Dibble Posted October 21, 2014 Posted October 21, 2014 Hey I spotted a few similar topics in this section of the forums so I thought I'd try posting my own. After all this is the place I'm most likely to find a thinking specimen of the human race that I'm aware of. Name's Bianca. I stated I'm Dutch mostly to communicate my location rather than as an identity. I've been working on my issues (childhood emotional neglect mostly) for close to five years of which the past two years have been the most intense. First a bit of the usual stuff: Languages spoken: Dutch and English with a little German on the side. I have a lot of interests and hobbies such as drawing/painting, reading/writing, horseback riding, clay casting and I do a few hours of volunteer work every week (gardening at a farm which is the home base of an organization that offers group transportation to low income elderly and people with disabilities). I also love gaming, computers and the internet. Aside from that I love browsing second hand stores, book stores (love em!) and visiting flea markets. I currently work in IT at an insurance company but I'm planning on starting an on-line store which would be close to a charity shop, basically reselling my flea market finds and some of my original work. Part of the income will go to various charities (I'm sure we can cut FDR in somehow ). Due to my parents never having bothered to open a book on parenting long enough to read past the introduction I have emotional neglect issues like little empathy for myself and social awkwardness. This made me an easy target for bullies both in school, at home and beyond which has made me cautious around people I've never met before. I'm working on developing my own 'wants' as before I simply didn't have any (that is, any that weren't in line with those around me). One of the ways I'm working on that is by undertaking more activities outside the house like regularly planning trips to events like markets and soon a medieval fair (where I'll actually be dressing up because I wanted to ). I've had 1 (count them) relationship so far when I was 26 which was an enormous mistake on my part. The man I chose appeared to be confident and to know what he wanted out of life (exactly the things I lacked). When I came closer it turned out that the complete opposite was true. He was extremely clingy and dependent and wondered aloud why this radiant being would choose to spend time with him, some peasant crawling around in the muck (seriously that's what he said). Being anything but confident (or radiant for that matter) myself there was no way this was going to turn out good so after only two months I called an end to it. After that I became even more confused about people and relationships (how can you ever truly know a person well enough to date them?) so I went back to not dating. I spent some time trying to figure out if I had seen red flags but not noticed them. I'm now a lot better at recognizing facades and, having been an FDR listener for a few years now, have a keener eye for red flags in general. I've been in talk therapy for a while but found that talking didn't necessarily help me but maybe I just didn't have the right connection with the therapist in question. Currently I'm doing Haptotherapy which is dealing with touch/proximity stuff and also includes exploring damage done in the past to an extent. Aside from that I'm starting an NLP practitioner course early 2015 which'll be 16 days and I'm guessing it'll be pretty intense. I've done two courses in 'body work' before and a course in assertiveness/personal effectiveness which showed me that I'm actually a lot more capable than I used to give myself credit for. Uhm...what else. I'm 5ft7 and of a 'healthy' build. Brown hair, gray eyes and with a voice not unlike Ayn Rand except without the accent Oh and I don't smoke... I don't drink either unless it's a social occasion. I'm fairly calm and I don't tend to draw attention to myself. My past has made me more of a listener and observer which before was a pure necessity though I still find it useful for less-survival driven occasions. You learn a lot by simply listening. The photo was taken during my holiday in Bristol last August. My friend surprised me, hence the wide eyed expression That's it for now! **BELOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR** As pointed out I hadn't actually said anything about who I'm looking for. Slight oversight on my part. Since I'm fairly new to relationships as a whole I'm looking for someone who's willing to be patient with me as I learn the ropes. They should be 35 years and up. I'm looking for someone who's interested in building a future together and raising another member of the new peaceful generation. I'd like someone who's calm like me, down to earth, good humored, patient as mentioned above and maybe a little stubborn. Someone who enjoys similar activities, ignores newspapers and dislikes watching TV. An affinity with creativity is not required but would probably help 7
Dibble Posted October 23, 2014 Author Posted October 23, 2014 If you're reading this but not interested I'd still like to ask for some feedback on what more information I could provide, etc. I'd like to be as clear as possible. 1
Dylan Lawrence Moore Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Sure I would be interested. Holland is just... really far away. I'm still waiting for the FDR team to launch the freedomaincupid.com site. I think it's awesome that there's a space where people can create personals where some of the main components are childhood upbringing, receptivity toward self-knowledge, and emotional well-being/development. One thing it looks like is missing, is that it's not exactly clear what you're looking for in a male. Everything else looks great. 1
Dibble Posted October 23, 2014 Author Posted October 23, 2014 I'm still waiting for the FDR team to launch the freedomaincupid.com site. Is that actually going to be a thing? Probably not, but it's fun to dream. I guess you're right about not having defined what I'm looking for. I guess I was too busy explaining who I was first I'll sort this out asap.
ribuck Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 If you're reading this but not interested I'd still like to ask for some feedback on what more information I could provide, etc... Dibble, I think you've described yourself and expressed your hopes and plans very effectively. The only thing I suggest is to mention which languages you speak - if there's more than English and Dutch that would broaden your market. You sound like a lovely person who is well positioned to make a positive future life. If I wasn't married, I'd be responding for sure. Best Wishes for your quest!
Dibble Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 Dibble, I think you've described yourself and expressed your hopes and plans very effectively. The only thing I suggest is to mention which languages you speak - if there's more than English and Dutch that would broaden your market. You sound like a lovely person who is well positioned to make a positive future life. If I wasn't married, I'd be responding for sure. Best Wishes for your quest! Hi Ribuck Thanks for the compliment. Unfortunately Dutch and English are the only languages I speak with any confidence. I know a bit of German and French but not enough to speak it. I'll add the languages though as it'll help clear up the issue.
eschiedler Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I met a nice man who speaks English and Danish and has lived in Denmark and Switzerland. He's on this board. If you want I can point him to your post. I think not living in the same area is tough on a relationship but if you meet more people throughout Europe on this board you can "network" and socialize to meet someone suitable through friends.
Dibble Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 I met a nice man who speaks English and Danish and has lived in Denmark and Switzerland. He's on this board. If you want I can point him to your post. I think not living in the same area is tough on a relationship but if you meet more people throughout Europe on this board you can "network" and socialize to meet someone suitable through friends. Hi Eschiedler. That'd be great, thanks I've been meaning to join the EU call but so far I haven't managed it. I will some day soon, though. And maybe there'll be a EU meeting some time to join. Who knows?
Bedouin Posted November 27, 2014 Posted November 27, 2014 Hi Eschiedler. That'd be great, thanks I've been meaning to join the EU call but so far I haven't managed it. I will some day soon, though. And maybe there'll be a EU meeting some time to join. Who knows? Have you tried FDR meetups ? http://www.meetup.com/Freedomain-Radio/
Dibble Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 Have you tried FDR meetups ? http://www.meetup.com/Freedomain-Radio/ Hey Yeah, I signed up for the nearest one to where I live but it's pretty dead.
Matt D Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Hi Dibble, Were I ten years older I think we'd hit it off smashingly. Regarding someone's comment about a dating site, I used to think there just weren't enough women in FDR for it to work but I've since reconsidered that assumption. Meetups are a good place to start if you have one near you. Location isn't that big an issue for me so it would be nice to open up the door to more options. I could see a subforum with these types of posts being useful to people. Dr. Love is in the house. *raised eyebrow*
Dibble Posted December 18, 2014 Author Posted December 18, 2014 Hi Dibble, Were I ten years older I think we'd hit it off smashingly. Regarding someone's comment about a dating site, I used to think there just weren't enough women in FDR for it to work but I've since reconsidered that assumption. Meetups are a good place to start if you have one near you. Location isn't that big an issue for me so it would be nice to open up the door to more options. I could see a subforum with these types of posts being useful to people. Dr. Love is in the house. *raised eyebrow* Hey Matt I'm still waiting on an equivelant of FDRating.com I considered building a dating site myself but ran in to so much legal and tax law nonsense (think they're trying to prevent entrepeneurialism much? ) I might have to settle for a page on Facebook I am a part of two European/Nordic FDR Facebook groups but that somehow doesn't seem like the right place to post personal adds.
kikkakutonen Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Now I will admit that I say this a few months into 31 years myself, and I wouldn't go as far as to call it hurtful, more presumptuous, that a man under 35 years of age could not be holding himself to the same standard of accountability and integrity as you do, and thus, incapable of loving She probably wasn't thinking that way. I'd guess she's just acknowledging that a guy her age can still get a woman ten years younger or so, and would probably be inclined to try.
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