NotDarkYet Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 What are the origins of cheapness? I'm super cheap. Spending money is somewhat anxiety inducing for me. I avoid going to a movie, buying restaurant food, drinks at a bar, new clothes, watering the lawn, etc I didn't grow up poor, or rich. What's the deal? I see other people around me throwing around money easily on concert tickets, 6 dollar beers, 15 dollar sushi, etc...and it freaks me out. How can they spend their hard earned money so easily while I'm so tight with a buck?
Gavitor Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Have you tried asking them? Are you saving for something? If not whats wrong with spending it on something you want/enjoy? perhaps those things aren't of value to you.
NotDarkYet Posted October 13, 2014 Author Posted October 13, 2014 Are you saving for something? Hmm. No. I think the future me is more important than the present me. Although, come to think of it, I can't imagine when that switch will flip and I'll be ok with spending money.
ParaSait Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I think probably you may just feel out of place in a society where everyone else carelessly spends way too much...
Drew. Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You said that you experience anxiety around spending money. So, something about it must be kind of stressful for you. Are you afraid that something will happen if you spend the money?
surfingthoughts Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Might be useful to examine your early experiences with money for example pocket money and presents not necessarily how much you were given but what you were told at the time how you felt about it ect. Do you have the same anxiety spending money online?
JordanS Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 It stems from the scarcity mentality. How are you with lending money, and or helping other people with no immediate value for yourself?
NotDarkYet Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Early experiences with money: I remember fearing adult life....feeling like I won't be prepared (my parents taught me nothing, and gave me zero advice on how to be an adult). So, I still feel that way. I feel inadequate for life. Spending money is what confident people do. Saving. That's safe.
QueechoFeecho Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Hmm. No. I think the future me is more important than the present me. Although, come to think of it, I can't imagine when that switch will flip and I'll be ok with spending money. Right here i think you're contradicting yourself by saying both "No" and "the future me is more important than the present me". It might not be that obvious, but in a way, you are saving for your future self. I can relate. When I was in college I remember having a few thousand dollars in my bank account and finding great comfort in that mainly because I observed friends all around me that were having trouble either paying rent or paying tuition or buying books or whatever else. While I didn't do most of the spending many of them did, i simply felt comfortable knowing that IF there was something I wanted or needed, I could do it. Those things rarely occurred, but just knowing I could swing it was the source of utility for me. 1
wdiaz03 Posted October 21, 2014 Posted October 21, 2014 Early experiences with money: I remember fearing adult life....feeling like I won't be prepared (my parents taught me nothing, and gave me zero advice on how to be an adult). So, I still feel that way. I feel inadequate for life. Spending money is what confident people do. Saving. That's safe. Could it be a self esteem issue then? if you are not confident that you will easily earn money in the future you might feel like saving more in the present is the right thing to do. On the other hand, if you felt confident on your skills and do not worry about not finding a job if you get laid off, then spending money would come easier. Another point to consider is that you might be more informed than the average person, if you believe that it is highly probably that there will be an economic collapse in the future, then saving money might be a way of cushioning that hit. One of my biggest incentives in delaying gratification is the knowledge that each day the government is pouring sand on the gears of the economy, I would feel much better in a booming free market economy where jobs would be easily available. Instead of the massive unemployment we have now and the regulations that prevents new business from entering the market. I feel that jobs are harder to find now days, so I try to create a nest egg to prevent future suffering. hope that helps
aFireInside Posted October 21, 2014 Posted October 21, 2014 I have been around people with similar problems. Someone I use to know was like this, I eventually stopped hanging out with this person. But i did notice that it was learned behavior. His mother and father did the same thing. What is your history with spending money ? this person i use to know use to freak out because i use the gas pedal to much. If i bought fries with a burger.. etc
Josh F Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 I can relate to this question. From my own experience I remember being held accountable for every dollar my parents spent on me. If I got a new toy, it also came with stories about how great my parents were, how sacrificing and hard working they are, etc. And then if I didn't respect the toy I was ungrateful. When I was a young kid my parents once sat me down and said "we can either buy a new oven, or send you to Karate class, which would you prefer?" Being a kid of course I said I want to take Karate class. Little did I know I was signing an invisible contract with my parents that said every time you don't feel like going to Karate class we're going to throw the oven in your face and make you feel guilty. Though not raised poor or rich, in the end everything I desired became a reflection of my ungrateful selfishness.
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