Hacking the Gibson (A Dream Analysis)

[J. D. Stembal]

Dear Dream Analyzers,

 

I usually don't reflect on my dreams for very long. I would often have reoccurring nightmares as a child. I had a very disturbing dream two nights ago, and instead of forgetting it, I decided to examine it more closely.

 

A significant portion of the audio content contains a book review (plot spoilers are minimal in case you are worried), which may have contributed to the dream as I had just finished the book before falling asleep.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNBs1i-sMdA

 

Any and all of your comments, thoughts, feelings or suggestions are welcome. I am new to dream analysis and self-knowledge. Thanks!

[Lens]

The aliens are most likely your parents and I thought that the people you are trying to help with your ambulance are maybe your brothers and sisters or people you loved in your childhood who were also victims of your parents. Did you try to undo your parents' deeds when you were a child ? I felt that your parents always ruined your efforts to help/save the people in need like in the dream the aliens were overpowering and they had the last word. The fact that you are human inside a robot body means that you have not lost your humanity and you have not become a psychopath (real robot inside and out) but on the outside you had to show that you are one of them otherwise they would try to destroy you even further. This analysis is my personal view I hope it helps you to understand your dream, this dream shows that you know very well the nature of your family and also shows you your good nature.

[J. D. Stembal]

The aliens are most likely your parents and I thought that the people you are trying to help with your ambulance are maybe your brothers and sisters or people you loved in your childhood who were also victims of your parents. Did you try to undo your parents' deeds when you were a child ? I felt that your parents always ruined your efforts to help/save the people in need like in the dream the aliens were overpowering and they had the last word. The fact that you are human inside a robot body means that you have not lost your humanity and you have not become a psychopath (real robot inside and out) but on the outside you had to show that you are one of them otherwise they would try to destroy you even further. This analysis is my personal view I hope it helps you to understand your dream, this dream shows that you know very well the nature of your family and also shows you your good nature.

 

Thank you for the response, Lens.

 

I was taking the angle that the aliens represented god, but it makes more sense that I was following the whims of my parents by rounding up the lost. I grew up as an only child. My siblings are from my father's second family.

 

Is it possible for me to right the misdeeds of my parents? I often attempted to help other people only to be manipulated and used. I should have been helping myself instead. I buried my wounded child with copious amounts of poison, quickly becoming an addict (a robot).

 

You are correct. I was very close to dying inside, and becoming a human automaton in reality. I was hanging over the edge, waiting for the push into darkness, but it never came. Instead, I stopped drinking with the help of philosophy. Thanks, FDR!

 

During the past few days, I have felt the best I have in a very long time. A fire sprang up inside of me, igniting my heart, and I fell in love with myself for the first time in my entire life. It feels really good.

[Lens]

I agree that we cannot undo the deeds. Sometimes out of hopelessness I would wish my past was otherwise.

 

I think that it is ok to help others but more important to know why do you help those who reject you or use you. I know for a fact that we repeat the past that we refuse to acknowledge therefore it would be very fruitful to investigate this pattern so you can arrive at the root of this and I believe when you know the truth it will protect you and you will be better judge of people in the future. It is beautiful and encouraging that you feel good about yourself and love yourself, I know that feeling very well, and automatons do not feel the self love you are describing I am very happy for you! I think it is a clear sign that you are on the right track.

[Tomas van de Wiel]

First i wanna say that i just find your curiousity towards your self lovely, thank you for that curiosity, as that is what will makes this world a better place

My impression of your dream is very much in the realm of what you already said towards the end of the video and what you said in your second post here.
I also think the aliens could very well represent your parents. Here are my thoughts.

In many fictional stories aliens have a consciousness similar to humans, they can communicate with us, yet in almost every story their motive is to control us and either take over or destroy our world. I believe that when controlling entities, or beings that have power over us are present in our dreams it can almost every time be traced back to our parents, since that is the fundamental source of control in most of our lives. (Since they were aliens, might it be possible you had some knowledge about the consequenses your work for them would have eventually?). You going around in an ambulance picking up people who are in some way weaker than you is a metaphor i can very well relate to. It seems to point to this yern to help people out of their illusions, help them see the truth, help them being motivated to go on the journey of self-knowledge. But, like you said, helping people is never productive if the others do not really want to be helped themselves or if they are not curious about the truth from the start. Trying to help people who do not really want to change will always lead to nowhere, and it ends up being a form of self-abuse, as you are putting yourself in these impossible situations eventually ending up in pain or disappointment in yourself.

So why do we do it then?
You go around in an ambulance, but you are not able to help them yourself. The aliens come and get them and the people disappear, and nothing productive has happened.
The aliens do not want you to go and try to fix yourself, they want you to be busy trying to fix others. This way you spend your time not only being unproductive to yourself, because you could have spent your time diving into self-knowledge, but it also results in the aliens expanding their power, sucking the last bit of life out of you, turning you into a slave robot.

Only honesty and true knowledge of the self lets you see that fixing others is pointless and trying to do it only distracts you and keeps you in the grasp of those who want to control you.

Let me know if this makes ANY sense to you, maybe i'm totally off track here. I'm very passionate when it comes to dream analyses

[J. D. Stembal]

So why do we do it then?

You go around in an ambulance, but you are not able to help them yourself. The aliens come and get them and the people disappear, and nothing productive has happened.

The aliens do not want you to go and try to fix yourself, they want you to be busy trying to fix others. This way you spend your time not only being unproductive to yourself, because you could have spent your time diving into self-knowledge, but it also results in the aliens expanding their power, sucking the last bit of life out of you, turning you into a slave robot.

 

Only honesty and true knowledge of the self lets you see that fixing others is pointless and trying to do it only distracts you and keeps you in the grasp of those who want to control you.

 

Let me know if this makes ANY sense to you, maybe i'm totally off track here. I'm very passionate when it comes to dream analyses

 

If the aliens represent my parents, then it fits perfectly.

 

My mother said to me last year that she never feels sad or happy, just "even-keel". I did not know how to react to the statement at the time, but I now see her as an unemotional robot. My father is the physically abusive, emotionally manipulative one. My mother also drinks a lot more now than she did when I was growing up. My father has been a daily drinker since before I was born.

 

Therefore, my mother serves as my prototype for squelching life, the fire that wants to burn inside me that I felt several days ago.

 

Driving around and picking up lost people is a projection of my desire to help others, and wanting to see them thrive, but I absolutely have to heal myself first! Without knowing why I want to help people, I risk harming them or myself.

 

Last year, I had the idea that I could save my family. Now, I'm leaning towards the reality that nothing I could ever do or say could ever save them. They are going to have to fend for themselves, just like I must do now.

 

Full disclosure...

 

...there is one part of the dream that I purposely omitted when recording it. It was very disturbing to me, and I am ashamed of it, but it may be the impetus for wanting to talk about this dream so openly. I should not have withheld this and I will talk about it in the follow up.

 

In addition to abducting and "healing" people, I had sexual intercourse with the patients in what can only be called a clinical setting, a cross between Alien Autopsy and Masters of Sex. Consciously, my mind is suggesting that this means that my parents (aliens) powerfully influenced my sexual experiences as an adult. They were the ones who decided to have my baby foreskin amputated, at the very least. However, I fear there is more to it.

 

I often fear and suspect that there is more sexual abuse in my past than my genital mutilation as an infant. I already equate neonatal circumcision to child rape morally, and it is likely more devastating to sexual health and wellness in the long run. When I consciously connect with my mind, I cannot conceive who in my childhood would have been a possible child rapist, so I cannot assume that I was raped as a child. If I honestly explore my dreams, however, will my unconscious reveal to me that I was raped as a child and who did it?

 

This thought is very terrifying to me!

[Tomas van de Wiel]

I'm very sorry to hear that they chose to circumcise you as a baby, that's a horrible horrible thing.

Of course i have no clue wether eventually your dreams will reveal more on this subject, but i think it is wise to be open for other explanations as well.
For instance, since you did not help those people based on their virtues, or their willingness to grow and be virtuous, could it be that your sex drive or wish to find a sexual partner had something to do with it?
It happening in a clinical setting might point to you trying to help them by giving them "love" in the form of sex, since that is often the only way in which dysfunctional/not virtuous people feel like they are loved.

It has also been my experience that when there is no capacity for true love and intimacy, people tend toward having sex to live in the illusion that there is such a capacity.

I'm just shooting my thoughts here. Basically what i'm saying is, it might be more productive to find out why having intercourse with these kinds of people still play a part in your unconciousness.
Again, tell me if i'm making any sense here.

And thank you for your full disclosure, i appreciate your courage to be completely honest, most importantly to yourself!

[J. D. Stembal]

I'm very sorry to hear that they chose to circumcise you as a baby, that's a horrible horrible thing.

 

Of course i have no clue wether eventually your dreams will reveal more on this subject, but i think it is wise to be open for other explanations as well.

For instance, since you did not help those people based on their virtues, or their willingness to grow and be virtuous, could it be that your sex drive or wish to find a sexual partner had something to do with it?

It happening in a clinical setting might point to you trying to help them by giving them "love" in the form of sex, since that is often the only way in which dysfunctional/not virtuous people feel like they are loved.

 

It has also been my experience that when there is no capacity for true love and intimacy, people tend toward having sex to live in the illusion that there is such a capacity.

I'm just shooting my thoughts here. Basically what i'm saying is, it might be more productive to find out why having intercourse with these kinds of people still play a part in your unconciousness.

Again, tell me if i'm making any sense here.

 

And thank you for your full disclosure, i appreciate your courage to be completely honest, most importantly to yourself!

 

Yes, I have often pursued sexual relationships where there was no true love and little real intimacy.

 

My models for human relationships are my parents, and aside from sometimes violently arguing or fighting, they acted coldly and uncomfortably around each other. The phrase my mother used to describe herself springs to mind again.