son272 Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 I keep hearing how important the first five years of a child's development are, and that proximity to great parents in that time is crucial. Can someone point me to a couple prominent sources on this? I need a book or two to share with a family member who is considering leaving her infant with a nanny all day, while she and her husband work full time.
karin Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. by Dr. Laura Markham Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn Parenting by Proxy: Don't have them if you wont raise them & In Praise of Stay At Home Moms by Dr. Laura Schlessinger These are kind of 'stick it to you' books, so may not be received well. Born Reading- Jason Boog (This one tells how to interactively read with your baby and toddler) Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by j. Kabat-Zinn My review is here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/453126204 What's Going on in There?: How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot This one i haven't read, but the title sounds like what you are looking for. goodreads reviews here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/145102.What_s_Going_on_in_There_ This may be more for your own use. Many people aren't that thrilled about being told not to go back to work. You may get the book tossed back in your face. But good luck!
Kaylee Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I frequently refer acquaintances to the Zero to Three and Attachment Parenting websites. I'm almost at the point where I want to print out fliers from zero to three to hand out at playgroups Jehova's Witness style (hah). Neither of the sites come straight out and say it's better for you to stay home with your child, unfortunately. However, they do mention that if you are going to have a nanny, for the sake of the child, at least pick someone who will be there the entire time through the early years. Being factually informed is important, but I think connecting on an emotional level is more important to the discussion. Personally, I have yet to meet a parent who looks back on their lives and wishes they had spent less time with their children and more time at work. Being a stay-at-home mom myself I can tell you it can be trying. It's easy to feel undervalued, lonely and bored. It can feel like outside of raising children, you will not be left with enough time or energy to accomplish your dreams. Career-oriented females may try to make the stay-at-home moms feel like garbage, and goodness only knows what 'peers' do to stay-at-home dads. Money worries could be causing a huge amount of stress. Maybe with a better understanding of what they are going through, you can better help these parents. I know whenever I waver, I just imagine what my spare time would look like with children and a career. My weekends would not be filled with fun time with my husband and daughter, but instead with shopping for groceries, chores, errands, bleh. Add that with the depressing fact that nannies won't help with any of the chores, plus they'll do a much worse job of interacting with my children than I will while doing chores (I meet a *lot* of nannies at various groups, and have yet to see one I'm impressed by). Well, lets just say it changes my mind in a hurry. Best of luck to you! Make good!
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