Child Abuse Intervention at Barnes And Noble

[Three]

It happened in Barnes and Noble. I had just stopped at the Personal Growth section, as I'm one to do. I was looking to find a book entitled "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" or something like that.Beside me, sat a woman on the floor in the "indian style" position. Next to her, also on the floor, was a young boy who looked to be the age of 7.My goal was to find something to help me process unpleasant memories of my mother that had been triggered just the day before.Before I even got a good gander at the books, I see the lady quite forcefully swat the boy's backside, which created that oh so familiar and dreadful popping sound distinctive of slapping human skin.I didn't catch how it escalated to that point, but it didn't matter. It was fucking hostile. Without hesitation I looked down on her and scolded her, with anger and conviction, "Ma'm, that is really inappropriate! You don't hit kids"She said something to the liking of, "I'm sorry you feel that way ""No!", I pointed at the books, "no where will you find in these books that hitting kids is appropriate"I mean, she was in  a personal growth section for goodness sake.She then thanked me sarcastically for letting her know about my perception, which I'm beginning to see as a common bullshit defense from these child abusers.Luckily, since I had encountered this before during my last intervention, I was ready to reply with what I wished I would have said last time."You're welcome", I said. I started to walk away, but stopped once I remembered something very important. I turned around, walked to the boy's side, kneeled down to his level, looked him in the eyes and said, ""Hey, Man. nobody should hit you, okay?""Okay", he whispered while simultaneously nodding his head in agreement. Now that I attended to my injured comrade, I was ready to depart. Don't ignore the call of duty, people. We're philosophers and this is our responsibilitiy. I know it can be difficult, but trust me. Please trust me. it's worth it. As Emma Watson said,"If not us, then who? If not now, than when?"I hope that helps. Take care, Joel

[jpahmad]

Wow Joel.  Doing this is becoming as smooth as getting out of bed in the morning.  Good work

[Deil]

That's awesome Joel!

 

I was once waiting around this Children Theater for my friend who worked there and had just finished a show. There was two female adults and a little girl across the room from me. The girl couldn't have been more than 7. She was idly pulling on one of those retractable belt "stanchions", I just learned is what it's called. They're used to make waiting lines. The girl was barely pulling it out, not even making a noise. The mother walks over, smacks the girl on the wrist, then pulls the girl by the wrist back over to the bench that she was sitting on...

 

I was so incredibly torn on what the hell I should do. I think I had taken 3 or 4 steps towards them to say something, but I had some incredible wall of guilt holding me back. I know it was selfish of me, but I'm saying this because I understand what it takes to do what you did, and I really don't know how to confront a situation like that...

[prolix]

Nice one. But I always throw out the fact about hitting kids lowering IQ points. Can't think of a better bumper sticker mantra that isn't a 20 min. rant....

[Dylan Lawrence Moore]

Joel, I think you've demonstrated an incredibly important point here. Even if the mother/parents has the receptivity of a brick, and even if you know that nothing you're going to say is going to change or impact her, the very fact that you let the child know that his suspicions are correct (i.e. that it's not okay for someone to hit him) is HUGE in the child's point of view. You have officially proven that the entire universe isn't conspiring against him and that he himself isn't necessarily the problem. I think an action like this may be the fuel/inspiration for this boy to break free from his abusers in the future.

[dsayers]

+1 to your post and Dylan's post. To resonate what he said, it's VERY important for this things to happen. Even if the parent can withstand the ostracism, the child NEEDS a counter-example so that he knows it's not okay. It will help him to NOT normalize the abuse. For the rest of his life, that child (and his mother) are going to remember that a complete stranger cared about him more than his own mother. This might not fix her or bond them, but it will help him to understand that assaulting the defenseless is NOT okay.

 

No surprise that her inability to negotiate with her son led to her inability to negotiate with you.

[powder]

Good for you Joel.  One of my regrets in life is not stepping up to intervene on behalf of my nephew when his crazy mother assaulted him in front of us.  It wasn't just a 'disciplinary reprimand' type of 'correction' slap either.  He was about 3 and she attacked him and tossed him about and struck him a few times.  I just looked on in shock and horror.  We lost touch with him for many years and when he reappeared as an adult I was able to speak to him about his childhood and apologize for not intervening on his behalf.  He no longer has a relationship with her but he really is messed up. 

[shirgall]

Kudos to you Joel.

[Three]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's incredibly motivating and makes interventions so much easier know that I have you guy's support.  

That's awesome Joel!

 

I was once waiting around this Children Theater for my friend who worked there and had just finished a show. There was two female adults and a little girl across the room from me. The girl couldn't have been more than 7. She was idly pulling on one of those retractable belt "stanchions", I just learned is what it's called. They're used to make waiting lines. The girl was barely pulling it out, not even making a noise. The mother walks over, smacks the girl on the wrist, then pulls the girl by the wrist back over to the bench that she was sitting on...

 

I was so incredibly torn on what the hell I should do. I think I had taken 3 or 4 steps towards them to say something, but I had some incredible wall of guilt holding me back. I know it was selfish of me, but I'm saying this because I understand what it takes to do what you did, and I really don't know how to confront a situation like that...

 I can certainly understand that sometimes it feels like your body is working against you. To relate to what you were saying here's an intervention where I had a similar struggle. https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/40847-child-abuse-intervention-at-kroger/#entry373748Keep trying, though. You can do it  

Joel, I think you've demonstrated an incredibly important point here. Even if the mother/parents has the receptivity of a brick, and even if you know that nothing you're going to say is going to change or impact her, the very fact that you let the child know that his suspicions are correct (i.e. that it's not okay for someone to hit him) is HUGE in the child's point of view. You have officially proven that the entire universe isn't conspiring against him and that he himself isn't necessarily the problem. I think an action like this may be the fuel/inspiration for this boy to break free from his abusers in the future.

 

Thank you. I think that's something I'd like to focus on more in the future. That takes a lot of stress off me since I don't have to be thinking of comebacks or a way to persuade someone.  

Good for you Joel.  One of my regrets in life is not stepping up to intervene on behalf of my nephew when his crazy mother assaulted him in front of us.  It wasn't just a 'disciplinary reprimand' type of 'correction' slap either.  He was about 3 and she attacked him and tossed him about and struck him a few times.  I just looked on in shock and horror.  We lost touch with him for many years and when he reappeared as an adult I was able to speak to him about his childhood and apologize for not intervening on his behalf.  He no longer has a relationship with her but he really is messed up. 

I have regrets too about not intervening when I could have. Regret is healthy, let it inform you

[MysterionMuffles]

You're a true hero man. I wonder how these kids lives and thinking are to this day after what you've done for them. Most especially the ones you've actually addressed and expressed sympathy for directly rather than just dealing with their parents.

[MMX2010]

I am not yet well-grounded enough in public speaking and philosophy to intervene the way you do.  But I am inspired to reach these goals through your example. 

 

Thank you, Joel. 

[amaranth]

That's fantastic! Bravo to you, Joel. I'm sure neither the kid nor the mother will ever forget that. As a former B&N employee, I'd like to say I would have done the same thing had I seen something like that.

[Three]

You're a true hero man. I wonder how these kids lives and thinking are to this day after what you've done for them. Most especially the ones you've actually addressed and expressed sympathy for directly rather than just dealing with their parents.

Thanks, Marlon! I appreciate your support, as always.  

 

I am not yet well-grounded enough in public speaking and philosophy to intervene the way you do.  But I am inspired to reach these goals through your example. 

 

Thank you, Joel. 

That's great, man! When I first started, I could barely get the words out! 

That's fantastic! Bravo to you, Joel. I'm sure neither the kid nor the mother will ever forget that. As a former B&N employee, I'd like to say I would have done the same thing had I seen something like that.

Thank you