Homes Are For Healing

[Three]

The day after I moved into my new cottage, I experienced a good deal of sadness. After stopping to explore the feeling, this journal entry was the result as well as a rich 40 minute sob. 


From the cheap rent , the greater privacy, to the state of luxurious comfort that results from having a desk and a dresser, which is especially apparent after having typed in the awkward computer-in-the-lap position as well as having tackily stacked unstable towers of clothes on the closet floor for two years, there are many great things to say about my new living situation.

However, the change that is most valuable, even emotional, to me is the newfound quiet. So much of my life, has been spent in noise pollution, the kind of abrupt sonic bangs that keeps one is a state of perpetual fight or flight and stress and turns the home, a place ideally for healing and serenity, into a source of emotional dysregulation.

Sometimes it was my parents hysterically screaming at one another, sometimes it was my mom nuerotically ejecting derisive laughs like cannonfire throughout the home, always from her own inappropriate compulsive joke telling, or from her even more grating complaining and bitching that was about as easy to ignore as a tornado siren. Even more recently, at my old apartment, it was from moronic neighbors who either are too stupid to understand that bass travels through walls are too inconsiderate and selfish, as was the case with the neighbor below me.”

So, now that I’m experiencing such calm pleasure from the peaceful environment, I can’t help but feel agonizing grief see the long stand of memories spent in toxic noise. I desperately wish my 13,-22 year old self could have experienced this level of comfort when he needed a place to relax from all of the life transitions, such as moving out,  that are inherently really stressful. That I feel relief when I experience this level of quiet at all, as oppose to not thinking about it due to having grown up in peace is really ragic.  

Perhaps, the most painful thing about growing up in such a stressful environment is not the noise, but rather what’s underneath the noise, which is the lack of love and the sad reality that I was not important enough for my parents to just be quiet.
 

[shirgall]

Sometimes people get used to noise and they miss it so much it bothers them. People that have visited my rural environment comment on how quiet it can be.

 

In the heart of winter, though, you can hear the highway and the train that are only a couple miles away. *I* hear them, but my city cousins cannot.

 

But the other noises you mention, the yelling, the putting down... those are harder to run away from, and even harder for me not to propagate. I work on it.

 

http://mynoise.net/

 

There are peaceful noises you can add back into your environment, at least.

 

I totally get you 

[Three]

Sometimes people get used to noise and they miss it so much it bothers them. People that have visited my rural environment comment on how quiet it can be.

 

In the heart of winter, though, you can hear the highway and the train that are only a couple miles away. *I* hear them, but my city cousins cannot.

 

But the other noises you mention, the yelling, the putting down... those are harder to run away from, and even harder for me not to propagate. I work on it.

 

http://mynoise.net/

 

There are peaceful noises you can add back into your environment, at least.

 

I totally get you 

 

Thank you so much for the warm and thoughtful reply.

 

I really like the ice world

[AynRand]

I know the feeling so much. My parents would often yell at me, and when I moved to the university dorms no more yelling at me by my parents. One million times better. I think I heard Stef say in one of his podcasts something like "It's like when you pull your hand out of the fire and say wow it feels so much better away from the fire rather than in it."

[sagiquarius]

I'm choking up over here Joel because your post speaks to my current life circumstances.  A home should be a place of respite and recovery.  Thank you for sharing and I'm very glad to hear that you found a home in which you feel like you can rest.  I'm very much looking forward to that myself.  My you find continued peace and rest in your home

 

As for my future home.  Number 1 priority and requirement:  No shared wall or floor space!  I don't want to hear a single thump, slap, bing, nor bang from any nearby people.

[Three]

I know the feeling so much. My parents would often yell at me, and when I moved to the university dorms no more yelling at me by my parents. One million times better. I think I heard Stef say in one of his podcasts something like "It's like when you pull your hand out of the fire and say wow it feels so much better away from the fire rather than in it."

Right, right. I can certainly relate to that. The Stef quote and unfortunately the yelling. I'm glad you're doing much better!

 

 

I'm choking up over here Joel because your post speaks to my current life circumstances.  A home should be a place of respite and recovery.  Thank you for sharing and I'm very glad to hear that you found a home in which you feel like you can rest.  I'm very much looking forward to that myself.  My you find continued peace and rest in your home

 

As for my future home.  Number 1 priority and requirement:  No shared wall or floor space!  I don't want to hear a single thump, slap, bing, nor bang from any nearby people.

 

I hope you're able to enjoy that too! Thanks for commenting