Omegahero09 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 So before I saw the movie (I have no interest in reading the book) I didn't quite sympathize, or empathize with the way that some women feel about men and pornography. But sitting there in the theater with my girlfriend I found myself becoming... jealous, I think, of the attention the Christian Grey character was getting from her right next to me. It would flare inside of me any time I looked at her restraining her giddiness at the things he'd say or do on screen, or any time she made a comment about him. Each time it flared, I defensively and neurotically analysed what was happening, running everything I knew about biology and philosophy against what was happening before me and within me. Then it hit me about a third of the way in- I was experiencing what women experience, when they think of men -whom they value and love- watch pornography. I realized that my thoughts of "No men are like this, who could actually be like this?" and thoughts of resentment towards her and the whole phenomenon of this novel and film- and precisely what women feel about the women in pornography. "No women are like this, no women would do this to themselves." You know, the feeling of inferiority, feeling small and powerless in your capacities. When compared to the "too good to be true" sexuality in pornography. The best part was, after I figured this out it made me relax and I could return to the moment. The clarity was wonderful. Thoughts forum? Has anyone else had a similar experience, or empathize with women on this? Am I missing something here or am I off base with what I understand now about with this? 3
jpahmad Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 So you are dating a girl who is turned on by a make believe person on a movie screen? 1 1
Omegahero09 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 So you are dating a girl who is turned on by a make believe person on a movie screen? If by you mean reacting to the biology happening in her body with pleasure and accepting it? Yes. lol I'm turned on by make believe characters too- so it's no big deals. 1
MysterionMuffles Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 It's okay to be turned on, but another thing to be striving to emulate such dysfunction. Not gonna lie, women in porn who are just always sooo horny that they can't "stop cumming," turn me on. But I'm not gonna look for a woman in real life who has a high and unsatiable sex drive, that would actually be draining and an indication she has nothing else going for her. I could be wrong, there might be women with unsatiable sex drives that are also driven with ambition and possibly virtue, but highly unlikely. So omegahero, I can see where you're coming from. It totally makes sense.
jpahmad Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 If by you mean reacting to the biology happening in her body with pleasure and accepting it? Yes. lol I'm turned on by make believe characters too- so it's no big deals. I think though that when men are turned on by sexy women on screen, or porn, it is not fiction that they're turned on by. It's reality. And, it's all purely physical. We (as men) are just looking at "pieces of meat" and getting aroused just as we would if the person was actually right in front of us. However, I feel that women are getting turned on more by a concept that is a fictional creation. They are not just looking at physical appearance, but the whole package. For example,the "guy" who is aggressive yet sensitive and who is witty and smart but also cold and calculating when need be. The classic James Bond. I can't relate to this. After a certain age or maturity level, you would think that someone would not be able to "suspend disbelief" any longer. Women, from my experience, actually let these character creations effect them. It alters their expectations of real men, men in the real world. They, as Arthur Shopenhauer claims in his epic rants against women, are like eternal children, forever believing in the fairy tale. I think this is vastly different from men getting an erection when they see a naked female body fornicating on the television.
MMX2010 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 After a certain age or maturity level, you would think that someone would not be able to "suspend disbelief" any longer. Women, from my experience, actually let these character creations effect them. It alters their expectations of real men, men in the real world. They, as Arthur Shopenhauer claims in his epic rants against women, are like eternal children, forever believing in the fairy tale. I think this is vastly different from men getting an erection when they see a naked female body fornicating on the television. Agree with this 100%. Omegahero, it'd be one thing if your actual girlfriend/wife had a negative emotional reaction to your porn viewing. Then you and the forum could have a heart-to-heart that could change your life for the better. But empathizing with all women is dangerous because: (1) not nearly all women empathize with you, and (2) not nearly all women have negative emotional reactions when their boyfriends/husbands watch porn.
J. D. Stembal Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Thoughts forum? Has anyone else had a similar experience, or empathize with women on this? Am I missing something here or am I off base with what I understand now about with this? I've typically let women enjoy their episodic girl porn (Grey's Anatomy or Sex in the City as two prominent examples from memory) by themselves. They know that I have no interest in watching it because I have made my preferences clear. If they want to watch me wank it to my favorites, they are welcome to join in, but they are generally not interested in it either.
Omegahero09 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 I think though that when men are turned on by sexy women on screen, or porn, it is not fiction that they're turned on by. It's reality. And, it's all purely physical. We (as men) are just looking at "pieces of meat" and getting aroused just as we would if the person was actually right in front of us. However, I feel that women are getting turned on more by a concept that is a fictional creation. They are not just looking at physical appearance, but the whole package. For example,the "guy" who is aggressive yet sensitive and who is witty and smart but also cold and calculating when need be. The classic James Bond. I beg to differ to some degree, the women in pornography are actors and in the films they create they are acting, what's going on on screen is a mock-up. There's a lot more going on, than just 'boobs = boner.' Not all women are relentless sexual vixen goddesses like they are portrated in pornography, and not all men are O-G alphas like Christian Grey, rather both depictions are of an extreme perfect partner (designed to grab both sexes by the balls) and are a very small minority of people. I think sexuality across the board is "physiological reaction within the body + concepts in the mind = sexuality." In other words, the body will react to external and internal stimuli. 1
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