billkat Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Hi there, first post, I've done some searching but haven't had too much luck. Can you recommend a basics/introductory book on how to Journal in a planned manner to help me get more out of therapy? I've kept a log for years but I'm looking for more guidance on getting more out of it. I've also heard Stefan talk about Internal Family Systems and Alpha/Beta/Zeta males - are there 1 or 2 books that best explain this stuff? I don't understand it yet.
MMX2010 Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I've also heard Stefan talk about Internal Family Systems and Alpha/Beta/Zeta males - are there 1 or 2 books that best explain this stuff? I don't understand it yet. The Rational Male blog is, in my opinion, the best resource on the definitions of Alpha and Beta. http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/02/beta-game/ http://therationalmale.com/tag/alpha-male/ http://therationalmale.com/category/alpha/ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TheRawness blog contains the best selection of posts warning you about pitfalls in your transitions from Alpha to Beta. http://therawness.com/reader-letters-1-part-1/ (The most important warning is the question, "Are you transitioning from Beta to Alpha in order to get girls, or in order to be happier with who you are as a man?") ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike Cernovich of Danger and Play has a series of posts about alpha male posture exercises...... http://www.dangerandplay.com/2014/06/18/alpha-male-posture-exercises/ ......as well as Testosterone Replacement Therapy, including how to self-diagnose a low testosterone level and how to self-medicate if you have low testosterone. http://www.dangerandplay.com/2013/11/12/testosterone-replacement-therapy-trt/ TRT, for the men who have needed it and executed it, is a godsend. Once I get my finances in order, I'll order the blood test and then self-medicate if necessary.
J. D. Stembal Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I bought three IFS books by Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss because they were far cheaper than the Richard Schwartz approved literature. Self Therapy: Second Edition Self Therapy Workbook Freedom from Your Inner Critic Surely, you can use these tools to determine what alpha, beta, and zeta mean to you. I don't find those terms to be particularly helpful in any rational discussion. Mostly, they are a mearns for men to shame each other in chat rooms. 2
MMX2010 Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Surely, you can use these tools to determine what alpha, beta, and zeta mean to you. I don't find those terms to be particularly helpful in any rational discussion. Mostly, they are a mearns for men to shame each other in chat rooms. Agree with you. Used properly, though, those words help a man determine for himself his expectations and "personal guilt management" in a relationship. Beta is Beta, because it voluntarily accepts undeserved guilt for female and/or societal transgressions against him.
J. D. Stembal Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Agree with you. Used properly, though, those words help a man determine for himself his expectations and "personal guilt management" in a relationship. Beta is Beta, because it voluntarily accepts undeserved guilt for female and/or societal transgressions against him. The problem that I have is everyone, including women, should be striving to be alphas, but sometimes we will behave like betas because of insecurity stemming from childrood trauma. I'm not sure what guilt management is. Why does someone have to be guilty? If a woman is making me feel bad about being in relationship with her, that's when I start shopping for a new one, or dump her and take a sabbatical from the insanity of poon. Currently, I'm on sabbatical. If men want to put up with the insanity, they have to be honest with themselves about why they put up it. I rufuse to do it any more. I'm on strike until I can find a woman who doesn't act like any other woman, a woman who is her own woman. If I have to go into a coffin while still single, so be it. 1
_LiveFree_ Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Hi there, first post, I've done some searching but haven't had too much luck. Can you recommend a basics/introductory book on how to Journal in a planned manner to help me get more out of therapy? I've kept a log for years but I'm looking for more guidance on getting more out of it. I've also heard Stefan talk about Internal Family Systems and Alpha/Beta/Zeta males - are there 1 or 2 books that best explain this stuff? I don't understand it yet. Hi billkat and welcome to the forums! I found The Ultimate Guide to Journaling by Hannah Braime to be helpful. http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Journaling-Hannah-Braime-ebook/dp/B009HP2T6C I don't know if this will apply to you, but the big thing about journaling for me is to simply be honest in the moment about how I'm feeling and explore that. There is always something to write about as long as you don't try and control what you are writing about. I found the techniques in the book mentioned above can help get around fear blockages when I'm having trouble. What EndTheUsurpation said about A/B/Z. I haven't found it to be very useful as it is more of a conclusion than curiosity.
MysterionMuffles Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Daniel Mackler's Self Therapy is really direct and concise with guiding questions for self knowledge.
billkat Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 Thank you all very much for your suggestions! My priority is to get comfortable and effective with my journalling so I will check those resources out first and then take a look at the IFS and ABZ info.
MMX2010 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 The problem that I have is everyone, including women, should be striving to be alphas, but sometimes we will behave like betas because of insecurity stemming from childrood trauma. I'm not sure what guilt management is. Why does someone have to be guilty? If a woman is making me feel bad about being in relationship with her, that's when I start shopping for a new one, or dump her and take a sabbatical from the insanity of poon. Currently, I'm on sabbatical. If men want to put up with the insanity, they have to be honest with themselves about why they put up it. I rufuse to do it any more. I'm on strike until I can find a woman who doesn't act like any other woman, a woman who is her own woman. If I have to go into a coffin while still single, so be it. Someone has to be guilty, because women constantly worry about both whether they'll secure the commitment of "a good man" AND whether the man they're currently dating is "good enough". This constant double-worry creates psychological annoyance, which is only combatable through "explanations". So society is guilty, because women have decreed it. And individual men are guilty, because women have decreed it. And sons must serve their mothers, because women have decreed it. The sabbatical you speak of can break you away from the "Individual Guilt" that a specific woman imposes upon you during the relationship. But it can't necessarily break you away from the "Collective Guilt" that all women impose upon all men. Stefan has said that "Sin is basically stealing your self-esteem and then selling it back to you for money." To mother a male child is that, to the twentieth power. 1 1
J. D. Stembal Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 The sabbatical you speak of can break you away from the "Individual Guilt" that a specific woman imposes upon you during the relationship. But it can't necessarily break you away from the "Collective Guilt" that all women impose upon all men. Stefan has said that "Sin is basically stealing your self-esteem and then selling it back to you for money." To mother a male child is that, to the twentieth power. Of course, I can't dodge collective female guilt. That's because it doesn't exist in reality and I do. What I can do is try to find a sane woman to date. If that's not possible, then I can look into other options, like child surrogacy and the male family unit, for procreation and child rearing. In any relationship, why does someone have to be guilty? I acknowledge that it exists, but I don't understand why it has to exist. If I don't want male guilt (or white guilt) in my life, it won't be in my life. Women need to understand that if they insist on behaving irrationally, men will refuse to commit. If it gets bad enough, men will give up on relationships with women and use the free market to promote true equality within the family. It's already starting to happen.
Mark Serene Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Wow, just want to say awesome thread! Thanks to everyone who suggested books, I just splurged all over my kindle.
Recommended Posts