This is Rather Sad

[CallMeViolet]

 Yet another one of my friends came out about being molested as a child. Including me this is eight people I've known who have been sexually used before the age of eight teen... I mention it because this is incredibly repulsive to me; I wonder why you don't see more about it in mainstream media... I feel like if they did something like child abuse awareness stuff on tv maybe it would make parents more aware at least... I don't know what exactly but I feel something more needs to be done to protect children from this monstrous act... Any ideas?

[J. D. Stembal]

We do actually hear about molestation in the mainstream media, but everyone justifies it with some form of nonsense. Take the example of the 16 year old male student in Louisiana who was molested by two female teachers at the same time (a rape gang bang). Look at the varied responses to the article in this thread: https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/42030-louisiana-male-teen-double-teamed-by-two-female-teachers/, and the HuffPo comments.

 

ST434U tries to justify it by saying it can't be rape if the victim was bragging, and then covers by saying age and sexual consent is a complicated issue.

 

LovePrevails makes a joke of it by asking if the two female teachers turned rapists are hot.

 

See where I'm going with this? Any instances of adults using their authority to sexually abuse children who are there involuntarily are written off as justifiable actions. If spanking is there to teach kids lessons about authority and dominance, rape and molestation are there for the purpose of sexual grooming. Attempting to raise social awareness won't help because the abusers will have already normalized this behavior if it was perpetrated unto them, and they will teach it to their kids in turn.

 

We already know all this as a society. Why do you think no one lets their kids out of sight unless they are in their beds, church, school, or daycare? They don't want strange people creeping in and exploiting their children, only approved abusers. The parents reserve the right to choose themselves the manner in which they inflict abuse on the children. In a twisted way, they think they are protecting them from future harm.

 

My next door neighbor was brutally beaten and raped by her father and his friends for years. She had a mother, and two older siblings. Who protected her? No one. Everyone was silent about it, including me.

[CallMeViolet]

Why?

[J. D. Stembal]

I'm sorry. I'm not sure what the question is.

 

I hope that you can connect with the eight other people who have suffered from sexual abuse. Instead of appealing to the mainstream media, perhaps you could organize a support group for the victims to talk in a safe environment?

[prolix]

I am going to go full "David Icke Full-Tilt Conspiracy" on the issue of child molestation. I have seen research that suggests that it is wide and deep in western culture and that it is somewhat organized. Really super sad if you think about it. It just can't be talked about, and like things that just can't be addressed, it just festers under the surface and rots and infects further into a culture. This community is the only significant ray of light in this abyss. Listening to the call in show really opened my eyes to how deep and inter-generational abuse is in culture today...

[MrCapitalism]

I have seen research that suggests that it is wide and deep in western culture and that it is somewhat organized.

DeMause has some good stuff on this idea.

 

http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/06a1_incest.html

[Blackfish64]

I think the best thing that can be done for victims is for ourselves not to be one of them.  I mean exactly that.  If you see someone being abused, never fail to do something about it.  I will do something about it even at expense to myself.  I will not tolerate anything like that around me any longer in my life.  Bullies and thugs need to be shut down and put out of business.    

 

It is a waste of time to empathize with victims, all alone, while there are no victims about.  The act makes ourselves susceptible and vulnerable.  And even when empathy is in order, it should be done thoughtfully.  It is better to be as healthy, strong, and wise as we can possibly be for them when they are around.  

 

The price of our health, of our well being, is eternal vigilance.  We don't get any days off from it.  I think that is the very nature of life itself.  I would agree with anyone who said there are a few too many abusers around.  That being said, don't ever be one of them.  First, do no harm.  First, if it can be helped, don't be a victim. 

[cynicist]

I feel like if they did something like child abuse awareness stuff on tv maybe it would make parents more aware at least... 

 

What makes you think they aren't aware?

[Blackfish64]

Exactly.  They know what they're doing is wrong or they wouldn't be trying so hard to hide it every time, i.e., conceal the bruises, tell the kid to shut up or else, etc. 

 

And television and mainstream media, while admittedly could have a powerful voice in the matter, is the worst place to start looking for help.  There are more pedophiles and child abusers in show business than you can shake a stick at.  Many, many, many child actors have come out of the dark to talk about their experiences of being raped maltreated by show biz folk.  It happens constantly. 

 

Likey the TV people don't do more to stop it -- because they're the ones doing it! 

 

Again,  I will place my emphasis on the healthy staying that way and the healthy teaching the victims how to get healthy and stay that way.  The goal is not to have empathy for victims, but to have healthy people.   

 

Emphathy for victims is a good thing in the proper place, i.e., in therapy and etc., where it is most desireable and necessary.  But when victims claim their victim status and we help them do it, it can be dangerous.  Often victims become bullies themselves, and make victims out of healthy people who are afraid to say and do the right thing around them because they have been victims. 

 

If you really want to help victims and empathize with them, become a dynamite therapist, for example.  Help pull them up out of their victimhood.

 

The plain truth of it is, once the hurt is done, it's done.  There's no taking it back.  That time and space is lost forever.  Victims often are taught they can make it all go away.  They can't.  Those memories are a part of their lives now, and will always be.  The best we can  do is help them to make sense of it all, and stop it from affecting their lives adversely.

 

Life is tough, even for healthy people.  Victims have the extra added tough-luck of having to deal with their past being a pain in the ass for them and hindering every good thing they try to do with themselves.  The therapist can help make that easier if he's worth his salt.