Self Actualization Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I try to limit my Coffee consumption to once or twice a month when I really need it that day. After I have a cup, I become this super productive, enthusiastic, motivated, talkative, energetic, etc. etc., person. When I don't have coffee, all the things I want to and I know I should be doing are an immense struggle to do and I don't see the point in putting in any effort. My performance at work suffers greatly, I have trouble remembering anything, I'm anxious and quiet, I always think something bad is going to happen like I'm going to be fired from work or something and I have trouble talking to people. Because of all of this, most of my time is spent periodically living super healthfully (exercising, eating healthy, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol, no bread, meditating, yoga etc.), seeing a few benefits in the process and then waking up one morning and overeating a bunch of junk food or other instantly gratifying activities. What's going on here?
villagewisdom Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 The reason that I do it is the deprivation - entitlement/binge cycle. I created mine because I learned as a child to judge food as good or bad. I had to eat certain things at certain times else I was going to die from ill health. I also learned to judge myself as good or bad. When I put the two together, if I eat "bad" food, then I am "bad" and become anxious and self-conscious. So I am a good little girl and do what I am told. After a while the little girl rebels and begins to feel entitled to whatever she wants -- that triggers the binge. The initial release of the restriction brings a sense of euphoria and short-lived gratification. But of course, after a while, I feel bad and guilty that I have been "bad". Restriction is reinstated. It can be food, alcohol, sex or anything else you have been told is "bad". Unfortunately, I don't have an answer to getting beyond it yet. I have an idea regarding letting go of "religious" and other currently marketed and promoted dogmatic ideas about the body, diet and lifestyle but am currently seeking help to make it a reality. I know I have no real freedom until I have self-awareness about it. I have an appointment today. 3
emilia Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I feel productive and like it's going to be a good day and that I will get things done, when I drink coffee. But I manage to do that every morning. It is a small high, that I look forward to feeling, but I don't think it damages me in any way. It gets the day started for me. Your reaction to coffee does sound more intense than mine, but I still kind of relate to your describing it as "feeling like a superhero". It is not clear to me based on your post, why you think you cannot just have coffee everyday. What would be the downside of that? I can imagine that you would rather feel good without an external substance, so maybe I am answering my own question here...
Devon Gibbons Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Are you eating enough? I ask myself that often. I don't plan meals, which is what kills me. I know to avoid this I simply must sit down an hour and think what I've eaten that's healthy and satisfying. I don't have food and I become starved and impulsive. Eating "healthy" as I call it, to me, generally is a shotty mix of spinach, cellery, eggs, peas, and lots of butter. I'm also on a crunch with money. Oh, and beans too. I know I'm not having a balanced diet. If you're binging, it might be you're not eating enough variety of veggies with plenty of butters, not frequently enough, and/or not enough food in general. Don't buy junk food and you're golden. Buy fruit and carbs you like in quantity to subsist as replacement. Maybe don't work out so hard or often. What is your diet?
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