Dealing With A Narcissist - Sweating Out The War Gunk

[dsayers]

Do you have any idea what you're talking about? What saying? I've never heard anybody say that force is a necessary evil. I know that the phrase necessary evil is both begging the question and mutually exclusive. I reject you claims that there's a time and place to discuss your experiences, that stifling the speech of others is necessary or "got to be done." You don't think yourself capable of error, do you?

[Blackfish64]

Do you have any idea what you're talking about? What saying? I've never heard anybody say that force is a necessary evil. I know that the phrase necessary evil is both begging the question and mutually exclusive. I reject you claims that there's a time and place to discuss your experiences, that stifling the speech of others is necessary or "got to be done." You don't think yourself capable of error, do you?

 

 

“a necessary evil and in its worst state an intolerable one” -- Thomas Paine

 

Never heard that before, eh? 

 

You had to use that force, that evil, to "draw down" on a guy on the job. 

 

Oh!  You don't think that's evil. 

 

You better think again.

 

But, in another sense, you are right, it don't got to be done.  We don't got to do a damn thing.  It's your choice. 

 

 

You can reject my claims so long as I am not your boss and we are not at work.  You can reject my claims so long as you are wasting your own time and not any of mine. 

 

 

It's not that I think myself incapable of error, it's that I wonder often if I can ever do anything without making a truckload of errors. 

[dsayers]

I don't think evil means what you think it means.

 

I don't think rejecting a claim means what you think it means.

 

I don't think you understand that quoting somebody saying something doesn't mean it's accurate. Which is an odd thing to miss considering you were using it in an attempt to refute my position, but anybody could then just quote my position and "prove" it to be accurate (by your standards) since it would occur in quote form.

 

I also think your willingness to subjugate others has led you to misunderstanding what a "boss" does. He sees to it that the business is run smoothly. This does not mean he owns his employees. This does not mean that he can render his employees' experiences invalid for the sake of his own comfort.

 

Fake humility is fake.

[Blackfish64]

Do you realize you're wearing a pink bunny suit?

[Blackfish64]

A horse has no udder, a cow can't whinny, up is down, and sideways is straight ahead. 

[Blackfish64]

For those of you dealing with a narcissist in your life, Spartan Life Coach did an amazing thing here in explaining how the narcissist always comes back to get more from old sources of supply and how they feed off sources of supply.  My wife is like this.  It's amazingly accurate how he describes her.

 

One of the things she does that makes me chuckle is when she comes to me, which she often does, asking advice on something.  She's not a very good thinker.  She's a confused, muddled mess most of the time, unable to walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, so she needs a little help on most things.  Now, this used to make me very angry and hurt, but now, knowing what I know about narcissistic behavior, it makes me laugh...  As I said, she often comes to me for advice on a personal or business matter, clearly befuddled as to what's going on and/or what to do about it.  I listen to her intently.  In a flash, I understand the problem and explain it to her and give her all options on how to handle it.  Most of her problems are easy.  She says nothing, not even a simple little, "thank you", and walks away.  The next day, or a couple of days later, whatever the case may be, we will be talking and she will bring up her subject once more, explain it back to me exactly as I explained it to her, and recite the course of action she has chosen.  She will sit there and explain the whole thing as though I had never heard it before, as if she had just thought all this up a few minutes ago, and then she stares at me as if to say, "Well, aren't you going to compliment me on my brilliant thinking and action?"

 

Now, this used to drive me to madness.  I would become indignant and enraged.  "What the fuck?  We just talked about this yesterday.  It was I who sat there and listened to you for a half hour on all of this and explained what could be done about it.  Now, you come back to me as though we had never spoken a word on this and act like it was all your idea.  What are you trying to do?  Are you screwing  with me?  Are you going to sit there and tell me you don't remember our conversation yesterday?  What, exactly, are you trying to pull?  Just yesterday, you were depressed and wondering what could be done about this, and now, today, with my words coming out of your mouth, you are on top of the world.  I don't understand you.  Why do you have to lie like this to try and make yourself look good and try to make me feel small and stupid?  What's your deal?"  At that, she just sits there and looks at me blankly, rolls her eyes, sighs, and changes the subject.  I used to cry about this.  Now, I just laugh.  Sometimes, I will overhear her at a dinner party explaining something I have explained to her in exactly the way I have explained it.  I just smile and ignore her.  

 

These days I refrain from even talking to her when I realize one of these episodes is about to come on.  I just tell her I'm busy, got other things to do, can't talk right now.  This leaves her depressed, barren, lost. 

 

The narcissist is a shell.  There is no one in there.  They do not understand you.  They merely mock and mimic what real people do.  You don't understand why they appear to be devoid of empathy, sympathy, affection, love, etc.  It is because you are filled with those things.  It is because that is what you are and that is precisely what they are not.  They get their supply of it from you.  They get how to act from you.  And it is an act.  They do not know how to act.  So they act like those around them.  They are like monkeys, simply mimicking what the other monkeys are doing so they can fit in with the rest of the world and not be found out and identified as the misfits and outcasts they really are.    

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, my wife likes to get her goods, her supply from me because I am different.  I like to think.  I like to solve problems.  I often can't help myself from trying to figure out just about anything people put in front of me.  No matter how hard the problem is, no matter how long it takes, I will dive into it and not come up for air until I find the solution.  Unfortunately, for her,  and any other narcissists who might come along in the future, I have thought my way into knowing that she is one of my problems and will soon enough be dealt with accordingly.  But that's another story for another time.  What I mean to point out here is that I am one of those in the next video posted below who Spartan Life Coach is talking about.  I often catch my wife mesmerized by my words, trying to ingest it all.  She might as well be walking on Jupiter.  She simply cannot do it.  And of course, like other weak and stupid people, she cuts me down for it, hiding the fact that she does not understand me, does not understand other people, does not understand the world around her, and she is cold and alone, like a hurt child, like an abused child.  People like this resort to shame, ridicule, and guilt, because they are feeling that way themselves, and they project what they feel onto others.  They can't bear it.  They have to get it off of them at any cost.  They feel better when they get everyone laughing at someone else, someone other than themselves.  Of course, they are too childish, small, stupid, and immature to realize that no one need be laughed at, ridiculed, guilted at all.  No one.  The narcissist does not understand this, after all, if no one is laughed at, shamed, guilted, mocked, and wrecked, how will the narcissist ever get a handle on things?  How will he ever be able to force others to give him supply?  For the narcissist, it is not a matter of doing the right thing or the wrong thing.  Right and wrong is determined exclusively by the narcissist.  And when it comes to getting a feed of supply, for him, for her, the narcissist-anything goes.  Literally, anything goes.  You are simply a tool for his use in getting that job done. 

 

Real people are the narcissists connection to reality, their only connection.  This is another reason they cling so tightly to their supply, why they become so violent at the prospect of losing supply.  They are screwed without it.  They cannot live life on their own.  They need people connected to reality to draw from in order to make it through life.  Without their supply, the narcissist is a helpless, hopeless disaster.