Full House - The Epitome of Peaceful Parenting?

[MysterionMuffles]

 

I have fond memories of watching this show as a kid. I don't recall any time Danny Turner (Bob Saget) has ever hit any of his girls or yelled at them when they misbehaved. In fact, most of the conflicts that happened in the show weren't ever life threatening, the problems the family faced were usually cute inconveniences that were solved by a peaceful and rational sit down talk with the father.

 

I wonder...if this show was a good or bad thing to have in the mainstream amidst the reality of abusive parenting happening in the real world. I wonder if it had any effect on parenting by showing by example or if it was a fantasy to be scoffed at.

 

Personally for me--and I am just theorizing--I think it was shows like this that gave me any small hope or possibility that home life could have been better for me. To see wholesome values portrayed on TV, knowing at some level it was all just make believe, gave me the idea that maybe reality can mimick fiction. It always perplexed me why my parents, who were married and still together, couldn't do what a single father on TV could do and sit down with his kids to actually have a conversation with them about the problems they all faced together or individually.

 

The reason why I bring this show up is because I caught the last 10 minutes on TV by chance last week...

 

Even though I haven't seen the whole the episode, I can sense what had transpired in it:

 

DJ the oldest daughter had been working real hard in her role as Juliet in her school's production of Romeo and Juliet, and Stephanie the middle child had been working hard on a science fair project. At some point in the show, DJ ruined Stephanie's project by accident--and I believe the comedy came out of the fact that her project involved food and so DJ ate it. 

 

Stephanie was too upset to redo her project which prompted Danny to work all night and redo it for her.

 

The girls find Danny half asleep at the kitchen table, and Stephanie of course is thankful for what he had done, but still desires that he shows up at her science fair project, which incidentally takes place at the same time as DJ's play. Danny tries to cut a deal where he can go to Stephanie's science fair first to watch her get first prize, and drive straight to the play, but DJ complains that her character would be dead by the time her dad can stop by.

 

At this point, I think the girls take a bus to where ever their events take place because they also need time to set up before the events begin. Meanwhile, Danny is at home and goes to the toddler Michelle's room and intends to have her take a nap.

 

I knew that this show was mainly peaceful and respectful parenting, but he did display some selfishness that I found interesting. I don't know if it was right or wrong but he says, "Michelle sweetie, it's time to take a nap."

 

"But I'm not tired."

 

And very sweetly Danny says, "and daddy doesn't care. It's the middle of the afternoon and you need to nap."

 

I felt irritated by him ordering her around like that, even though it wasn't that aggressive, but it all turned around when he said, "tell you what. I'll take a nap with you so we can both get some rest."

 

He hops into bed with her and almost immediately he begins snoring, and Michelle pulls the blanket over him, kisses him on the forehead and says, "sleep tight, daddy."

 

Later, DJ and Stephanie come back home the same time and argue with each other, basically blaming each other for their dad not coming to either of their events.

 

"Dad totally missed my science fair because he went to your play!"

 

"No he didn't, he missed my play because he went to your stupid science fair!"

 

Then they pause and accept each other's words as truth. They begin to worry and wonder what happened to him. They start running around the house calling out for their dad and Michelle says, "can you guy please be quiet? Daddy is trying to sleep!"

 

He wakes up to his daughters hugging him and apologizing for demanding so much of his time and attention, and he has a little heart to heart talk with them about how much harder single fatherhood is really turning out to be---and at this point I just start to cry...

 

There was no blame on the children for exhausting him, he took full ownership for putting all his time and energy into helping them out with what they need. A part of me says, "I wish I had that." But I know I can't. It's too late. Childhood ended a little more than a decade ago, but still. It upset me. Although my fond memories of watching the show were vague, all I do remember is being at peace with the moment when I would watch it as a kid. I could barely remember any funny moments or the conflicts they faced, but looking back now, I can sense that I had a ton of envy for those girls. Hell, maybe any other kids from other sitcoms that had peaceful parenting enacted for them...

 

So Full House, do you remember this show did you ever get into it? What has your experience been with it?

[AynRand]

I've only seen a few episodes, but I had a different experience. I believe as a child I disliked the show so much because it contrasted so heavily with my own childhood. I didn't like it that those children were never yelled at, while I was yelled at. I had thought in my mind that maybe if I had a normal childhood then everybody should be yelled at as much as I was, and that would my childhood better. Now I can look back at realize how selfish those thoughts really were, and today I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

[MysterionMuffles]

Thanks for sharing, Ayn. I had a similar experience later on in life, feeling like the show was a personal taunt to me. I watched the first episode just a moment ago, and might continue to watch a bit more...it feels like a form of masochism to me. It really makes me sad at the end of each episode, that cheesy sappy 80's music playing and the heart to heart talks begin. It's like showing the world how parenting should and could be like...I don't know if I will end up crying at the end of each episode, but I would like to expirament with that.

 

These writers...I wonder if they followed in that model they portrayed with their own children, let alone the actors, the cameramen, the stage hand....everybody.

 

That's interesting, btw. Why do you think you wanted to universalize the abusive parenting that you experienced and not the other way around like I had? I wished that I got the same kind of parenting along with everybody else around me. Though obviously I didn't think in those terms of everybody else as a kid since my world was all of my own to worry about.

[AynRand]

My thought was that if everybody was metaphorically in the same boat then this would be the right way to raise children by yelling and hitting, and any family that didn't yell and hit would be parenting wrong. Seeing these children happy in their lives without the pain that would be inflicted by my parents made me angry. I didn't want to accept that my circumstances were as terrible as they were, and I believe that show was a wake up call that I couldn't deal with at that time. Once again I fully realize how terrible that thought process was, and I wish nobody ever experiences child abuse again.

[MysterionMuffles]

I totally understand, AynRand. There was a while in my life where I would think back to the show, not knowing why, but resenting it for being so corny and realistic. Perhaps it was the sense that I wasn't seeing any peaceful parenting in reality, and most especially not in school.

 

I've watched the first three episodes and what I do find creepy is when Uncle Jesse starts talking about his sexual experiences in front of the children. He never gets around the dirty details, but you can tell by the way he's speaking, it's leading to a sex story that which Danny prompts him to be aware of the children present. For instance, it was Stephanie's first day of kindergarten and they were talking about how first times could be scary, and Jesse spun a story about how when he was 14, he dated a college girl--which screamed to me sexual predation on her part--and he was going on about the date details up until the point of "having his first time" at something.

 

I wonder if that was so much for comedic effect and if it was neccessary to have him act this way. I've been finding that troubling and inappropriate. I dunno. I'll continue watching it. I've only cried at the end of the episode I caught on TV and the first episode, but so far I'm enjoying it quite decently for what it had to offer for its time.

[MysterionMuffles]

Holy crap I made this post a whole year ago. Didn't know that there'd be a reboot for it that I would later review on my YouTube channel...which I also didn't know I would reboot this year. Sorry for double posting and the bump, just wanted to share my experience and amazement by how things have turned out this year after posting this. Didn't think I'd come back to talking about this show again let alone binge watching it.

[brucethecollie]

My sister and I were talking just yesterday and she said she has been feeling down in the dumps.  I asked if anything in particular brought that on and she said she was watching the "Fuller House" show.  We grew up watching Full House and fully appreciating the way 2 grown men decided to stick around to help a family in need.  We grew up without extended family so it looked like a dream, even though it was cheesy, and they were wealthy (to us it seemed, anyway).  The talks on the couch and on the bed all the time-Danny wanting to know how his kids were feeling and what they were thinking.  My siblings and I all yearned for that as well as family that would integrate nosily into each member's life because they cared.  For my sister, watching the new show now as an adult whose life choices, as a result of her childhood experience, have lead her to plenty of sorrow, became a somber experience.  She sounded almost bitter over it.  

[MysterionMuffles]

My sister and I were talking just yesterday and she said she has been feeling down in the dumps.  I asked if anything in particular brought that on and she said she was watching the "Fuller House" show.  We grew up watching Full House and fully appreciating the way 2 grown men decided to stick around to help a family in need.  We grew up without extended family so it looked like a dream, even though it was cheesy, and they were wealthy (to us it seemed, anyway).  The talks on the couch and on the bed all the time-Danny wanting to know how his kids were feeling and what they were thinking.  My siblings and I all yearned for that as well as family that would integrate nosily into each member's life because they cared.  For my sister, watching the new show now as an adult whose life choices, as a result of her childhood experience, have lead her to plenty of sorrow, became a somber experience.  She sounded almost bitter over it.  

 

It's bittersweet to know that other people had a similar experience as me in terms of envying what the Tanner girls had. Sorry to hear about your sister's current life due to her choices and childhood experiences that influenced such choices--whatever those might be, you do not have to share them here.