Addiction to thinking about cars

[winterbliss]

Hello everyone. I'm having some sort of addiction to thinking about cars and dreaming of buying one. Actually my last depression 8 months ago ended with me finding an interesting car for sale witch I calculated I can have with only few months of savings if I work. I've read In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts and the way some of Gabor's patients talk about their addictions reminds me of how I feel. In the book it's said that passion is a spark that leaves you motivated and inspired and addiction is a fire that burns and destroys and leaves you drained. This is how I feel after spending 4 hours of reading in forums inconsequential details for cars I'm not really that interested in in first place. I'm going to moderately benefit from a car and buying one that I consider decent isn't beyond reach if I could just concentrate on beginning a career as a programmer. In a way I see the car coming first. Working good job with good people - after that. If I actually get it, I think I'll feel empty and entertained for two weeks, after witch I'll forget buses and know gas stations and park problems. A company may give me a shot soon, but every time it seems may be I'll make it, I'm very tempted to think about cars again and leave my preparations for work. How dysfunctional do you think all this is and how should I approach the problem?

[Jamiroquai]

 

Hello everyone. I'm having some sort of addiction to thinking about cars and dreaming of buying one. Actually my last depression 8 months ago ended with me finding an interesting car for sale witch I calculated I can have with only few months of savings if I work. I've read In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts and the way some of Gabor's patients talk about their addictions reminds me of how I feel. In the book it's said that passion is a spark that leaves you motivated and inspired and addiction is a fire that burns and destroys and leaves you drained. This is how I feel after spending 4 hours of reading in forums inconsequential details for cars I'm not really that interested in in first place. I'm going to moderately benefit from a car and buying one that I consider decent isn't beyond reach if I could just concentrate on beginning a career as a programmer. In a way I see the car coming first. Working good job with good people - after that. If I actually get it, I think I'll feel empty and entertained for two weeks, after witch I'll forget buses and know gas stations and park problems. A company may give me a shot soon, but every time it seems may be I'll make it, I'm very tempted to think about cars again and leave my preparations for work. How dysfunctional do you think all this is and how should I approach the problem?

 

 

I think it is only a harmful addiction if it interferes with your work life, which it has if I've understood your post correctly.

 

I'm also a massive car enthusiast, so I think I know what you're going through. Before I got my car, one of my favorite things to do was to scour sites like bimmerforums to read up on the car I was looking at (my first car was an e36 325, if you know what that is). If I wasn't doing that, I was on Autotrader trying to find pretty much any car in my price range that struck my fancy. After a while I started dumping more and more time into this, and it never really subsided until I finally got my car.

 

From what it sounds like, your obsession doesn't seem to be a huge problem right now, and I wouldn't really consider it an addiction. Personally, I would suggest buying a car  with cash and within your means. A word of caution, though. Once you buy the car, your obsession will probably turn to reading about your particular car and what mods you can make to it. I must have dropped at least 2k into my first car when I had it (ahh, how nice it was to have extra cash and no rent back then). 

 

Sorry if I started to talk about cars instead of your predicament, as you can see it's not a habit that's easy to kick. Now that I re-read your post, it seems you might be thinking about buying the car before you get the job, and I would strongly urge you not to do so...work as a programmer is slim pickens pretty much everywhere, and the last thing you need is a car note to pay with no money coming in.

 

I apologize if that wasn't a very helpful post, I seemed to have drifted off track a few times (lame pun intended).

[TheSchoolofAthens]

Thank you for those details. There are a lot of potential questions, but I want to start with this one:
Why are you obsessing over cars? That is, what do you think the root of it all is?

Another question I have: is the car a symbol of power or success?

[Wuzzums]

After you mentioned starting a career my instinct makes me ask the question: Is your car obsession a bonafide obsession or is it avoidance?

 

Do you think about cars all day or does the thought come in pairs like you're first wondering about your career/job prospects then find yourself browsing car forums?

 

For instance, if you were obsessed about cars you would've probably picked a job closer related to cars or a job that would enable you to own lots of cars. If it's avoidance then you buying or not buying the car won't fix it, you'll just find another distraction. I know I do this all the time. Whenever I have something to do that I don't particularly enjoy or that is very dull, about 10% of the time it takes me to finish the work is actual work and the other 90% is avoidance (like compulsively checking e-mails, forums, youtube, PORN, etc).

 

So what can you do about it if it is indeed just avoidance? Aside from forcing yourself through sheer willpower, you can replace your habit with something more productive (like exercising, yoga, etc).

[TheSchoolofAthens]

I like what Wuzzums is saying, are you avoiding responsibility? That is something I personally struggle with, it makes sense to me but what are your thoughts about that winterbliss?

[winterbliss]

Thanks for the interest in my topic. I have a bunch of numbers in my mind and I feel compelled to compare them in my mind. Torques, power to weights and a ton of other stuff. "That car with that engine must feel terrific compared to my dad's". I see a car as a partner and a capable tool in the right hands. I suppose I'm one of those who couldn't bond with people much as children and "bond" with objects instead. When I'm most secure feeling in my programming and motivation for work, I begin to shift my motivation and look forward to the car. In a way the interest kinda retreats if it doesn't have a productive opportunities to interfere. The more I feel I can actually have the thing pretty soon, the more I'm worried about the work in the firm till then, as I'll be effectively an intern under critical watch possibly. If avoiding responsibility is wasting time trying not to feel like s*it because I've wasted so much time so far, I think that's now not the case. As also I don't feel the status and power thing at all. But I think I want a "beefy car" because I'm kinda skinny and have been dominated in all sorts of ways when younger. @Jamiroquai Nice car, RWD uncompromised engine and layout. I was dreaming of a V6 Audi 80, but 92 Astra F 2.0 will be more fit to my position and a good stepping stone to something multi valve V6. I'm not a hipster, these are common cars ages in eastern Europe    

[TheSchoolofAthens]

Thanks for the interest in my topic. I have a bunch of numbers in my mind and I feel compelled to compare them in my mind. Torques, power to weights and a ton of other stuff. "That car with that engine must feel terrific compared to my dad's". I see a car as a partner and a capable tool in the right hands. I suppose I'm one of those who couldn't bond with people much as children and "bond" with objects instead. When I'm most secure feeling in my programming and motivation for work, I begin to shift my motivation and look forward to the car. In a way the interest kinda retreats if it doesn't have a productive opportunities to interfere. The more I feel I can actually have the thing pretty soon, the more I'm worried about the work in the firm till then, as I'll be effectively an intern under critical watch possibly. If avoiding responsibility is wasting time trying not to feel like s*it because I've wasted so much time so far, I think that's now not the case. As also I don't feel the status and power thing at all. But I think I want a "beefy car" because I'm kinda skinny and have been dominated in all sorts of ways when younger. @Jamiroquai Nice car, RWD uncompromised engine and layout. I was dreaming of a V6 Audi 80, but 92 Astra F 2.0 will be more fit to my position and a good stepping stone to something multi valve V6. I'm not a hipster, these are common cars ages in eastern Europe    

If I were you, I'd get a Prius or an Insight. I drive a 2003 Honda Civic because it is a reliable car, maintenance is cheap, and it's fuel efficient. You can certainly drive whatever car you want, but I think Toyotas and Hondas are two of the smartest options. 

 

You said quite a bit of important stuff in there, but there was a lot of fluff. The details about your dream car aren't nearly as important as what you said here: I see a car as a partner and a capable tool in the right hands. I suppose I'm one of those who couldn't bond with people much as children and "bond" with objects instead.

 

I really want to see you make progress, but in order for that to happen, we got to talk about that. You deserve a happy life, so please expand upon that!

[winterbliss]

Thanks for posting again. I was beginning to think I repelled you with my last reply and even considered starting a topic "getting rid of dysfunctional habits in communication" or something. 

Since my second post the compelling to waste time in daydreaming kinda lost power and I didn't expect that, as I've spend hours thinking about the issue. In a way you helped me by being someone I can write to. My interest has other sides, but in the brief moment I "address the thought" in my mind, an image like an icon "appears", some detail from the interior for example and I feel something like a warmth or joy. Sometimes the "current state of the dream" switches to some other not very reasonable car, but still gives that feeling when it's possible I'll be able to buy it in reasonable future. Getting a taxi, to go and ask the doctor something seems quite not right, but only if I had my own car, I'd be happy to deal with every otherwise exhausting issue. When working my last job with very dysfunctional people, I was in a way supported by a picture of the snow, the car and even associated that feel with a certain music. BTW Nicholas, a gear head like me will take a 500 euros worth of hatchback with a torque-ish engine and be fine with it.

[Libertarian Prepper]

What does the car symbolize?

 

My obsessions with various things have always had a clear too cause (though it was seldom clear to me at first). For instance, I have had an obsession with backpacking and survival gear. I would count grams, read endless reviews of equipment, compare backpacks and sleeping bags and tents and everything. I'd make spreadsheets with lists and so on...

 

Turns out, I was afraid of homelessness. And most of my fantasies of an external apocalypse were reflections of an internal one that had already occurred (both in my childhood and up to this day). So you see I was projecting my fears and emotional reality into the world and onto a specific set of things.

 

So what is the car a projection of for you? If your experience is similar to mine that is.