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Waiting till marriage


adamNJ

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Recently on the call in show, a caller asked the question of weather he should wait till marriage to have sex with the girl he is currently dating. Unfortunately the call wasn't taken due to bad sound quality from the caller.  I don't think Stefan has said much on this topic.  The question is what does philosophy have to say in regards to waiting until after marriage to have sex?

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I don't see how philosophy would apply (not saying it doesn't, I just don't see it).  Recreational sex is not evil, and with modern practices can be quite safe.  However I do see it as a pretty aesthetically poor choice if your plan is to only have sex with one person during your entire single incarnation. It would seem to me like you are missing out on a lot of fun and potential connection with people you are romantic with before you find the person you marry.

 

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I highly recommend the "There are No Solutions" Podcast here:

 

http://cdn.freedomainradio.com/FDR_2901_No_Solutions.mp3

 

To sum it up, analyze the abstinence question with it's costs and benefits.

 

Since there are no moral properties (assuming both parties are willing and not children etc) associated with sex, then what is the cost of abstinence? What are the benefits?

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I met a mother who claimed to have over 90 sexual partners, male and female. I don't know if this technically makes her a sex worker, but she had been an erotic housekeeper. http://www.fantasygirlmaids.com/services.html

 

I was dating her friend, and the second time she ever spoke to me, she blurted out that I was very attractive. At the time, I smiled at the compliment. Later, after I learned about her past and the open relationship with the father of her kids, I began to feel uneasy in her presence, as if every time she looked at me, she was a predator salivating at the sight of her prey.

 

I'm not suggesting that only virgins are suitable prospects for motherhood, but I am noticeably repulsed by women that are sexually liberated to a prolific degree.

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I remember reading at some point that the chances of a successful lasting marriage/relationship are inversely proportionate to the number of sexual partners that a woman has had, men too but less significantly.  These kinds of choices do make it harder to have a sustainable long term relationship, esp for women.  There is a biological imperative at work here, but it is not a moral issue.  

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I remember reading at some point that the chances of a successful lasting marriage/relationship are inversely proportionate to the number of sexual partners that a woman has had, men too but less significantly.

 

Yes. I don't know exactly what Stefan would say, but given the above statistic, which he himself quotes, it would seem hypocritical, ie. not universally consistent, to a) want a stable marriage, and b) have sex with a woman you're not committed to marrying. I'm sure it can be more complicated than that, though.

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