PetrKL Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 An old friend I haven't been in contact with for some time asked me to be his best man at his wedding. Our life journeys separated by his moving far away before I came across FDR and started going to therapy and now we see each other like once a year. Neither he nor his bride to be are bad or dumb people, but from what I know, they currently seem to be of the widely spread (and to a large degree inherreted) opinion than parenting is something you don't really need to study or particularly prepare for. Both of them were subjected to yelling and hitting as kids (plus you know.. public schools) and I'm kind of afraid that since they haven't been to therapy nor do they take particular interest in studying peaceful parenting at the moment, there's high chance they'll inflict some of that negative behaviour on their future kids (which they plan on having "one day", but are not expecting them at the moment, he's 25, she's 22). Now I thought about having "the peaceful parenting talk" with them, but I'm not quite sure I'd manage to get the message properly accross to them since they live so far away now and we barely meet. I would also hate to provoke resentment in them towards philosophical parenting by sounding preachy. So I thought that maybe 3-5 really comprehensive books about parenting could be a great wedding gift. Both of them love to read (though mostly fiction) and I believe that there are a lot of great authors out there that explain the basics of how not to bring up a damaged human being. So I'd like to know what do you guys think of the idea? Like I said, I'd hate to provoke resentment in them, so I don't want to be the guy who would be like "study these or don't become parents"If you think it might be worth it, what books would you recommend?
J. D. Stembal Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 If you hardly speak with someone, why is he requesting you be the Best Man at his wedding? If it was me, I would politely refuse. You have to speak about the bride and groom at the wedding reception. Standing before all of their friends and family and endorsing the new couple as "people who are neither bad or dumb" does not sound like a particularly grand endorsement. If you gifted one book on peaceful parenting, do you think at least one of the couple would read it? If not, then don't bother because it will collect dust. It would probably be of more use if you read it, and you got them a Kitchen Aid mixer instead. I don't have any recommendations because I do not read parenting books, but the bible on the effects of corporal punishment is The Primordial Violence by Murray Straus. http://www.amazon.com/The-Primordial-Violence-Psychological-Development/dp/1848729537
Susana Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Peaceful parenting is the new it thing anyway so you can be the cool friend by giving them quality books since they are bookworms anyway. Sounds like a great idea to give them books because they can really get into the best authors and research if they ever read it. When they get pregnant they will scramble and buy tons of stuff and books like "what to expect when expecting" and maybe they will get into baby wearing and breastfeeding. But when they get pregnant they will start to prepare. There is the book by Dr. Faye Sneider "The Guide-for babyshowers" and she has other books and panflets as well. http://www.drfayesnyder.com/shop/
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