Finally Letting Go

[Jamesican]

Hi, so, I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this. Anyway, I'm in my teens and have been attending a Catholic school since I was born. I recently became an Atheist, but I'm still having trouble fully "leaving", if you will. Any advice?

(Sorry if I don't respond immediately. I've run out of posts for the day, and I don't know how that works. I'm a newbie.)

[Pepin]

First I'd like to praise you for thinking about a subject which is so very difficult to think about when you are "raised" religious. I don't think people understand the strain and mental effort you have to overcome in order to start thinking clearly about the subject. Even if you always had doubts, it must of put a large strain on your relationships.

 

Can you provide more details on your situation? How many years till you graduate? How does this relate to your family? What would their reaction be? How do you feel being around religious people? Pretty much a general rundown of your thoughts and desires.

[hannahbanana]

Hi Jamesican! I can relate, I also went to Catholic schools for 15 years. I was on the fence/agnostic starting my 3rd year in high school, and only felt able to fully call myself an atheist 3 years later. What are the most difficult things for you to face? For me, it was hard to let go of the idea that there was something more than what you just see, some "higher power" or "spiritual energy." There was also the difficulty of getting my parents to accept the fact that I didn't want to go to church anymore. What about you?

[dsayers]

First I'd like to praise you for thinking about a subject which is so very difficult to think about when you are "raised" religious. I don't think people understand the strain and mental effort you have to overcome in order to start thinking clearly about the subject.

 

I remember the first time I even entertained the POSSIBILITY that there is no deity, I became terrified of being banished to hell and full of guilt for daring to defy "Him." I was in my teens, but still. Nobody has the right to inflict that sort of thing on a young person.

 

@Jamesican: I am very happy for you that you were able to overcome the indoctrination at such a young age. As for advice, could you provide more info like Pepin asked? And if you don't mind typing more, could you share how you came to overcome the indoctrination? How did you find FDR?

 

Thanks for sharing

[Blackfish64]

While your head is still all wrapped up in the old way of thinking, you will struggle. Cut yourself lots of slack and keep the right info coming in. You'll be fine.

 

As a boy, I was always at odds with god. I mean, all these starving children, wars, violence, and other nonsense about... why doesn't he get his lazy arse down here and do something about it? What's he waiting for? God sure is one lazy, worthless, son-of-a-bitch. If I had all the power, I'd feed the kids. Of course. What a morose, stupid, cruel, insane, sadistic bastard we have for a god. I could do a better job than this freak any day of the week.

 

Well, as you can see, he's never showed up, never lifted a finger to anything.

 

I was so wrapped up in this nonsense for so long that the thought of god not even existing never occurred to me. And when I finally realized that is the case, I went, 'Oh, what a relief. I can just go ahead and do things my way, after all (I always did anyway, but now the fear and guilt was lifted off me and I was finally SAVED!). God and all the godsters can go hang.'

 

I raged against god my whole life, even when I believed in him. Always wanted to kill that bastard. In a sense, I did just that. I won the war, as I always knew I would.

[J. D. Stembal]

I don't remember ever believing in a deity. I may have believed in the existence of Santa Claus for a year or two, but I quickly became suspicious that he was a fake. A kid in school would say, "Santa's not real and I can prove it." All you have to do is find where your parents hid the presents, then on Christmas Day, see which ones are tagged "From Santa". You've caught your parents in a lie.

 

As I reached middle school, my parents went to church less frequently. It was mostly a Easter/Christmas Mass twice a year pilgrimage, unless we also visited any of my parent's siblings who were all devout Christians. I remember sitting in the pew with my parents and thinking how ridiculous everyone was being for singing about Jesus. I did not sing along with them. Eventually, we stopped going to church entirely. Since then, I've only been in churches or temples for wedding ceremonies.

 

I can't remember ever telling my parents that I don't believe in god, but the conversation also never came up. If I told them today that I was an atheist, it might not surprise them very much.

[NotDarkYet]

I feel your pain.

 

It takes time for the brain to quiet that fictional character.

 

It doesn't instantly disappear from your guilt-reflex when you realize he's not real.

[PGP]

Jamesican, I must say, well done!!! Not an easy thing to do. I was brought up RC in RC schools in an RC country. I stopped with the whole ritual at about 13 yo wit some minor relapses but it's hard to get away from even still. I have always found that when things get tough, the temptation to turn back to religion and Jebus is there. Wouldn't it be great not to have to think!!!

No, it wouldn't, it would be "hell". Once religion went, the rest follows yay verily unto the state and nationalism and all the rest.

Hold fast and fill your mind up with the great thinkers and be very careful who you surround yourself with and listen to, including the media you consume. Slowly it will disappear in the rear-view mirror. 

[tasmlab]

I'd suggest reading a few books.  It sounds like it is simple enough to abandon a bad belief and be done with it, but sometimes research can help you think things through.

 

Sam Harris' "The End of Faith" is an absolute delight to read.  I've read it twice.  As is his "Letter to a Christian Nation"

 

I enjoyed Dawkins "God Delusion"

 

Carl Sagan's "Science as a candle in the Dark" is decentish.

 

And Stef has one, On Truth I think.  I own it but haven't gotten around to reading it.

BTW, Amazon's used book store is awesome.  You can get popular books usually for just a few bucks each.

[Blackfish64]

Christopher Hitchens "God Is Not Great."

Penn Jillette "God No!" And "Every Day Is An Atheist Holiday."

I've found that being atheist isn't enough. I am rabid antitheist. Let me put it this way: not only is god not great, but its been extremely bad for careless humanity to take on such a ridiculous idea and perpetuate it. God is simply a blank check on anything goes. God is a cartoon character and all of its authors write their own reflection in the scripts. God is very bad news.

[Joel Richard]

I found all of Stefan's books to be the deal maker for me.  Read them all.  Don't waste too much time in limbo, it will hurt you.  

[DCLugi]

Whenever I hear about the turmoil this puts people through I feel so grateful to have been spared this kind of anguish. My next thought is "What am I currently adhering to that might be completely wrong and if so am I willing to give it up"

[Joel Richard]

Christopher Hitchens "God Is Not Great."

 

Penn Jillette "God No!" And "Every Day Is An Atheist Holiday."

 

I've found that being atheist isn't enough. I am rabid antitheist. Let me put it this way: not only is god not great, but its been extremely bad for careless humanity to take on such a ridiculous idea and perpetuate it. God is simply a blank check on anything goes. God is a cartoon character and all of its authors write their own reflection in the scripts. God is very bad news.

It took me a long time to reach this conclusion and I felt that Richard Dawkins was being cruel in his attacks on the religious. Now I'm less certain. But he is pretty relentless.