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Posted

I need som input.

 

I'm stuck between a anger/annoyance/irritation part and a depressive/tired/uninterested part, behind the anger is sadness which I occasionally experience until I fall back the depressed part. And on and on it fucking goes (A frustrated part of me). I've gone to IFS therapy for a year now but in recent sessions I didn't want to talk to my therapist, I just sat mute for which he recommeded me to temporarly take anti-depressants, to get the depressed part to step back so work can continue,

 

I've started takning Saints Johns Wort a few days back now to see if that could help but in the mean time I'm basically annoyed and depressed through out the day. 

 

Have anyone been in a similar situation and what do you think taking alleopathic anti-depressant temporarily?

 

Haven't felt any difference with the saints johns wort yet.

 

Posted

I was prescribed two different anti-depressants when I was a teenager, Prozac and Zoloft, and had a therapist. These drugs and the therapy were an excuse for my parents not to claim any responsibility for my sadness. I did not realize the connection at the time. I was unhappy about a high school breakup which was the immediate instigator of my depression.

 

It would be very instructive to attempt to address the real causes for your suffering. I am surprised that an IFS therapist isn't striving to find a way to engage you into successfully exploring your mecosystem. It's all about finding the self, and being curious about your parts. If you don't trust the therapist enough to open up, then you should find a better therapist.

 

I am hesitant to give mental health advice, but I would be skeptical of any use of SSRI drugs. I'm reading Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic right now. Over time, SSRI drugs down regulate the number of seratonin receptors in your post-synaptic neurons by flooding your synapses with seratonin. When you finally go off the anti-depressants, your natural chemical transmitters will have a less potent effect on your brain functions than before. You may feel better in the short run, but you may also feel worse when coming off of them.

 

I don't have any experience with St. John's Wort aside from smoking it with marijuana in college. That was a trip. Far better than drugs and over the counter supplements, I think it would be helpful for you to step back and look at what you are eating day to day. Do you consume a lot of packaged foods? What kinds of chemical additives are listed on the box? Michael Pollan has written that you should never eat anything with more than five ingredients listed on the package. I like to take it a step further and buy mostly individual ingredients, such as a whole chicken. If I prepare it myself then I know precisely what is in it. Sometimes, I will buy sausages and other meats that have four or five ingredients, but some of those are spices. I also try to avoid products that say they have "smoke flavor" or "natural flavor" because that's corporate Newspeak for patented chemical additives.

 

Here is one example of the bacon I ate yesterday.

 

Beeler's Hickory Smoked Uncured Bacon (Tagline: Quite possibly the best tasting bacon on the planet.)

 

Ingredients: Pork, Water, Sea Salt, Turbinado Sugar, Celery Powder.

 

The only ingredient that jumps out at me is turbinado sugar. What the heck does turbinado mean? A quick search clarifies for me that turbinado sugar is a form of sugar that is considered to be raw or less refined. Turbinado refers to the process through which the manufacturer produces it, spinning it in a turbine. Sugar is what is substituted for sodium nitrate in so called uncured bacon. It's not much sugar, only 8 grams contained in a 340 gram package.

 

While some people find reading labels and researching food to be an unwelcome chore, I find it very entertaining and fun. I feel empowered by knowing exactly what I am consuming.

 

I hope this helps!

 

P.S.: In addition to food, also consider if you are getting enough sleep. Is your sleep restful? Do you wake up tired or refreshed? I have a big problem getting restful sleep sometimes, and it drives me crazy during the day.

  • Upvote 1
Posted

Thanks for the input,

 

I was suprised when he recomended that route and didn't help me explore the depression, although I didn't have any desire to even speak so I think he felt a little paralysed. A part of me believes that no one cares about me and that part filters every interaction I have with people, maybe a different therapist could help I'm not sure.  

 

I skeptical too, I have a bad feeling about SSRI with all negative publication so I'd rather not go that route. 

 

About the food, I try to avoid package food all together and cook food by myself, but I've no interest in actively investigating additives.

Posted

 

I was suprised when he recomended that route and didn't help me explore the depression, although I didn't have any desire to even speak so I think he felt a little paralysed. A part of me believes that no one cares about me and that part filters every interaction I have with people, maybe a different therapist could help I'm not sure.

 

I am feeling the same way, that no one is curious about my motivations, thoughts or feelings.

 

I've become a food and health enthusiast in the last three years. This goal comes from a desire not to turn out like my father, who had a heart attack at 47, and now thinks that we need a single-payer health care system because his medical bills continue to mount, and no insurance company will sell him a medical plan (unless coerced by the government). This, coming from a man who voted for Ross Perot.

 

More recently, I gave up drinking alcohol, and this has caused a lot of friction with my friends, who invite me to watch ball games or parties and then I don't show. No one has showed any genuine curiosity over me seeking sobriety. One of them insinuated that I was not really an alcoholic, completely ignoring the incident where I vomited all over his girlfriend's bathroom, and stumbled home sixteen blocks in the middle of the night without cleaning the mess up first. I consumed some lacquer spray paint that night as well.

 

I'm not sure what a live therapist would try with a block present in their patient. You have a filterer or blocker that is perhaps seeking to save you from being judged harshly. Everyone that I know has this part, including me. I've found that showing up to a party and telling everyone with a beer or a joint in their hand that I've gone sober and why aggravates that part of them that does not want to be judged. Later on, one will say to the other, "Can you believe the nerve of that guy? Where does he get off thinking he's the shit? Why does he think he's better than us? He must be crazy!"

 

From what I've learned from practicing IFS therapy by myself, I have to gain the confidence of the part that is refusing to talk. If there is a part of me that fears judgement, I have to tell him not to worry about any negative consequences for a little while. Once I have that protector's trust, the communication becomes much easier. Of course, this seems a lot easier in theory than in practice. I have difficulty talking to my parts until the wall comes down and I start accessing my deepest emotions, which usually manifests as uncontrollable weeping or shaking. The trust doesn't last long however, and the wall goes back up too quickly. That's what I am struggling with right now. I need to ask my protectors for more time to heal the exiles.

  • Upvote 1
Posted

I really enjoy hearing you talk of your experiences, I can relate to some of them.  In a way that is what I would like to happen i therapy, that when the protector part comes up the therapist maybe talks about his experiences instead of simply wating.

 

Yes, I have a part who is very fearful of beeing jugded, I fell anxious opening my email usually and seeing contentious topics on facebook really activates this part and recieving critisism, yeesh thats a tuff one even though benign. I can caught my inner critics sometimes and I really understand how scared they are of judgments.

 

I've started taking one beer in the evening, its a nice way to end the day for me.

 

Thanks for the tips.

Posted

I pulled out of Facebook. It was too aggravating listening to the inane and unprincipled beliefs of the masses, and once I started posting Stefan's videos (the anti-spanking ones), other people became aggravated with me. That's when I knew that I did not belong there.

 

Twitter is much more psychologically appealing for me. You just send off a link or a short tweet and forget about it. Hopefully, the like-minded will see it and retweet, but you don't usually get sucked into intense online debates via text. That may help you to reduce the immediate anxiety of social media.

 

Of course, the anxiety of the threat of other people's judgements doesn't come from your email or Facebook. We instinctually learned to fear judgement from our parents, and then our teachers and peers in public school. What is school but a twelve year long exercise in judging your ability to memorize and regurgitate information?

 

Beer is great. I really do love it, but biochemically, I will become addicted to just about anything (exercise, sex, and video games - not just drugs and foods). Gladly, I did not become an intravenous drug user because I have an intense aversion to blood and needles. I also did not hang with any IV drug users. I am extremely thankful for this. If a drug pusher rang my bell today and offered me a syringe, telling me that the contents will make me feel wonderful, I could calmly tell him to go leave and not give it a second thought.

 

Currently, I'm struggling with my coffee consumption. It's way past healthful levels at this point. It started about the same time I tapered off my alcohol consumption. Hmmm... coincidence or causation? I am thinking I will have to cut it out entirely and go back to tea. Tea is more expensive on the whole, but has far less caffeine and a more pleasing flavor. This probably has something to do with my restless sleep, too.

 

I've got an idea. Next time you go for therapy, ask your therapist if he has a fear of being judged. In answering your question, that may lower the guard of your protectors.

  • Upvote 2
Posted

The first effects of St. John's Worth usually occur after two weeks. I had as a tea and it helped me some. There are a few supplements that you can take without any risk and that can change your mood for the better: high doses of B12, Magnesium, Omega acids, and vitamin D. I found the advice that Rhonda Patrick gave to be very helpful. She has a blog and appeared two times at Rogan's podcast.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

I tried SJW for 5 weeks, different brands and doses but it didn't helped me in anyway unfortunately. Also I tried acupuncture and massage but didn't really help either.

 

So since yesterday I've started taking Anti-depressant and will see for the coming weeks if it can be beneficial.

 

Man I hope it helps cause I'm running out of options here.

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