KyleK Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I've revamped my OKCupid profile, so I figured I might as well share it on here in case there are any single women that may be interested. If that's you...send me a message! https://www.okcupid.com/profile/parad0xalist If you are female and want to give me any feedback on how I come across digitally, feel free to share. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyleK Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 bump ps- I'm in Toronto, Ontario, Canada for anyone curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMX2010 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Well, this is going to be harsh. I'll do my best to soften the blow, but I'm not sure how to do that with so many things to criticize. ------------------ The first thing is that you're asking the women of FDR how you come across, but you're not asking the men. You've no idea how bad of an optic this is. (1) Let's say Super Hero Philosophical Woman gives you wonderful and effective advice on how to improve your profile. What's going to prevent you from having feelings for her, feelings that she never intended you to have? (2) Let's say Super Hero Philosophical Woman gives you sincere but ineffective advice. Now you're angry with her, because it's her fault, right? So if she's right, she loses; and if she's wrong, she loses. So why should she help you? ----------------- The second thing is that women don't deliberately give excellent advice on how to attract women, because they want you to Just Get It. http://therationalmale.com/2012/08/22/just-get-it/ Quoting the article, With a practiced, but cute, little wrinkle of her nose, and the huff of her $5K tits, my girl had just indirectly revealed one of the most vexing complexities of intergender communication – women want men to “just get it.” Just Get It From Female Dating Advice: The guy with the capacity to call a woman’s bluff with a confidence that implies she is to be worthy of him rather than the other way around is the Man to be competed for. Essentially the ‘chick speak’, ‘chick advice’ phenomenon is a shit test writ large on a social scale. And even your own mother and sisters are in on it, expecting you to ‘get it’; to get the message and see the challenge for what it really is, without overtly telling you. She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be. Observing the process will change it. This is the root function of every shit test ever devised by a woman. If masculinity has to be explained to a man, he’s not the man for her. In my Pour Girl’s example we see this ‘get it’ paradox from the single-man-sex-life perspective, and in Athol’s scenario we see it from the married-man (or LTR) -sex-life perspective. Many men will complain that they hate the presumption that they need to be a mind reader and ideally women ought to just communicate overtly and directly – just as a reason-based man would communicate. The problem is that in doing so it changes the dynamic for hypergamy. As I’ve stated so often, women say they want the truth, but they never want full disclosure. Hypergamy will not be pandered to, and will not be negotiated with. This is why the “communication is everything” meme has been responsible for the demise of more relationships than anyone will ever admit. It’s not that you communicate, it’s what you’re communicating and how you communicate it. I’ve counseled more men than I care to recount who’ve sobbed from the depths of their souls, “IF SHE’D JUST TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE HER LOVE ME I’D DO IT!” not realizing that their very verbalization of that and a belief in open, rational communication is the very thing that’s killing (or killed) their woman’s desire for him. As I’ve written a thousand times, a cardinal truth of the universe is that genuine desire cannot be negotiated. The moment you tell your wife, your girlfriend, that you will exchange a behavior or attitude or belief or any other compromise for her desire you fundamentally change her organic desire into obligation. What she wants, what her hypergamy wants confirmation of, can never be explicated, it can only be demonstrated. If her desire is for you to be more dominant, her telling you to be so negates the genuineness and the validity of your becoming so. Again, observing a process will change it – on a limbic level of consciousness her innate hypergamy is aware of that truth. She wants a man who knows he needs to be dominant with her, that is the confirmation of hypergamy. -------------------- The third thing is that the first thing women notice is your photo, and they're very good at sizing up what kind of man you are, and what kind of relationships you've had. What do I see? A very needy man, who expresses absolutely no emotion in his photos except loneliness and heartache. A tired man, a wounded man with no energy to pour into the world, who has had few, if any, relationships with women. You don't look like a happy player who's been with hundreds of women and is looking to settle down. You look like an unhappy person, who's hoping to find the One Woman Who Understands Him Better Than Anyone Else. -------------------- "Now just a minute, MMX2010! Didn't you read the rest of my profile? I do so much good for the world!" Yes, I read your profile, and I'm mind-boggled that you give technically-perfect non-friggin-emotional descriptions of your Humanist group and your small business that has grown to employ five people. HOW can you accomplish so much - but give no impression of the battles you've won, defeats you've suffered, joys you've derived, heartaches you survived, and happiness/joy you've created in others? I mean, it's one thing when an inexperienced guy unknowingly allows a chick to place him into the "Boring, Passionless Guy" box - (she asks interview-like, resume-based questions and he answers dryly and honestly). But it's quite another thing when a 31 year old man who should know better places himself into that box by presuming that these are the questions she wants, and this is the way he must answer! --------------------- Do you listen to rap music? I hope not, because this will be a completely foreign example of what you should be channeling. In this video, a "Clark" is a style of shoe - and the speaker at the beginning strongly believes he's discovered how to add small amounts of dye to a specific spot to make a fortune. (You only need listen to the first minute.) That dude is dumber than you are, more violent than you are, and he's talking about something utterly pointless: dying shoes to re-sell them - but can you hear the passion in his voice, the absolute joy in the pursuit of a way out of poverty? Why can't you channel that? -------------------- Knowing what I know about Toronto and online dating, you're better off deleting your profile and meeting people face-to-face, through your social circle of friends if necessary. Your profile is so far off-field from what women-pursuing-online-dating actually want that you'll probably be frustrated for a very long time if you limit your romantic pursuits to OKCupid. I did my best to soften the blow a bit, but I'm not sure how successful I was. I do know that what I said was true, and I hope it helps you. 5 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyleK Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Hrmmm, MMX2010 has following your strategy above worked well for you in finding a quality partner? I asked for feedback from women, because I'm marketing myself to women. I'm not expecting the same women who show interest to also give me tough-to-hear advice, but I have met female friends and older mentor-ish women who have given me useful feedback. I also wouldn't be angry at a woman for giving me her opinion (regardless of how effective it seemed to be), nor did I say she has to give me advice for me to show interest, so its not lose-lose, its win-win. I don't expect a woman to perfectly "just get it" in regards to me/men and need no feedback, so I would find it kind of hypocrtical if she expected perfection in that regard from me. I feel like I get ENOUGH of it, to be reasonably successful with women, which I have been. If my photos seem to reflect a man who has "loneliness and heartache" A tired man, a wounded man with no energy to pour into the world, who has had few, if any, relationships with women. I'm sorry but you are off base. OKC has worked very well for me, I'm just being very selective in regards to dating especially beyond the first few dates. Perhaps what are you are picking up on is somewhat valid, but your asssement of my life is WAY off regarding the amount/quality of relationships I've been in in the past, the degree of passion I've poured into things, etc. I'm curious to know if OTHER people are struck in same way because there seems to be (based on what you said) a disconnect between how I present online and who I am in reality. I'm not sure if you were trying to motivate me through shock value, but it came across as lacking empathy and curiosity. It also seems you feel quite confident in making a lot of assumptions, which is frusterating to say the least. If you have any practical suggestions on how to imbue what I say in my profile with more emotion/passion, I'd be open to that because I do struggle to sound enthusiastic through text, without seeming like a woo-boy. Or if you have any examples of what you would consider a well done profile, to share. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMX2010 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Hrmmm, MMX2010 has following your strategy above worked well for you in finding a quality partner? I asked for feedback from women, because I'm marketing myself to women. I'm not expecting the same women who show interest to also give me tough-to-hear advice, but I have met female friends and older mentor-ish women who have given me useful feedback. I also wouldn't be angry at a woman for giving me her opinion (regardless of how effective it seemed to be), nor did I say she has to give me advice for me to show interest, so its not lose-lose, its win-win. First of all, I don't use online dating. I prefer Day Game. Secondly, There's a certain male stubbornness (or naivete) which insists that through argumentation alone, (while ignoring all available evidence) it is correct. You've asserted that it's "win-win" for females to give you advice, but no female in this forum has given you advice. Repeat: no female on this forum has given you advice. (Unless they've done so privately, which means their advice isn't exposed to critical scrutiny. I'm not the most assertive/confident person (I'm working on those things) but I've had good feedback on the images so far, from women and OKC overall has worked very well for me, I'm just being very selective in regards to dating especially beyond the first few dates. Perhaps what are you are picking up on is 10-20% valid, but your asssement of my life is WAY off regarding the amount/quality of relationships I've been in in the past, the degree of passion I've poured into things, etc. Again, this is stubbornness of your part. YOU are the creator of the profile, so it's your job to passionately describe your life in a way that I (and women) can palpably feel. The women who don't respond to your profile will not put themselves in a position where you can tell them, "Oh, but you just don't get it." and "Oh, but you're wrong about the passion with which I live my life." Lastly, when you say, "but I've had good feedback on the images so far, from women and OKC overall has worked very well for me" - did you sleep with every woman who has given you good feedback on the images so far, and with every woman whom you've successfully met through OKCupid? If not, why not? I'm curious to know if OTHER people are struck in same way because there seems to be (based on what you said) a huge disconnect between how I present online and who I am in reality. I'm a bit frusterated with what seems to be over-confidence on your part, that your evaluation is accurate. If you have any practical suggestions on how to imbue what I say in my profile with more emotion/passion, I'd be open to that because I do struggle to sound enthusiastic through text, without seeming like a woo-boy. Or if you have any examples of what you would consider a well done profile, to share. Start with these. http://images.clipartpanda.com/happy-man-images-A-Happy-Man.jpg http://uvnqtno6xq158w827ulxd16yl.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/files/2014/03/Fotolia_8789265_Subscription_XXL.jpg Place those two photos next to your profile photos and insist that all three photos depict equally-happy men. If you can't do that, (because your photo depicts a much less happier man), then that is your first (and most easily correctible) problem. -------------- Secondly, when you said, "I'd be open to that because I do struggle to sound enthusiastic through text, without seeming like a woo-boy.", the word "woo-boy" is a prejudicial / bigoted dismissal of Men Who Are More Confident Than You. When people are prejudiced against the thing that they want to be, they prevent themselves from being what they want to be. Drop your prejudice, so that you can become more confident. 2 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susana Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Saw the profile - question, what kind of girl are you trying to attract? I would take out the pic at universal, a bigger group picture or working out at the gym. Something more exciting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Ed Moran Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 A male second opinion here. I like your profile. I think the best thing it communicates is that you are honest and reliable. That you have a strong sense of self, know what you want out of a relationship, and therefore are very mature. I think if there are any girls out there who share these characteristics, they will be drawn to you. You definitely will scare away the girls who completely lack self knowledge or self esteem. I do agree a bit more excitement would be appealing. You have started a business and a humanist group, so I assume you have a lot of energy and passion, but I am not sure that is communicated as best it could be from your profile. If I were a girl (which I'm totally not, so this is just speculation) I think I would really be drawn to your maturity, but I also would want to understand what a delightful life I would have with you because of your strong values and your ability to be emotionally intimate. I think I can sum up this point actually by noticing that your profile is a bit "me, me, me." Not in a narcissistic way or anything. It gives good insight into "your world." But what I think a girl is really looking for is how she will fit into your world, how she will benefit from it, and how she will be an irreplaceable addition to it. A simple showcase of humor in your profile would indicate that you are empathetic to providing joy unselfishly to someone in a more exciting, visceral and intimate way than talking about your business and humanist group, which I think is great on the whole, but dry and less intimate in comparison. Hope my opinion helped! It is offered humbly, please let me know if you disagree with anything I said. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyleK Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 HI Susana, it's hard to point to a 'type' of woman that I'd like to be with, but someoneone who is intellectually inclined, interested in continually learning, curious, on the conservative side of things lifestyle-wise, interested in raising a family in the future and being part of a community (not being withdrawn or a homebody). I don't go to the gym or do many things visibly exciting and most group pictures I have, have a lot of friends in them and it would seem weird i think...like look at all my friends, and me at a distance! Could you elaborate on the necessity of a guy coming across as exciting? Or ways to remain authentic while doing that. I'm a pretty calm guy who's trying to attract a girl who is at a similar energy level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susana Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 When I say "exciting" its because a woman looking at your profile is going to want someone compatable but also "exciting"in terms of something to look forward to in meeting and in the relationship. If your goal is to find a woman to start a family with, that should be clear and at the top! I just mentioned a gym picture because to me that is someone physical " getting stuff done, working on themselves/getting out there" haha the gym is the new club. Try to reread your profile so it has interesting tidbits as suggested by other people in this thread. As in, paint a picture of How you reached your achievements. So the woman can imagine years of quality time, growth etc. Confidence is also key! So say what you really want to. Haha yes group pictures are often very weird, I just think a more confident picture would be better. maybe at a cooking class?/ Its still authentic, it's just like first impressions or good conversation or a good book. You want the person to get "interested and excited" but again that's why you should mention the family thing because then you will get women who are excited about that. rather than idk the only vibe I get now from the profile is excited about having a bf who manages a company and can pay for vacations and dinners. haha also I'm married, so this is just advice. If a man does not even mention that his goal in the near (or when preparations are made. I/e a plan for it) is to have a family I find them so boring. versus other women who don't even want to think about family life, they just want to travel etc. also after the intj thing write one more sentence about community b/c the word gets lost when u have intj Meyers brigs in the same sentence. The profile is looking better already! love the tennis picture. and u can always use your profile on different sites etc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMX2010 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 A male second opinion here. I like your profile. I think the best thing it communicates is that you are honest and reliable. That you have a strong sense of self, know what you want out of a relationship, and therefore are very mature. I think if there are any girls out there who share these characteristics, they will be drawn to you. You definitely will scare away the girls who completely lack self knowledge or self esteem. I do agree a bit more excitement would be appealing. You have started a business and a humanist group, so I assume you have a lot of energy and passion, but I am not sure that is communicated as best it could be from your profile. If I were a girl (which I'm totally not, so this is just speculation) I think I would really be drawn to your maturity, but I also would want to understand what a delightful life I would have with you because of your strong values and your ability to be emotionally intimate. I think I can sum up this point actually by noticing that your profile is a bit "me, me, me." Not in a narcissistic way or anything. It gives good insight into "your world." But what I think a girl is really looking for is how she will fit into your world, how she will benefit from it, and how she will be an irreplaceable addition to it. You are describing the dating process logically, even though the dating process for women is primarily emotional. A woman simply cannot feel a man's "maturity, honesty, reliability, strong sense of self, and deep knowledge of what he wants in a relationship" - because these things aren't emotions. They're personality traits that a woman can only ever understanding by dating a man for an extended period of time. (There are no short-cuts to getting a woman to understand you as a person.) When a man approaches a woman in public, he uses his body language, voice tone, speech modulation, and facial gestures to create an emotional sense of what it might be like to date him (or sleep with him). If a woman emotionally decides to date him, she dates him; and if she emotionally decides to sleep with him, she sleeps with him. (That is all that ever is, no matter how smart you imagine the woman to be.) But when a man uses an online dating profile to approach a woman, he replaces his body language, voice tone, speech modulation, and facial gestures with his words and his pictures. And so the words and pictures alone must create the emotional picture, a Herculean gesture for most men. A simple showcase of humor in your profile would indicate that you are empathetic to providing joy unselfishly to someone in a more exciting, visceral and intimate way than talking about your business and humanist group, which I think is great on the whole, but dry and less intimate in comparison. A man who thinks the dating process is logical-for-women can't understand how a display of humor is supposed to work. He will logically ask you to dryly explain how the humor-display is supposed to logically-convey an accurate, authentic picture of Who He Really Is, especially when he's not inclined to be humorous. When that happens, you'll understand what I meant by, "You, Matthew M, are trying to explain dating logically, as if it were primarily a logical process for women. But dating, for women, is primarily an emotional process." (Btw I think MMX has an ongoing affair, just in case that might be relevant info to you) Hope my opinion helped! It is offered humbly, please let me know if you disagree with anything I said. And a man who thinks my affair is somehow relevant isn't giving humble advice; he's trying to portray himself as morally better, so that his advice will be taken more seriously. 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 He didn't ask for advice from men O.o Mmx, i don't understand how you claim to be giving advice when you haven't actually asked him what he wants out of online dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMX2010 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 He didn't ask for advice from men O.o Mmx, i don't understand how you claim to be giving advice when you haven't actually asked him what he wants out of online dating. Because, "What do you want from online dating?" isn't the proper first question to ask. The overwhelming majority of messages are sent from men to women. (Does KyleK intend to message no one, and hope that a special woman notices him? If so, that's an extremely low-percentage play, and his profile needs to be perfect. But as long as he doesn't get his hopes up, and supplements his dating approaches with Day Game, he'll be fine.) Since the majority of messages are sent from men to women, you can assume that every woman he messages gets a minimum of twenty messages from other guys. Now if we assume, probably correctly, that 50% of those messages are legitimately stupid, KyleK is still competing against ten other men. So the proper first question is, "What does KyleK possess that those other nine men lack, and how does he efficiently broadcast this possession in ways that females recognize and positively respond to?" And the follow-up question is, "Assume that the chick he just messaged is experiencing lukewarm interest from at least two men, in real life. How does KyleK overcome the handicaps of not-being-able-to-talk-to-her-directly, using his words and pictures to outcompete those two men?" (If he doesn't know any of these answers, his profile will probably not be successful.) (My personal favorite follow-up question is why KyleK is using online dating, as opposed to meeting women face-to-face. Is it approach anxiety? Lack of experience? A hope that online dating is somehow more "efficient" - (less time-consuming)? But if he doesn't want to answer these questions, he doesn't have to.) You'll notice that my two questions focus on What She Wants (a.k.a. Why should she pick you over about twelve other guys?), rather than on What He Wants. ---------------------------------- The thing that really struck me - (and Matthew M and Susanna both noticed this) - is how (1) KyleK has turned his own business from a one-man operation to a five-man operation, (2) that KyleK's mentioning of this (and the rest of his life) doesn't seem all that exciting, and (3) when Susanna kindly suggested adding gym-photos to add excitement, KyleK replied, "Could you elaborate on the necessity of a guy coming across as exciting? Or ways to remain authentic while doing that. I'm a pretty calm guy who's trying to attract a girl who is at a similar energy level." Connor, if you click on my profile, you'll come across the three most important words I use to describe myself: Small Business Owner. But I don't have five employees, I just have one. And I've been doing what I do for eight years. I've some very important entrepreneurial changes planned, and I've become much more in touch with why my business exists, and why my clients should use my business over everyone else's. This heightened awareness produces both excitement and a sense of mission/focus that I can easily communicate in an online dating profile. Meanwhile, in Toronto, KyleK doesn't understand "the necessity of a guy coming across as exciting" while describing the core focus of his life for multiple years - which four people, (his employees), depend upon to pay their rents, feed their families, buy their food, and clothe their backs! And WHY doesn't he understand "the necessity of a guy coming across as exciting?" Because he is very much concerned with "how to remain authentic" while describing his business, because "he's a calm guy who wants to attract a similarly calm woman". Connor, his non-understanding of why he should be excited about his business is caused by his focus on What He Wants, the calm girl with similar energy level. So advising him to focus on what he wants is just going to exacerbate his ignorance of what women who use online dating want. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omegahero09 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I'm curious to know if OTHER people are struck in same way because there seems to be (based on what you said) a disconnect between how I present online and who I am in reality. I'm not sure if you were trying to motivate me through shock value, but it came across as lacking empathy and curiosity. It also seems you feel quite confident in making a lot of assumptions, which is frusterating to say the least. Okay. What is this photograph of you expressing? I don't see happy ready to hit up chicks- I see a forced smile, eyes hiding despair, and black and white because why not. I'm sorry my friend, but 99%+ of women out there are not going to empathize with you in the way that you want. Women aren't going to look at you and want to fix you- why would they when there are scores of other men that don't have your problems? No, no, seriously why? I'm not being mean man, it's a question you have to ask and answer for yourself and for the women you wish to oggle you. They call them NAWALTs and Unicorns for a reason. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMX2010 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I'm sorry my friend, but 99%+ of women out there are not going to empathize with you in the way that you want. Women aren't going to look at you and want to fix you- why would they when there are scores of other men that don't have your problems? No, no, seriously why? I'm not being mean man, it's a question you have to ask and answer for yourself and for the women you wish to oggle you. I posted in another thread that women DO NOT have the same level of empathy for men that they do for women. Once a man accepts women's natural lack of empathy, he rarely (if ever) tells her his problems, preferring to speak with trusted male friends. Around women, he adopts a stronger, less emotional, more determined focus - which women find immediately more attractive. From there, he either gets bitter (and ruins the gains made from his new emotional mindset) *OR* he realizes that every successful man he's ever competed against (and lost to) has had just as many problems, but was masking the expression of those problems the entire time. Women don't care whether you're authentic; they care whether you're awesome. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snapdragon Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 f Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyleK Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 The feedback has been challenging to say the least, but in the end...appriciated. I've revised my profile based on the advice given (to some degree), so feel free to re-critique. I've tried to redo it with a little more spontaneity. I'm not after casual sex (I have done the friends with benefits thing, didn't suit me) however I am interesting in gaining experience, improving my confidence and figure out in greater detail what I like in a woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMX2010 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The feedback has been challenging to say the least, but in the end...appriciated. I've revised my profile based on the advice given (to some degree), so feel free to re-critique. I've tried to redo it with a little more spontaneity. I'm not after casual sex (I have done the friends with benefits thing, didn't suit me) however I am interesting in gaining experience, improving my confidence and figure out in greater detail what I like in a woman. I'm glad that I was able to help you to some degree. If you're serious about your blue-colored goal, Roosh outlines a clear, but difficult, and long approach to getting what you want. http://www.rooshv.com/the-roosh-program It'll be the toughest thing you'll ever do, but it'll be worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederik Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hey Kylek - I'm not sure if you think this is the appropriate place, but I'd like to ask you the simple question Why are you actively searching for a girlfriend [on an online dating platform]? Feel free to answer in a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AustinJames Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I can't speak for any women, but I agree with MMD that Sex at Dawn would be a disqualifier for me, and may also be for quality women. I agree that it is an interesting read, but placing it first on your list is risky if you intend to attract an intelligent, healthy, and emotionally-balanced partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagiquarius Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Sorry for the necro post. Why is sex at dawn on the list of books an immediate disqualifier and runs the risk of not attracting intelligent, healthy, and emotional-balanced partners? That's making as assumption about the intent of the person that may not be accurate. The implication is that the OP may agree with the book, or it could (given the context of the other books listed) indicate a person with diverse intellectual interests. He does list himself as monogamous. To the OP: I am curious. Why did you list sex at dawn so high on the list? I mean, that is a book about polyamory and alternative sexual/romantic lifestyles. And you posted it to the FDR forum. If that isn't your lifestyle nor interest, (considering the monogamous status), I'd suggest dropping it from the list. To speak to what Mike and Austin are saying: I consider myself open to polyamory, and have explored it a great deal - conceptually and via chatting with many folks that are poly. I can say with 100% certainty that there is a high degree of emotional instability and rampant liberalism in that community. So, if your goal is to find a monogamous partner that is emotionally stable and available, listing sex at dawn (presuming the reader is aware of the book) isn't going to help your case. It really depends on the reader. I wouldn't be put off by it were I interested in dating you. But it would be a "yellow flag" that would need to be discussed in person. It isn't the "polyness" that concerns me, in this hypothetical example, it would be what usually comes with said polyness. However, if you are looking for a poly girl, well then proceed and be honest and open about it. Which it looks like you are. Please be careful, though. I must warn you, poly folks aren't well respected in the FDR world and are generally looked upon with suspicion by some. Sadly, this is the case for transgender folks as well, and (I really hate to say it) is likely warranted. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magenta Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I only read the OP but here's my advice: don't waste your time on free dating sites. They're filled with "free" kind of people. Very low signal to noise ratio. If you value the online matching process, pay for it. This also filters out all the "free" people so you only find others who value the online matching process. In computer programming terms, it's a "proof of work". An obstacle that must be overcome before entering the club. Match.com seems to be where the most serious people go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. D. Stembal Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Celibate dude chiming in.In an OkCupid profile, you have to be doing something if you are a man. Riding a mountain bike or lifting weights will get you hits fairly quickly in the dating world. Here are two of my pictures from my OkCupid profile way back when. You can't really make out my face, but they are pretty exciting, aren't they? Being a Coloradan male stacks 10 sexy points against all feminine saving throws to resist manliness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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