If This is How Your Parents Met How Would Your Turn Out?

[aviet]

[William Wyatt]

It depends really, they'd still probably be less prone to addiction, and more emotionally stable than myself. But to discover things like FDR, philosophy and such, it tends to be the most tragic upbringings and the absolute best upbringings that produce unique individuals. The people in the middle tend to fit in really well, so they never seek anything more.... 

My parents met in a low rent neighborhood whilst still in public school. They are the Australian equivalent to rednecks. Bogans if you will..

I am a product of a 1 night stand between a 14 year old girl diagnosed with ADD and an angry metalhead 17 year old who was no stranger to fights. Both were heavily drunk and stoned on the night in question and were no stranger to drugs. My mother still smoked and drank through my pregnancy.... 

My ACE is between 4 - 8

[Starsky]

He's got the money, she's got the looks. I cannot imagine a constellation like that to be the basis of a strong and loving marriage. What if the first rush of sexual attraction wears off due to, well, everyday life? Will they stay together because they have kids? What is the foundation of this relationship? 

 

I am the child of such a superficial bond. My mother looked like Barbie when she met my father who looked like Ken. He was about to start his training in the States to become a fighter pilot. Since only wives were allowed to come along, they decided to get married within 3 days. How well can you get to know a person within 3 days?

 

My parent's marriage lived on looks and prestige and my sister and I were born 4 years later because that's what couples do, have kids. None of the two took a real interest in us. Barbie's looks started to decay in her very early thirties and Ken escaped the daily routine by working extra hard and staying away as often as possible. My mother's only advantage were her looks. Until this day I can't think of any positive traits she had. None, whatsoever. My father in return soon displayed his life strategy: rejecting the consequences of his actions and fighting tooth and nail to not be bothered by them - even on his current death bed. 

 

Basically they set a monument to themselves and my sister and I were part of that monument, along with the house and the dog. Being a mere prop in this sick game we turned out like you can imagine - living a life of unimportance and non-existence.

 

I have an ACE score of 5 

[Mr. Roth]

Why is starting your own business and making millions from it at 23 bad?

[Matt D]

Why is starting your own business and making millions from it at 23 bad?

 

By itself, it's quite impressive. But a guy leading a conversation with that is like a girl saying to a guy, "What's your bra size? Mine's a double D."

[Mr. Roth]

By itself, it's quite impressive. But a guy leading a conversation with that is like a girl saying to a guy, "What's your bra size? Mine's a double D."

Right, you're referring to replication vs survival value I assume. I don't think it's equivalent at all though. A bra size is a coincidence of nature (or plastic surgery). Making millions at such a young age is an indicator of great business skill and probably very high intelligence. Also good principles, since he is producing something valuable that people are willing to buy: win for him, win for his customers. That's what moves the world forward. (I'm of course taking for granted that he didn't cheat or scam his way to his wealth.)

 

The only way I see it as a bad opener is that he would risk attracting a bunch of gold diggers. However, in most other settings it would probably be the best opener, right? Like on your CV for instance. It's basically a shortcut to describing a bunch of positive character traits, with proof included.

[Matt D]

Right, you're referring to replication vs survival value I assume. I don't think it's equivalent at all though. A bra size is a coincidence of nature (or plastic surgery). Making millions at such a young age is an indicator of great business skill and probably very high intelligence. Also good principles, since he is producing something valuable that people are willing to buy: win for him, win for his customers. That's what moves the world forward. (I'm of course taking for granted that he didn't cheat or scam his way to his wealth.)

 

The only way I see it as a bad opener is that he would risk attracting a bunch of gold diggers. However, in most other settings it would probably be the best opener, right? Like on your CV for instance. It's basically a shortcut to describing a bunch of positive character traits, with proof included.

 

It's true that building a million dollar business at a young age indicates high intelligence and great business skills. Those skills are to some degree earned and to some degree as inherited as breast size. Let's assume that he didn't cheat or scam his way to wealth or even that he was able to make millions voluntarily without relying on the arm of the government. Even so I don't agree that building a successful business in today's society indicates good principles or positive moral fiber. In fact, the more that the world rejects principles the more likely it is that successful entrepreneurs either lack principles completely or have suppressed their principles in order to provide a product which people who don't have principles will find valuable. 

 

A good example would be Stef. He made decent money as cofounder of a company selling software but when he wanted to bring philosophy and principles into the business world it took a long time before he could make a living at it, and he isn't rolling in dough. The empirical reality is that Candy Crush is currently more valuable to many people than living according to principles.

 

To return to Millionaire23's chat, he juxtaposes looks ("You look stunning") with wealth ("I've made a few million"), implying a transaction of pussy for dollars. If she were to reply to him "I'm a waitress" do you honestly think this guy would turn her away because she lacked a good business sense? Selecting a reproductive partner is very different than submitting your CV because it inevitably involves the raising of children.

 

TLDR: The ability to make money is not in itself proof of virtue.

[MrCapitalism]

Your OP is just a title and a picture, and yet there's so much subtext to analyze. After thinking on it for some days, I don't think I can do a coherent post, but more of a stream of consciousness..

First, Him.

 

6 replies into this thread and nobody has mentioned that he's most likely lying about his wealth. Looking at his picture, he doesn't project the image of somebody who's a young business tycoon. If he was, his success would have earned him some form of notoriety. I personally think the giveaways are the blank facial expression and his choice of a screen name of 'millionare23.' Uh huh, sure you are buddy. So what does a young, 23 year old millionaire have for interests? "Football, Money, Shopping, Clothes, Partys (sic)"

 

Bullshit. That's a woman's interests, except the football thrown in, in case she forgot he had a penis.

 

I think you guys have done a decent job with how shallow his opening line is. Money for sex, that's what he thinks women are worth. More importantly, he's specifically screening for women that find such an exchange acceptable. Low self esteem women. But he's a liar. So he's trying to find a woman that has such a low self esteem that will flirt with him while knowing he's a liar.

 

He looks like a nice guy to me. Why's he taking such a pessimistic view of dating? Lying to girls and trying to buy their love with fake money? Where did he get the idea that this strategy works? Probably from his personal life, especially the model of his parents. Maybe he already tried being genuine with romantic relationships and found the results lacking. Or, he's never had romantic success, and doesn't know that honesty and devotion is the key to a woman's heart.

 

And now, Her.

 

Obviously his approach was less than ideal. So how did she (I'm assuming it's a woman..correct if wrong) decide to respond to him? By putting his courtship on public display, in this forum. No analysis, just the image and the thread title.

 

"If this is how your parents met, how would you(sic) turn out?"

 

First of all, the dude wrote you two sentences and you're already thinking of children with him.

 

Holy shit.

 

He's projecting a false image to disguise who he really is, and your immediate response is to funnel him into your life script, without any attempt to get to know him first. Maybe he doesn't want kids, maybe he's going to find out that he doesn't like you.

 

Why should he make any effort to show you who he really is, when you couldn't give a crap who he is? You're not even willing to ask yourself if you like him, but instead, "will my future non-existent children approve of him as a father?"

 

It's hard for many men on this forum to process female aggression, and it took me a couple days to see yours. I experienced this post as a passive-aggressive. He failed in his attempt at courtship, and your response was to publicly shame him. The men on this forum were able to process the difficulties which may have modeled this behavior for him. It appears that you weren't interested in such empathy.

 

A man which is in touch with his emotions would experience displeasure at a rejection, and a great deal of embarrassment and shame at seeing a prospective mate putting his courtship on public display for ridicule.

 

I think that with his message and persona that he is screening for women of low self esteem. I also think that by using public rejection, you are also screening for men with low self esteem. What kind of man is going to try and win your heart when he knows this is the consequence for failure? Not a gentle dude for sure.

 

Modern dating is an abyss.

 

He tends towards one extreme by claiming to be a millionaire. She tends towards another extreme by judging him according to an elaborate expectation of the future. Where two people are supposed to meet and find love, I have no the slightest clue.

 

If any of my analysis has merit, it might also be insightful for the other  posters to ponder why they didn't discuss any of the subtext, or the aggression in her OP.

[Artist707]

First I would like to address the OP by giving her/him a possible answer to his/her question. I strongly disagree with Mr.Capitalism in the OP's question being aggressive and I'm going to argue against that within his quotation of his responses. But now I would like to give OP an interesting perspective about the question being asked. I won't get too in detail with specifics because I do not yet fully trust the boards yet. In the past I have seen unjust things happen so I want to slowly see how people respond to what I say. So here it goes. 
 
My dad was a very wealthy man when he met my mom. She was model beautiful. My dad and my mom married each other for their vanities. And I'm a product of their genitals grinding on each other until one of them puked. Abuse within the family was very serious. I was very hurt by my childhood experiences. And with money, the dysfunction in the family gets magnified. There are more power games, and people are hurt more deeply. And money also affords you the power and the illusions. When you are crazy and have a lot of money, you can live in your illusions forever because people are willing to listen to what bullshit you have to say or do to take advantage of you. This is what I know of my parents and my history. My parents are not happy and they have nothing that makes them happy, except in instances where they use their positions to dominate others to feel good about themselves. 
 
 

And now, Her.
 
Obviously his approach was less than ideal. So how did she (I'm assuming it's a woman..correct if wrong) decide to respond to him? By putting his courtship on public display, in this forum. No analysis, just the image and the thread title.
 
"If this is how your parents met, how would you(sic) turn out?"
 
First of all, the dude wrote you two sentences and you're already thinking of children with him.
 
Holy shit.
 
He's projecting a false image to disguise who he really is, and your immediate response is to funnel him into your life script, without any attempt to get to know him first. Maybe he doesn't want kids, maybe he's going to find out that he doesn't like you.

 

Wait a minute. I don't see any reason or evidence that the OP is "funneling" him in to his or her life script. Where do you get this idea? The OP may have thought about a counterfactual, but she did not say anything that implied that she did anything more than that. And counterfactuals are very valid because it helps us make decisions. And how is an "attempt" to get to know the supposed millionaire important at this point? The OP may be just trying to figure out if that attempt should be made. And blaming the OP for thinking about the counterfactual in this manner is rude.
 

Why should he make any effort to show you who he really is, when you couldn't give a crap who he is? You're not even willing to ask yourself if you like him, but instead, "will my future non-existent children approve of him as a father?"
 
 
It's hard for many men on this forum to process female aggression, and it took me a couple days to see yours. I experienced this post as a passive-aggressive. He failed in his attempt at courtship, and your response was to publicly shame him. The men on this forum were able to process the difficulties which may have modeled this behavior for him. It appears that you weren't interested in such empathy.

 
You don't even know the OP is a woman. I have noticed in this and your other posts that you project negative emotions onto women. This is unacceptable. It makes me feel outraged that you are doing this to people on the boards. You blame without evidence and reason. And that hurts people. I think that the OP is not shaming anyone because he/she posts a picture and asks a question to explore. But let's say what the OP is doing is shaming the "millionaire". What's the problem with that? Didn't you think he's a liar? So, we shouldn't shame liars? Shaming is great for immoral people, so he deserves to be shamed, if your presumptions are correct.
 

A man which is in touch with his emotions would experience displeasure at a rejection, and a great deal of embarrassment and shame at seeing a prospective mate putting his courtship on public display for ridicule.
 
I think that with his message and persona that he is screening for women of low self esteem. I also think that by using public rejection, you are also screening for men with low self esteem. What kind of man is going to try and win your heart when he knows this is the consequence for failure? Not a gentle dude for sure.
 
Modern dating is an abyss.
 
He tends towards one extreme by claiming to be a millionaire. She tends towards another extreme by judging him according to an elaborate expectation of the future. Where two people are supposed to meet and find love, I have no the slightest clue.

 

"Judging him"? Where do you have the evidence for this?? "Expectation of the future"?? What?? I don't see any evidence where OP implies this. A picture and a question for a title and you can understand expectations and judgements of the OP? No, you are just projecting here.
 

[aviet]

Evening,

I posted this on FDR a while back and after I few days didn't get any replies and have only now just come back to it. Some very interesting replies, offering points for many different angles. Those of your with cases of problematic home lives would be interesting to hear on FDR. I've gained a lot of good insights from such call ins.

@MrCapitalism, thanks for your interesting points, but I was not the recipient of this message. I found it posted on Twitter. I gather you think I posted this after receiving it, which is not the case. Also, if you are wondering, I did not give you the -1 for your post. I don't appear to be able to do so and very rarely thumb anything down. You may be right with your analysis. The photo was posted with the message:

No messing about haha #desperate

I agree with you that this is not the behaviour of a desirable woman and that his claim to millions is probably bogus. But if your purposing ultra-attractive, superficial woman online in such a way you can't complain too much.

P.S. I am not a girl. Aviet is a boy's name.

[MrCapitalism]

aviet64,

 

Thanks for the clarification on the post. However, it's still a mystery to me.

 

Did you choose the title of this thread, or was that the title of the twitter post? What was your intention of posting this?

[aviet]

I saw this on Twitter and since listening to FDR my first thought was:

"If This is How Your Parents Met How Would Your Turn Out?"

Previously I probably would have just thought:

1 - He's probably lying
2 - The is ungraceful
etc.

My intention on posting here was just to start a thread for discussion and I think posters Wyatt & Starsky give a good indication of what environment the children of such a union would end up living in.