winterbliss Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Hello everyone. I recently began listening to Stef's show and became a big fan of the way he uses practical philosophy and psychoanalysis to describe the pathologies of our world and why we lack integrity. I'd like to know if you guys have an opinion on the subject of bringing honesty when trying to find people to work with. In companies I've been in there was mostly dysfunction covered to some degree when things are going good. By honesty I understand when asked for example: "what happend to the pervious job" instead of saying the technically true statement: "they told us currently the business doesn't allow much work for juniours", to say: "I think I failed in these ways due to this and that". I'm currently looking for a job as a programmer. I have a failed internship (my actual job was being a narcissistic supply to the guy who got me the job and inartistic supply to his other narcissistic supplys), quitted first year of studying IT specialty, have also studied political sciences(I needed to find a girlfriend and there we more chicks), worked in construction and sales for some time. I'm now in my mid 20s. So far I've presented my self only for my strong points and neither I or the interviewer wanted to dig into my past fails. I presented myself like a brochure of good things, and tried to relieve the other side from the responsibility of hiring me when knowing in details all the negatives. I wonder if being honest and open about my mistakes will give me a better shot at finding a tolerable job. The default option was the formal(manipulative) approach, for witch I've read dozens of tips and tricks and have experience in sales so I kinda know my way in this. I consider being completely open and honest in hopes if I find a job, it will be with good open honest people. The work process wont be a competition amongst the employees and strive for surpassing the others around you and securing a dominating position. Taking technical discussions personally and fighting for a fragile ego.
powder Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 good post winterbliss, welcome. the word 'relationships' in 'work relationships' is key for me. I like all of my important relationships to be based on honesty and integrity. are you the kind of person who tries to cover up your mistakes and blame rather than assume responsibility and work to make things right? How do you handle pressure, adversity? If I am hiring, or working for someone, I like to know what kind of person I am engaged with. If the other person is not interested in sharing this kind of information I don't want to hire them, if they don't want to know what kind of person I am, I don't want to work for them. hope that helps.
ParaSait Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I got my first job recently at a small company (also in the field of programming), and I didn't put on any kind of masks during the interview. I was entirely honest, wasn't telling half-truths and wasn't sugar-coating any of my flaws. They could tell I was being honest and I could tell that they appreciated it. From this personal experience, I'd say be honest at all time, as in any other healthy human relationship. Being dishonest may get you a job perhaps, but then, keeping it is another thing...
dsayers Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Your honesty is like your property in that you don't owe it to anybody. You can give it out as you see fit. Withholding honesty can promote self-preservation in a number of scenarios and its important for people to break free from the indoctrination that honesty is a virtue and owed to everybody at all times. I used to be concerned that dishonesty during the commission of acquiring a job set me up for being fired later on. A friend I was discussing this with pointed out that if I impress whomever I'm working for, they won't be looking for a reason to fire me and that if they want to fire me, they'll find a reason even if they don't see a typo on your resume. I would try to keep it as honest as possible without sabotaging yourself. Sometimes the people they have conducting interviews are trained to spot dishonesty. Fortunately, the good ones understand that identifying WHY somebody lied about something is more important than the fact that they lied about it. I try to avoid platitudes, but just wanted to end with: Never gamble something you cannot afford to lose.
winterbliss Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 These were some of the most useful responses I've had on a forum. Thanks. You encouraged me with this and I agree with dsayers, a man of virtue doesn't own the truth to those who don't deserve it.
powder Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 These were some of the most useful responses I've had on a forum. Thanks. You encouraged me with this and I agree with dsayers, a man of virtue doesn't own the truth to those who don't deserve it. indeed, you don't owe anyone honesty. It is certainly wise in the light of self-preservation to withhold information say from a would be assailant or thief for example. I would hope that my work relationships would not be subject to this kind of maneuvering. good luck.
winterbliss Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 My honest cover letter got me an interview. The interviewer was kinda humble in the way stef is, with his - "I can be wrong" or "I just threw that as something to think, as a particular way of thinking is what we are looking for". He also assured me they won't judge me for my lack of diploma. The boss also seemed quite rational and very different from the kind of narcissistic/psychopathic neurotic bosses I've seen in the past. He also was a fan of Atlas shrugged witch I found when I stalked him on fb. May be that last nitpick was because I have the dysfunctional urge to stretch things to the realm of magic.
winterbliss Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 They actually hired me and are investing money and time of the most valuable team member to train me. I'm doing my best to minimize the subconscious manipulation and do my part of a healthy relationship and it's going pretty well. I feel some issues with the team, but I suppose there's no company to trade up to, unless I become Stef's employee.
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