Is peaceful parenting Easier for white parents?

[Susana]

Hi, re-posting a question that caught my attention in social media

Question?

After seeing most people's parenting choices it made me wonder if it had anything to do with race and or wealth. I mean it seems to be more white people use the whole non spanking and anti this and that while more minorities use spanking and are for things vs. Against them. Why do you think that is? Could it be that white people have not had to worry about teaching their kid that if you walk down the street you might get shot compared to a black mother feeling like she has to teach that to her Kids so they already have so much against them. And even though everyone has struggles history as shown repeatedly that over all it has been easier for white people.

Not wanting to fight about ric or spanking or race. Just an honest debate about why it may be easier for some to be so free to parent and for others it's not that they want to be against these things but it seems to be the only parenting style that fits with what's already against them.

 

[SWMA]

If this is indeed a trend, then I would believe it to be connected to the social narrative they and everyone else are subjected to.

 

That is - they are "victims", they are "being held down" by the establishment. That they are "still" "slaves".

Slaves hate other slaves. Slaves "are worth less". Being subjugated breeds unhappiness.

 

So they wind up being unhappy and hating each other. Seems like good ingredients to make hitting each other more likely.

 

But note that it is not based on "real" things, just on what the narrative says.

 

Yeah this is mostly pulled out of my behind, I'll be first to admit.

[Matthew Ed Moran]

If you take a stand against child abuse in the black community, you are going to be making a lot of enemies, and are going to differentiate yourself a lot from your social circles. It seems (to me, a white guy) especially in the black community that you are expected to take pride in your race, congregate, talk about hitting your children a lot, and bad-mouth anybody who criticizes your culture and superstitions and victim-hood. I'm sure this exists to varying degrees depending within the black community, but to me it seems the black community is still very vocal about keeping their tribe homogeneous and shaming/abusing those who break out of this tribal mentality. I think this starts in childhood, but continues through adulthood, where the threat is ostracism and shame for those blacks who go against what they were born into.

 

Where as in the white community, there is much more room to find those who are willing to break tradition and create their own tradition. This breaking of tradition has probably been happening for a long time within the white community, which is why there are already well established circles of anti-spanking and atheism, which I do not see in the black community. That doesn't mean they aren't there, but I've never heard of them.

[labmath2]

I would think being poor makes it more likely to resort to non-peaceful parenting. If you do not have the time to fully engage your kids because you have to work or do other things, you are more likely to resort to quick style (spanking, yelling) instead of more time consuming approaches. The second aspect is social conformity. Since most people in black communities believe in spare the rod and spoil the child, peaceful parenting is more likely to be rejected as bad parenting. Every time a child who is not spanked/beaten does something unpleasant, people will be likely to associate it with the "bad parenting" on the parents part, while no such claim is made for those who do beat their kids. 

[Matt D]

As I'm sure you know, race is almost always more complicated than the standard narrative. Before your question can be answered I would first ask:

• Are white parents actually more peaceful parents or do they just talk about wanting to be good parents? There is some data about race and physical violence but peaceful parenting includes more than just not beating your kids.
• For instance, black mothers are stereotypically known for being fierce protectors of their children. By itself could this be considered better parenting than the laissez faire attitude of many parents parents?
• Is it not low income that would be the controlling variable in your question instead of race? 
• Now let's say for the sake of argument we've somehow proven that white parents are more into peaceful parenting than minority parents. Thus white children are more likely to be peaceful parents themselves whereas minority children are more likely to get stuck in a cycle of hostility and aggression in parenting. Let's accept all of that. Does that imply we should temper our moral outrage when minorities abuse their children? Certainly to say we should not condemn their behavior would to deny them of any choice in the matter.

I think the amount of propaganda that some minorities receive is higher than what most whites receive. I have talked to some blacks who say they were told how they'd be lucky to live longer than Jesus (33) because of their race. I empathize with any child, regardless of race, who grows up in so insecure an environment due to the choices their parents made about the community with which to surround their child.

[adamNJ]

 

After seeing most people's parenting choices it made me wonder if it had anything to do with race and or wealth. I mean it seems to be more white people use the whole non spanking 

I think it has something to do with the 'Freedom Club'.  Recognizing the full personhood of children is at the frontier of equality right now.

 

Who abolished monarchy first?                                                  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abolished_monarchy

Who abolished Slavery first?                                                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abolition_of_slavery_timeline

Who gave different ethnicities the right to vote first?                  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_suffrage

Who gave women the right to vote first?                                    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_women%27s_suffrage

Who is leading the way on same sex marriage?                        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage

Who do you think will grant children full personhood first?         http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment

 

Look at these timeline lists and tell me who is at the Top and who is at the Bottom? see a pattern?

[PGP]

It's minority "privilege" to hit kids. 

[bitcoin]

I don't understand the reasoning though... If you end up more intelligent, even more clear in your thoughts and reaction to aggression/threat, etc. shouldn't not spanking be the go-to?

[Better Future]

I think your question is equivalent to asking, "Is it easier for a dog to bark than it is for a cat to meow?"

 

I am not saying that skin pigment determines behaviour, I mean that there are cultural groups that share behaviour patterns. Humans group themselves according to cultural and often physical similarities such as skin pigment, which is how we get the "black community". The largest factors in the formation of the black community were slavery and racism.

 

This explains the very disproportionate low educational achievement, poverty, drug abuse, crime and child abuse. Then the welfare state creates dependence and exacerbates the problem.

 

So to answer your question. No, white parents do not find it easier to be peaceful parents. Parents do exactly as we should expect them to, given their respective upbringings, culture and life experience. Dogs bark, cats meow.