Devon Gibbons Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I dream my throat's been cut in a classroom and nobody helps me. Everyone is standing in lines around the boundary of the room facing the center where there was, I think, the teacher - she'd just left and nobody had moved. I hold my throat, falling to the ground desperate that other people help me, but I hold my neck like I hold my voice and can't call for help. But they're just right there... They just stand there, though, frozen. Their eyes are the only evidence of their terror. They're not going to help me. I see how terrified they are. I know I am going to die, but I'm not afraid anymore. I want to tell them something so that they will at least help themselves, and I say, "Don't go out without a fight." But they don't know how. They stand there, looking at me unsure, just shifting a little. It breaks my heart that they just stand there, a couple dozen feet away. They just keep standing there, seeing ME die! And what's worse is that, even after seeing me and hearing my last words, that doesn't even persuade them to help themSELVES. I have to stand up. I'm still bleeding though, and it's very hard to get up. I'm disoriented and holding my neck, regaining my balance. There's only silence in the room. There's a short sword I find on the ground, that I pick up and walk to the open door with, to the left. I look through the jamb and the door holding the sword over my head knowing that she won't expect the slice coming back into the room. Then I second guess myself. The sword is only a couple of feet long and is almost an inch thick, and kind of dull. "That won't cut it.." I think. I put it down, angry that it isn't going to work. I turn around and see a silver flattened and sharper long sword on the ground and I go and pick it up. I turn around with it and go to the center of the classroom. Then a small kid who used to go to my school irl comes at my legs with a dagger and is dangerously playing sword fight with my legs. I am freaking out, he was like a buff mouse. I block him a couple times and he hits me with the dagger a couple of times in the shins and legs and says, "Hey, trade swords with me, I'll give you my dagger and you give me your sword." And I thought that that trade was ridiculous and say, "No." But as I am fencing him off with my sword as he dangerously playfully tries to stab and slash at my legs, I think, "Maybe it would be better than the sword I have considering my injury". I need this sword to save everyone, but I am distracted by this kid and don't know when the woman is going to walk through the open door. And I'm in the middle of the classroom now. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Just yesterday I walked into my old high school for the first time since I graduated. I had gone through 600 plus FDR podcasts, listened to half of Richard Grove's peace revolution podcasts, and gone through the Ultimate History Lesson twice. It was 2 hours past school was out. To get in, I asked two school girls waiting for their parents if the doors behind them were open. They said, Yeah. I went in. The place is a fucking jail. Designed after prisons, for control, Pavlovian bells. When I entered there were security guard teachers in the center pacing this panopticon like center room where they could see down ALL the hallways, ensuring the building was clear. The long hallways were empty, square, and had little socialistic propaganda "inspirational" posters saying things like, "Don't judge others" and awful shit, spaced perfectly apart on the largely blank walls. I don't know what to say to kids here or what to do. The rooms separate all students from one another, all supervision is secret. Like little interrogation chambers. There's the one teacher for all the kids. It is just so sick to think of how much effort is put into breaking the will of cheerful youth like the two girls chatting outside.. The force that is required and the kind of parenting and neglect and the level of evil to allow this all to happen is staggering. And their own money is stolen to pay for this immense prison system. Fuckin stupid as shit. Fucking retards, assholes, goons, apes, militiamen. idk, just a bit overwhelmed.
DaVinci Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I'm confused. Is the second part of your post real life? Honestly, the way you describe things in the second half is very similar to the first half. They bled into each other, and I think that is telling. You sound overwhelmed by the illusion. By the prison.
Devon Gibbons Posted May 6, 2015 Author Posted May 6, 2015 I'm confused. Is the second part of your post real life? Honestly, the way you describe things in the second half is very similar to the first half. They bled into each other, and I think that is telling. You sound overwhelmed by the illusion. By the prison. The first part is my dream, the second is my waking life and thoughts. What is illusion?
DaVinci Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 The first part is my dream, the second is my waking life and thoughts. What is illusion? The way you described walking into your school makes it sound like you didn't think quite that way when you were there. If that is the case, correct me if I'm wrong, then walking back in must have been like seeing the curtain pulled back on Oz. Seeing the illusion that what you now recognize as a prison used to just be "School".
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