed, and monitor your milestones. You could be a great father with a home office setup. But you do need to commit to a plan. Get on a dating website, or go speed dating, or just go on the prowl, and just be honest about what you want. Don't feel like you have to be the model disposable male. Tell the woman your plans, and be shameless. "Hi, I'm looking to find a woman to start a family with, here's what I want, would you like to explore a relationship?" Your resolve will make her want to follow you. And if she doesn't, she's not the right one. She might have to help with the income at first, but it's not that unusual for both partners to be working this day in age. Just tell her that might be necessary at first, but that you're working to make a more secure future for the both of you. I would definitely talk about who's going to nurture the kids in the early years though, and arrange the finances of that first stage. If your savings can cover the breast feeding stage, that's all you really need. Anyway, that's some advice that a friend gave me last week, and it really gave me a new perspective. I hope it's somewhat helpful to you. Now I just need to follow it myself

 

Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

 

PS As far as the betrayal thing, I think you can take a silver lining from that. Because now, when people reciprocate and treat you right, you'll appreciate it. Make sure you tell them that. You have to teach others how to treat you.

 

Health is a bit of an issue, due to some previous injuries, but I'm a lot more active now, and watch what I eat fairly well. Failure to maintain care of them leads to a lot of annoying pain, and left too long becomes a form of depression from the pain. I definately feel much better, and sleep better after exercise, so that is definately a valid point, with a solid scientific basis nowadays. At 40 in good shape, you realise you are strong, but lacking in flexibility and more prone to injury (or aware of that fact) than when you're younger, so I find I need to ease myself into more strenuous activities than expect an iron man performance from day one.I've read through, and you've hit the nail on the head with most of your comments there. I was caught up procrastinating and a lot of that comes through from fear of the unknown, or fear of not being able to complete what I set out to do and letting myself, or others (or future self) down. The solution is planning, but not get so caught up in the planning, that you get nothing done, and not expect perfect outcomes, but acceptable, excellent outcomes, as close to perfect as reasonable energy expenditure allows.

 

Soon I'll have some more options / flexibility which is nice, but time is a-wasting, and waits for no man...

 

[RuralRon]

Do you know C++ or feel you could pick it up? What type of programming skills / experience have you had?

 

You might not feel bitcoin is trustworthy enough to invest your $ into, but what about your time? There's plenty of ways to get involved in the cryptocurrency revolution, which has many parallels to the evolution of the Internet. It's an exciting field that needs principled, self aware people.

 

But I also think you have other issues you need to face and work on to really feel in control of your life in order to begin achieving your goals. Seeking therapy is an important step. If you don't have the time or money to devote to that consider self therapy approaches like IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy). Check out Jay Earley's book on IFS on amazon. I'm working thru it now. Here are a couple of free webinars coming up on the 14th: 1) Experiential Exploration of IFS (Internal Family Systems) 2)  Looking for love in all the wrong places that might be a good place to see if it's a good fit for you.

 

Another thought is to look into a lifecoach. I highly recommend this one, who is an FDR meetup organizer. Ady's great, but may not be what you need. It may be worth having a convo with her, certainly wouldn't hurt. https://board.freedomainradio.com/user/17352-ady-sheerer/