andrew21594 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 "Adolf" had a traumatic childhood which caused him to, in adult life, have a resting happiness level far below that of a mentally healthy person. He has an almost incessant urge to escape his state of mind. He tried some psychoactive drugs and they temporarily elevated his happiness level to a comfortable level. He uses soft drugs to increase his time-average happiness level at a moderate frequency. He inhales cannabis smoke about once every two weeks and takes an MDMA tablet every three or four months. The cannabis is not mixed with tobacco and the MDMA is pure, as determined by the results of a drug-testing kit. If you had been friends with Adolf for two years, would you want him to stop? Would you actually confront him to ask him to stop? In my opinion, the drug use is detrimental to his health in the long run. However, the short-term effects are remarkably positive. He has been almost continuously happy, more calm, less prone to bursts of anger and much, much more empathetic with others. All drugs have their dangers, and dependencies can make people do horrible things to other people. Is it up to us whether Adolf benefits in the long term or in the short term? If we ask him to stop, would we be overshadowing his childhood trauma? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirgall Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Any compulsion should be self-examined, be it to self-administer psychoactive stuff or play video games all day or anything else. Dopamine management is also an area that needs self-awareness. The two in combination are even more important to understand. Your friend should trust you enough to recognize your empathy and advice about his long-term physical and mental health to take your concern at face value and evaluate it. If that trust isn't there, I doubt you can have an impact. No one can say at such a distance as a message board if the trade-offs are worth it--or not worth it--for your friend. You are close to the situation and can help, but it's really up to your friend to figure out the best path for himself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaylorPRSer Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 "Is it up to us whether Adolf benefits in the long term or in the short term?" Interesting question. I imagine you would agree that trying to change someone is a fool's errand. That being said, I think planting seeds is different from investing in someone's change. I would commend anyone who asked Adolf, "have you considered that your drug use is a form of self-medicating." Depending on how receptive he is, then maybe go deeper, "what are some reasons you might need to self-medicate?" "Do you believe it's possible to heal in a long-lasting and sustainable way, so that you don't need the drugs?" "If we ask him to stop, would we be overshadowing his childhood trauma?" I'm not 100% on what you mean by overshadowing, but a personal story popped into my head. I've mentioned this here before, but 6 years ago my roommate hung himself at the very end of the school year. My parents were very set on me getting a summer job and working that summer. That didn't change when he died. I got fired from a restaurant job the following week and rather than take it easy on me, they harassed and bullied me until I got a job. I had made plans to go out of town the weekend I got fired and I was really excited about them because I felt so sad and wanted the escape. When I got fired my parents flipped out and yelled at me, implied I was lazy and made me stay home that weekend to find a replacement job. I brought this up with my therapist recently and she said, "I personally think that when someone is grieving an important loss, it should be up to them to decide how best to grieve it because when you aren't given the freedom to fully experience and process it, it shows up in unhealthy ways down the road." I wasn't given the freedom to grieve in the way I wanted, which included going out of town and staying in my room and crying for hours on end and it definitely bit me in the ass later on. I'd apply the same thinking to whatever trauma is causing someone to self-medicate. I don't know if you're overshadowing his childhood trauma, but you're definitely disrespecting it in that scenario. Some crazy and scary stuff will get brought up when you cease to self-medicate and it is up to that person to decide when AND how they deal with that trauma. That being said, I think it's great if you can plant some seeds that will at least get him considering going to therapy and facing that trauma with some guidance. Stef had a chat with a listener who was self-medicating by consuming an absurd amount of THC daily and at the end he advised him against quitting without a therapist because the trauma being medicated is no joke. When you stop self-medicating you very well may see an increase in suicidal thoughts, irritability, etc. You might need to get in your car or put a pillow over your head and scream more frequently. Emotions that flow out of trauma are scary. Be very careful when dealing with other people's traumas. Accept that you cannot heal someone else, but plant seeds that could guide them down the path of self-knowledge and healing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Better Future Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I never tell people what they should do. I generally provide information and express my concern. We really do need to do more to stop these traumatic childhoods from occurring. We could have avoided the war completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpahmad Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 could he get therapy while using the drugs? And then, see if the therapist has good enough strategies to replace the need of the drug? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Green Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 In my opinion, the drug use is detrimental to his health in the long run. However, the short-term effects are remarkably positive. He has been almost continuously happy, more calm, less prone to bursts of anger and much, much more empathetic with others. All drugs have their dangers, and dependencies can make people do horrible things to other people. Is it up to us whether Adolf benefits in the long term or in the short term? (No, this is would be up to Adolf. It is up to us to help him as much as we can.) If we ask him to stop, would we be overshadowing his childhood trauma? (It might be better to urge people to start something instead of stopping. So instead of urging someone to stop drugs, urge them to start therapy, which would hopefully get them to the point of realizing they should stop on their own, which is likely the only way it'd happen) What is your opinion that the level of Adolf's use is harmful based on? I would say it's always best to heal yourself if possible so you don't have to live with just treating symptoms but your friend's usage frequency seems very far from unhealthy (physically at least). (my opinion isn't based on rigid personal research but I've read a bit on it) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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