Childhood Psychological Abuse as Harmful as Sexual or Physical Abuse

[WizWom]

APA Press release about a new study result.http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/10/psychological-abuse.aspx

[RyanT]

It's really great they're putting this stuff out there, I can't speak for people who suffered sexual abuse, nor can I even begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been for them, but certainly as someone who was hit as a kid, the psychological abuse always cut far deeper.

 

My parents where pretty happy to pawn me of on my grandparents soon after their divorce, over the years that's absolutely played havoc with my self-esteem...and obviously created real difficulty forming any sort of meaningful relationships.

[Drew.]

In my experience, psychological abuse is always so much worse. With physical abuse, I always got the sense that deep down something was wrong with that interaction. When my father spanked me, I would cry "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" But with the psychological abuse, I internalized it. Things like, "I'm a mistake," and "I'm only a burden to my parents," were so much more covert and much harder to break away from and heal. That said, physical abuse is also inflicts psychological damage as well.

[Bouncelot]

I think the psychological hits so hard b/c it twists "who we are", the people responsible for teaching us what is "normal" end up teaching us wrong or backwards thinking, that carries through the rest of our lives. Until/Unless we wake up and seek help that is. What's worse is it often causes us to run from "normal" as it doesn't "feel right".

[Drew.]

To add on what I've already shared:

 

Personally, I think that physical sexual abuse does the most damage. My understanding on this is quite limited and I can't back up this claim with any information at this point, but the worst of acts conducted by people such as murder and rape are committed by people who have experience such things or similar things as a child.

 

Psychological sexual abuse is also really bad, but I don't think it does nearly as much damage. But in a way, it's a bit more sinister because the survivor can lead a "functional" life.

[RyanT]

Isn't it interesting Drew, that we both seem to have felt this need to assert that we didn't think psychological abuse is nearly as bad as sexual abuse?

 

For me it really smacks of internalized parent/society, this fear of them berating us for daring to even compare the two.

 

Certainly now I think on it though...everybody I've known who was raped or molested as a kid (...or indeed as an adult) also experienced massive psychological abuse often in the form of neglect.  

 

As Stef has often pointed out, apart from the very rare cases of nut-jobs hiding in bushes or pulling random kids into windowless vans pretty much all sexual abuse is strategically aimed at kids who the predator doesn't feel threatened by.

 

..Who've normalized being made to do thing that they don't enjoy to please adults, who're used to being ordered not to talk about certain subjects, who can be convinced their parents will actually hate them if the truth comes out....

[Drew.]

Isn't it interesting Drew, that we both seem to have felt this need to assert that we didn't think psychological abuse is nearly as bad as sexual abuse?

 

For me it really smacks of internalized parent/society, this fear of them berating us for daring to even compare the two.

 

Certainly now I think on it though...everybody I've known who was raped or molested as a kid (...or indeed as an adult) also experienced massive psychological abuse often in the form of neglect.  

 

As Stef has often pointed out, apart from the very rare cases of nut-jobs hiding in bushes or pulling random kids into windowless vans pretty much all sexual abuse is strategically aimed at kids who the predator doesn't feel threatened by.

 

..Who've normalized being made to do thing that they don't enjoy to please adults, who're used to being ordered not to talk about certain subjects, who can be convinced their parents will actually hate them if the truth comes out....

Yeah, it is interesting. Sexual abuse is just a different form of physical abuse or psychological abuse. If I were to reframe what I had said about sexual abuse, I would say that in terms of a single action or incident. Certainly, prolonged psychological abuse--especially in the form of neglect--is far more damaging. I think that maybe sexual abuse is a symptom of severe psychological abuse, like what you've just shared about normalizing the objectification of children. After a certain degree of psychological abuse, then sexual abuse is the next major landmark scarred into the psyche of a child.It's also really interesting to note that there is this distinction between sexual, physical, and psychological abuse.

[J. D. Stembal]

It's really great they're putting this stuff out there, I can't speak for people who suffered sexual abuse, nor can I even begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been for them, but certainly as someone who was hit as a kid, the psychological abuse always cut far deeper.

 

My parents where pretty happy to pawn me of on my grandparents soon after their divorce, over the years that's absolutely played havoc with my self-esteem...and obviously created real difficulty forming any sort of meaningful relationships.

 

Practically every boy in the United States is sexually abused legally with parental consent, in so far that circumcision is occurring. If your genitals were mutilated, as mine were, your brain knows full well how much that hurt no matter if you subconsciously buried the pain or not. I don't know how we can argue that this is not sexual abuse (aside from the fact that it is a legal procedure to perform on an infant), but I'd be willing to hear an argument against it. Later, in adulthood, not having a copious amount of foreskin on the penis sometimes causes me a lot of pain during intercourse. There have been more than a couple times where I've had to stop intercourse because of pain or loss of sensation, and my surgery was not botched in any way.

 

I agree that psychological abuse is the most dangerous of the three forms because it takes a toll every hour of every day, and not just when you're trying to make another penis. Thanks for posting the link to the article.