aFireInside Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 Does the way you dress affect your confidence or self-esteem? The reason I'm mentioning this is because a couple of months ago i threw away most of my cloths. I didnt like the way i dressed, i use to have a bunch of T-shits that i couldn't relate to anymore. Most of them where music T-shirts. I noticed I didnt have any nice cloths, recently i started buying more dress shirts including polos and casual/formal shirts. I also started buying some dress pants and dress shoes. Im felling some resistance when it comes to wearing nice cloths. Its not enough resistance to stop me but its something i noticed. The reason I decided to start wearing more casual / formal cloths is because i still wore pretty much the same style of cloths that i did in high school when i use to hang around toxic people. I never really got to think about what type of cloths i actually liked. I found it scary that although i took these toxic people out of my life I still dressed like them. When i started taking myself and my goals seriously I automatically started looking at the way I present myself. The way I dressed reflected the way i thought in a sense. 1
Dibble Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I used to wear lots of t-shirts and run-down stuff when I was in my mid twenties. I was pretty depressed and didn't care much for my appearance. When I started getting a bit more confident I started caring about what I wore more as well. I too got rid of a lot of old stuff and started wearing nice things. I didn't dress radically different but I would make small, gradual changes. Those changes were parallel to how I was feeling about myself. The more confident I got the better the clothes I wore and dared to wear because part of the reason why I always dressed down when I was still feeling depressed was for fear of attracting attention to myself. 1
villagewisdom Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 It sounded like you answered your own question there. Though it may be the chicken and the egg.
dsayers Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 The reason I decided to start wearing more casual / formal cloths is because i still wore pretty much the same style of cloths that i did in high school when i use to hang around toxic people. I never really got to think about what type of cloths i actually liked. I found it scary that although i took these toxic people out of my life I still dressed like them. This sounds like you're trying to correct a problem before identifying it as being a problem. With 7 billion people on the planet, you're bound to be dressed like some of them no matter how you dress. It doesn't mean you're like those people, or that people can be categorized by their manner of dress. I only bring this up because some people change their manner of dress because they're motivated to change SOMETHING. Not saying this is true of you, nor do I think it is. But I don't think it's as important to distance yourself from toxic people by way of your clothes as it is by way of your thoughts and actions. That's said, there's nothing wrong with such a large change or such a sudden one as long as you're aware of WHY you're doing it. People for better or worse will judge other people first by their appearance since that is usually the first information they get about them. So there's nothing wrong with presenting yourself a certain way if it's not meant to manipulate others. 1
aFireInside Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 This sounds like you're trying to correct a problem before identifying it as being a problem. With 7 billion people on the planet, you're bound to be dressed like some of them no matter how you dress. It doesn't mean you're like those people, or that people can be categorized by their manner of dress. I only bring this up because some people change their manner of dress because they're motivated to change SOMETHING. Not saying this is true of you, nor do I think it is. But I don't think it's as important to distance yourself from toxic people by way of your clothes as it is by way of your thoughts and actions. That's said, there's nothing wrong with such a large change or such a sudden one as long as you're aware of WHY you're doing it. People for better or worse will judge other people first by their appearance since that is usually the first information they get about them. So there's nothing wrong with presenting yourself a certain way if it's not meant to manipulate others. The way I use to dress in the past was to survive and fit in . I'm comparing myself to very specific people I use to hang out with, not to toxic people in general . If I would do that I think I wouldn't be able to wear anything at all .
Nathan H. Hoffner Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I recommend trying out local goodwills / thriftshops, especially in "richer" areas. You can make some great finds from time to time on nice name brand stuff, like Banana Republic, etc. Something I wish I would have starting doing many years ago; I could have saved tons of money. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes This guy agrees ^ 3
shirgall Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 The way your dress and prepare yourself is a part of "reframing" which is an important way to set the stage for yourself before doing something. For example, when you prepare to take a test, try to replicate the conditions under which you will take the test for the best results. Another aspect of how you dress affects how other people will treat you. If you look out of place, people will treat you differently than if you blend in. If you stand out in a good way, it has another effect. In the 80s I had to wear a suit to work every day. Nowadays a suit is often only needed for interviewing and formal night on cruise ships. 1
Bipedal Primate Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 I wear cashmere and designer clothing from Nordstrom, Barneys, and Saks by default. :-p Every piece of clothing I own is from Goodwill. When I lived in Atlanta, I would go to the goodwill in Buckhead near the Governor's Mansion, most of their stuff is designer, with Tags! I refuse to go to a mall and pay $60 for a sweater when I can find one for $3 at Goodwill. Shopping at Goodwill has been so much fun. I have definitely tried out different styles due to the cheap cost. I now have a really nice collection of office suits and conservative outfits all 'Banana Republic' (from goodwill). I agree with Nathan, Banana Republic clothing is excellent office wear. I recommend trying out local goodwills / thriftshops, especially in "richer" areas. You can make some great finds from time to time on nice name brand stuff, like Banana Republic, etc. Something I wish I would have starting doing many years ago; I could have saved tons of money. This guy agrees ^
Sal9000 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 The connection between presenting yourself and the way how you feel is bidirectional. When you feel bad, you will crouch and have a bad posture. The reverse is true too. When you are in a bad posture you will feel bad. You can check this hypothesis in four minutes. Walk around for two minutes with hunched shoulders and your pelvid pushed forward. Then walk around for the next two minutes with a good posture (feet parallel under the pelvis, straight shoulder). Note the difference. When you feel bad chances are high you pick ugly clothes. Ugly clothes however can make you feel bad too.
Blackfish64 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I always feel and think better when I dress well. Even at home, getting up in the morning and getting set to start reading and writing, I always dress for work. It sets my head straight for what I am about to start doing. Just as when I am going to paint a fence, I don't wear a suit, but an old T-shirt and work jeans, work boots, and even that I make it look as good as possible. Even doing dirty work, I do it better and feel better about doing it when I am dressed for it. If I look like crap, I feel like crap. I always look appropriate when going out in public; polo, slacks, shoes clean and polished, clean cap and sunglasses for protection from the sun. The sunglasses are also for people watching. Being a writer, I learn a great deal and write a great deal about people I see and meet. It's good practice, a good way to keep up the chops. It is always innappropriate to stare, so I need the sunglasses to keep people from knowing what I am looking at. I don't necessarily want people to take notice of me, but if they do, they might as well take away a good note.
hannahbanana Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I've been slowly phasing out my t-shirt dress to nicer clothes as well, through small trips to the thrift store now and then...It's really great. I do this mostly for public appearance, especially since I'm getting older and closer to a professional career. IMO, I think that dressing more nicely makes me feel more serious and work-oriented, but sometimes it's still nice to dress down into something more comfortable (especially when things get stressful ). I don't see why you can't do both. In regards to clothes reminding you of your past, I understand...it's a very similar thing for me with music; sometimes I'll hear a song I listened to when I was in a sad time of my life, and I feel an echo of that sadness...is it something like that for you?
Blackfish64 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Yes, follow the music! It's amazing how much certain songs mean in all areas of life. I have a journal specifically for following the music in my life. Every song, album, etc., that has affected me in any way... I write down the song, the artist, the date it was released, when I first heard it, and the event in my life to which I connect to that particular music. Music is everything! So glad I learned to play and to read music! As for dressing down. I did just that this morning. Not on purpose, but because I was in a bit of a hurry to complete a task. My wife is always pissing and moaning about the way I look. She can't stand me. She can't stand it when I wear a hat, even though the sun is blazing out-of-doors and I need cover, even though I am careful to wear a respectable looking hat that is spotlessly clean. I could walk out the door wearing a suit, and she wouldn't say something nice about my suit, rather she would complain and give me a dirty look that I wore it wrong or the tie was slightly crooked. I could give her a million dollars in cash this afternoon and she'd complain about the briefcase in which it was contained instead of thanking me for the million dollars. So, this morning, just because I wasn't in the mood to hear any of her nagging and complaining, I walked out the door in flip-flops (I hate flip-flops and only wear them in the hut), an old work T-shirt, and a pair of work pants with a paint stain on the right leg, the cuffs of which were dragging on the ground behind the flip-flops. She didn't say a word. It were as though she liked me that way. Very strange. I try hard to look my best and she does nothing but complain, but walk out the door looking like a pile of shit and she says nothing. Hmmmmmmm... Can you say, narcissist? Sure, I knew you could. "Oh, my, just look at me, how great I am! And look at him, my servant, my afterthought; well, we can't expect much from him, now, can we? Oh, dear. Oh, well." She needs a scapegoat. I wonder what she's going to do without me. I dress down also when I am just hanging around my hut, reading, etc. Sometimes wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. I think the trick is to always look and feel my best whenever possible. Even if I am going on a sweaty, long, stick walk, a rugged hike in the wilderness, looking the part puts me in the mood and I do better. It makes me want to do a thing even more.
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