Finally connected with my anger

[aFireInside]

I think stef says something like anger is suppose to propel you into action.

 

I had trouble connecting with my anger in regards to how my parents raised me. (neglect, fear of the world)

 

Recently I had an experience when I was talking to my manager about a possible change in my schedule because of a possible second job. 

She acted passive aggressive and avoided me asking her. 

On my break I got angry because I had told her before you leave I want to talk to you about something important please don't leave. She said something like "its always something bad when people say that to me" and laughed. She said it in a casual funny way. 

 

On my break I got really angry and told my shift manager to tell her that I'm going to call her. Once he told her she called me and i got to talk to her and I solved my problem. 

 

 

More recently I had anxiety about going to a programming meet-up. I had fear that i wasn't good enough, (it is mostly wealthy, white, smart older men) . Even though the meet up is for all people who are into iOS programming or want to learn. I'm more than qualified to go. I know that if i want to be successful i have to learn from others. Success can't be achieved in isolation. 

I talked to some of my FDR friends and to my sister about this problem. What eventually happened is that my fear went away once my anger kicked in. 

Why the fuck am I scared of going to a casual meet-up with other fellow programmers ? 

 

I understood intellectually that my parents put this shit in my head. 

I still doubted myself, my inner mother would deny all this. But i think after sharing this with allot of people around me that support me, it help to validate my anger. 

I know some people might say you shouldn't need others to help you validate your anger but i disagree you need a support group to validate your feelings because without that you are susceptible to your inner parents. 

 

 

 

 

[Triumph]

Anger is to love as a shadow is to a light.  A person that loves nothing will never feel angry. 

 

I bring this up, because the truly damning thing that people do to you when they tell you not to get angry is to diminish the love you have for yourself or the object of your affection.  We get angry when someone attacks something we love.  That's natural, what is unnatural is to not get angry when that happens.

 

If I can be so bold as to give a tiny bit of advice, it is to concentrate on the things you love.  And let your emotions take their natural course when people attack those things.

[A__]

I really enjoyed reading this post. I'm so glad you got in touch with your anger and it helped protect you.

 

Awesome!