the wandering shaman Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 i can't think of any, there are so many highly dysfunctional relationships in movies and TV shows repackaged as 'true' love, so can you think of any movies or TV show where there is a positive, RTR based and equitable heterosexual relationships portrayed in popular media? as a side question are there any members of AVFM forum here?
PatrickC Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I believe the Bill Cosby show 'Different Strokes' was one of them and there were others that don't spring to mind right now. But generally most contemporary portrayals are as you're suggesting, anything but. 1
Alice Amell Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Hmmmmmmmm I mainly watch dramas which are all horrible models for relationships. I can think of some relationships that -seem- good but really don't have any screen time. I cant really remember but I think "full house" might have had one. Jesse and Becky. haven't seem that show in years though so idk. Its the only show I can think of really. The show also ended 20 years ago lol
DaVinci Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 The only one that comes to mind is Aragorn and Arwen from Lord of the Rings. They love each other, want to be with each other, are willing to sacrifice for the other and help support each other. He has a stable job. She is hot. etc ...lol
shirgall Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Let's try Little House on the Prairie, both the original Ingalls family unit and the follow-ons. Sure, the typical "miscommunication leads to misunderstanding" trope runs around, but for the most part it's clear that it's built on trust and saying how you feel, and it's contrasted with other families that are around. Yeah, there's some harsher punishments, which come across as a product of the times. Admittedly the entire work comes across as a sentimental recollection through a forgiving nostalgic author (and show writers), but it was an attempt.
AncapFTW Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Mostly, old shows have better relationships in them. In modern times, it's considered more interesting to make the relationships dysfunctional.
kalmia Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I think watching too much tv damaged my view of relationships.
hannahbanana Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Would Marshall and Lily from How I Met Your Mother count? They always seemed to care a lot about each other, they were friends as well as lovers, and I don't remember them getting into stupid fights. (except that one time that Lily basically ran away but then came back). Maybe I'm not remembering, everything, it's been a while since I've seen the show. 1
Alice Amell Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 That was a good find, Aragorn and Arwen. I love them! I was about to add, "but they are statists" until I came across this. http://www.quora.com/Why-does-The-Lord-of-the-Rings-glorify-a-monarchy-if-it-was-written-by-Tolkien-who-lived-in-the-UK-in-a-time-of-increased-democracy 1
DaVinci Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 That was a good find, Aragorn and Arwen. I love them! I was about to add, "but they are statists" until I came across this. http://www.quora.com/Why-does-The-Lord-of-the-Rings-glorify-a-monarchy-if-it-was-written-by-Tolkien-who-lived-in-the-UK-in-a-time-of-increased-democracy Hey, wow, that was a good read. Tolkien leaned towards anarchism huh? Nice. Thanks for sharing!
MysterionMuffles Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Would Marshall and Lily from How I Met Your Mother count? They always seemed to care a lot about each other, they were friends as well as lovers, and I don't remember them getting into stupid fights. (except that one time that Lily basically ran away but then came back). Maybe I'm not remembering, everything, it's been a while since I've seen the show. Yeah they seem to resemble the new generation of the young and in love couple that stays devoted to each other, instead of constantly sleeping around only to get back to each other like in most media. I think they were the closest we ever got to a functional heterosexual relationship on TV that was based on trust, honesty, and compassion.
Andre1332 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 How about Wesley and Buttercup? Couldn't help but to think about them, but as an example of how the midia doesn't have the slightest idea what is love. In the book Weasley "feel in love" with Buttercup was the most beautiful woman of the world; and she "feel in love" with him when other woman was threatening to take him away. After that the book and the movie kept saying love whenever it could, which bothered me greatly 1
AynRand Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Maybe today's TV entertainment is just a reflection of the dysfunctional relationships that seem so prevalent in today's society.
Pepin Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I'm not sure why heterosexual is a requirement as it isn't like there are many functional homosexual or bixsexual relationships. Though, the ones that are there might be overly positive and functional as a means of arguing that non-straight relationships can be positive and functional. Anyway, a major reason why they are not very common is that most writers are not capable of writing about something they have no experience with. To compound the problem, with the few people who have had a functional relationship, what is the probability that they are going to be a good writer? Relationships in movies, books, and any other medium are extremely difficult to write, and even if they can write it, the issue of getting published is amplified when most people aren't going to be able to relate to functionality. If you put 100 people up to the task of writing an average love relationship, only 1/100 might come up with something decent. This is a major reason why writers avoid the topic of love and relationships, and instead insert this "love at first sight" and "instant connection" stuff. When someone actually tries their hand at a love functional relationship, it really tends not to work out and comes off as unnatural. If someone looks up what a functional relationship is according to psychology and they create a relationship around it, it seems fake. Lets put it this way. The book Of Mice and Men is said to portray a story of friendship. This is what the book was said to be about back when it came out, and that is what I learned in school. This is what people see in the book... Is it? No. The book is about a dysfunctional relationship where the caretaker regularly abuses the vulnerable and in the end shoots him to pursue his dream on the farm. My argument is essentially that functional relationships are in low frequency, that the people who can write about those relationships are likely not good writers, and that they few good writers that can write about it will hit a large barrier because most people won't relate. I'm not saying that they don't or can't exist, but rather that they are going to be very low in frequency, at least until functional relationships become more common.
the wandering shaman Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 i specifically chose heterosexual because i've seen many TV shows or films showing gay couples in an admittedly cursory and unexamined way as these kind of very smartly dressed very happy, balanced loving couple, like the movie American beauty, the gay neighbors are presented as these perfect well groomed, very well off, very comfortable couple, but i saw no heterosexual couple that wasn't riddled with simmering unaddressed hostilities, i've seen other shows where the gay male couple have been presented in this way and the lesbian couple as very 'empowered' and 'sisters doing it for themselves' but i do notice a lot of attacks on fathers in heterosexual relationships on TV, the list is endless peter griffin, homer simpson, ray barone etc, i don't care to watch the newer shows like this any more. i chose heterosexual because of the toxic effect of feminism that belittles and devalues masculinity and takes away moral agency from the wife and puts her in the 'victim' box and so she can constantly be on his ass all day criticising every tiny thing but it's just seen as 'what you need to do' to get a man to do what you want them to do rather than very unfair bullying. but with lgbt relationships being seen as 'protected' they seem to be shown in most media i've seen as both not this dysfunctional but also not given much depth unless the drama is specifically centered around the depths of their relationship. I'd be very interested to see any RTR based virtuous, honest, open and functional homosexual relationships i just thought I'd give the reasons why i happened to choose heterosexual relationships
DaviesMa Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I recently watched the Railway Man with Colin Firth and Nicole Kidman. Whilst was not necessarily functional as Colin Firth was traumatised by his time as a POW, Nicole Kidman did a huge amount ot help him get through this trauma and you did get the sense that they deeply loved each other. Neo and Trinity from the Matrix had the pretense of love for each other and were prepared to sacrifice, but this seemed to be a sentimentalised 'destiny' rather than a basis of shared values, compatibility, or virtue. Other than that, I think I am out of luck.
Omegahero09 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 but with lgbt relationships being seen as 'protected' they seem to be shown in most media i've seen as both not this dysfunctional but also not given much depth unless the drama is specifically centered around the depths of their relationship. What about the show Modern Family? Mitchell and Cameron do stay together throughout the show... but I'd hardly call any of the relationships in that show functional, let alone their marriage.
drkmdn Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 This is such a great post. I love all the insightful answers here. You guys are a breath of fresh, non conformist air. Thank you for that. I have always been a fan of Aragorn and Arwen. Beautiful traditional male and female archetypes. They seem to really understand each others deepest and most private struggles and know just how to support the other. A friend recently posted this quote. It really spoke to me as I am also trying to outrun generations of evil momentum. Arwen: Why do you fear the past? You are Isildur’s heir, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his fate. Aragorn: The same blood flows in my veins. The same weakness. Arwen: Your time will come. You will face the same evil, and you will defeat it.
PGP Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 I was thinking about the Arwen/Aragorn dynamic recently. Its so long since I read the books that I'm going off the film, but, it was the sacrifice of Arwen in choosing a mortal life and having the sword re-forged that allowed the fight to even take place. Allowed the destiny to be fulfilled. A critical control point. Then, this allowed the dead to rise (I think of this as the best of the dead, their ideas), and then the child-like creature of innocence had the opportunity to save the men from doom. Arwen had a good father.
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