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Posted

Ti be honest with you, that articles was all fluff. You can manipulate language all you want, but that just detracts from the message. Maybe give a concrete example of the situation you are describing.

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Posted

Interesting article. Reminds me a lot of what a friend is going through now. This is the first time I have seen in described in this manner.

 

I would really like to know if there is "hope" for these people.... I have been trying to get through to my friend, to get them to see what is being done to them.... She sees it, but there is like this logic bomb that keeps her from action. 

 

In her case most of what has been described in the article is spot on. The relationship is mother/daughter.

I don't know how it stated, I only know the recent history. The things I have seen:

 

- Convincing her daughter to quit her job and focus on school. (causing financial dependance) She has done this 3 times, in the past as well.

- Knocks, bashes he daughter into doubting her self and schooling choices. She has convinced her daughter to drop our of school twice now.

- Constant gas-lighting, things like hiding her phone when she is already running late for something.

- Changing rules around the house randomly. (creating an excuse to be upset)

- She has most of the family and extended friends lecturing her daughter on how much of a "bad child" she is, telling her that she should be nicer to her mother. (essentially a bad child for standing up for herself.)

 

There is a number of others..... but I tried to group them into categories, with examples. ( ish :) )

 

The daughter is now in a state where she spiralling down, pushing away meaningful friendships in favour of her mother and her mothers friends. Her life has become the family (she is in her 20s btw). Her self esteem is gone, she is almost paralyzed in her own life, worried of what "mom will think". She suffers constant anxiety/panic attacks. Her health is constantly getting worse. She is in a state of hopelessness. There is a part of her that knows its wrong, that wants out... but she can't seem to act on it, and the mother is making sure she is too isolated for her to find outside support. 

 

It is one of the saddest things I have ever witnessed....

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