children

[cobra2411]

Do I need a reason for not want to have children? 

[bootoo]

i think its a good idea to have a good reason for everything you choose to do or not do

[bryndomus]

Why is it that you don't want children?

[Kevin Beal]

Nope.

[lbnuke]

Do I need a reason for not want to have children? 

David,

 

I don't know your life situation at all, age, income, relationship status, history with your FOO, etc. However, I can speak to the biological imperative that drives all of us at an animal level. We in the FDR community are striving to properly combine the rationality of the frontal cortex in making sound decisions with a rational understanding of the impulses we feel associated with the reptilian brain stem as a better way to understand the world we live in, survive and thrive. I agree with Kevin that you don't need a reason to not have kids; not having kids does not require action. You don't need a reason to do nothing. However, from my experience, the reasons for having kids should be thought about, pondered, discussed, and well understood, as the responsibility associated with the action of that decision means another human being comes into the world. 

 

There are many people to contribute to the world without having kids. What are you long term goals and do they include kids?

[shirgall]

Burden of compelling cause is on the "having a child" side, not the "holding off" one.

[RicardoMata]

Nah. However I agree with bootoo.

[Pepin]

To me, the idea of having my life revolve around something for about 18 years doesn't sound very appealing. There would certainly be some pros, but the opportunity cost is very very large. I might change my mind at some point, but everytime I see how much time even a bad parent has to spend with a child, I am relieved that I didn't knock anybody up.

 

Anyway, to answer the question, I think you ought to have a reason as self knowledge is preferable. The reason doesn't need to be an airtight case or argument, but rather just a preference. For me, it is the opportunity cost. For others, it might be the lack of interest. Or maybe they don't have the money and aren't willing to make more money just to have a child.

[alwazqestion]

It's certainly not immoral to not have a reason. However, considering the 4 billion years of genetic history that has resulted in you, it might be a good to understand the reason why that history will end with you. It really is a big decision, either way, and in the interest of self knowledge I think you owe it to yourself to understand the underlying reasons for that decision. On a generational level it seems equivalent to deciding not to eat anymore. It's not immoral, but it does go against deeply wired evolutionary programming which is cause for understanding and concern.

[SirMetalhead]

I can relate, David.  I don't want kids, either.  For me, I'm just being honest, in that I don't want deal with the responsibilities and challenges involved.  Kids are also not a part of my long term goals.  Whether those are good or detailed enough reasons is up in the air.  I don't know if that helps, but I just thought I'd throw my two cents in.

[MMX2010]

You don't need a good reason, but you do need to guard against the lack of ambition / momentum / desire that stems from refusing to have them. 

 

You also need to consider the possibility that you only don't want to have children, because you think women aren't worth committing to. 

 

And you need to prepare for the inexplicable rush of "I want kids!" that will develop once you turn 33 through 38.  If you're not prepared for that rush, you may do something stupid - like commit to the Wrong Woman. 

[tasmlab]

To each his own, but I've found having them to be the most glorious thing in my life.

 

The desire didn't pop up until I was in my early thirties, was married for seven years, financially stable/affluent, and had a wife able to be a full time mommy.  I think all of that stuff makes the decision so much easier.