What to answer on the BS argument: I was spanked and came out allrigt.

[Fred]

Yesterday I was talking to someone about how spanking permanently damages children and, like always, the BS argument comes up: 'I was spanked and came out allright'.

 

Mostly this corners me a bit, but now my immediate reply was 'You can't claim to be allright when you think it's normal to hit defenseless children'. He didn't know what to say anymore.

 

I'm wondering, what's your answer on this BS argument?

[dsayers]

what's your answer on this BS argument?

 

Just to be clear, it's not an argument at all. For starters, "came out alright" is vague. Also, his claim is that because he "came out alright," EVERYTHING that happened to and around him MUST be acceptable. This is far too generalized to be accurate.

 

When somebody says, "I was spanked and I turned out okay," they're telling you that they're not ready to face the reality that they were assaulted by somebody they grew up thinking cared about them.

[Alin]

'I was spanked and came out allright'.

I'm wondering, what's your answer on this BS argument?

 

 

The fact that you say that is proof that you defnitely did not turn out allright.

[Wuzzums]

Mostly this corners me a bit, but now my immediate reply was 'You can't claim to be allright when you think it's normal to hit defenseless children'. He didn't know what to say anymore.

 

This. I also get the same response, silence. Then the conversation changes topic "somehow".

[amaranth]

Simply ask them how they know they are alright. This will usually be their undoing in this type of argument.

[NotDarkYet]

Assuming he DID turn out alright:

 

"My mother got drunk a lot during pregnancy, and I turned out all right."

 

Would that mean it's ok for mothers to drink during pregnancy?

[Alin]

I survived the Holocaust as a child and I turned out all right. A world war is not that bad, it will make you stronger in the long run.

 

Not a response but just something that crossed my mind.

[LovePrevails]

Here is a  podcast on engaging people who hold this view :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IalPvNCC3k

[cynicist]

How do you know? Say that they consider themselves fine now. It's possible that they were resilient enough to make it out ok, but what could they have become if they only had a more positive environment? How much potential was lost? It's an unanswerable question.

 

Then obviously not everyone turns out fine, so overall it's still negative for it to be done even if you consider yourself relatively unscathed. 

[Pepin]

My response might be something like the below.

 

Why do you think that it matters that you think you came out alright? If this is a scientific question, then drawing answers from a single self assessment without controlling for any variables or biases simply isn't relevant. I'm not saying that your opinion of yourself isn't important nor that it isn't valid, but rather that it isn't scientific.

 

Even if we can confirm that spanking did not affect you negatively, it does not at all imply that the same would apply to the rest of the population. For instance, studies done on smoking show that only a third of smokers suffer from serious health complications. If you are in that lucky two thirds of smokers, it would not make sense to say that smoking does not cause any harm simply because it did not cause you harm.

 

What I am suggesting is that we don't focus on your own case so much as not much can be gained. If spanking is or not damaging, then there are scientific studies which will show it. If the studies show there is causation, you may be an anomaly, but this wouldn't imply that spanking is detrimental to at least some significant percentage of the population.

 

I think focusing on the science is crucial. Making it clear that they may be perfectly right in their self-assessment, but that you can't accept it as it isn't scientific nor a large sample size will hopefully lower their defenses and cause them to be more willing to look at the data.