MysterionMuffles Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 http://www.bustle.com/articles/80357-14-signs-someone-is-a-grown-ass-man-because-dating-him-is-so-completely-different I think this article's legit and aligned with promoting healthy relationships. Your thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt D Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I think most of the advice on what to look for in a man is positive but there is not a mention on what kind of woman this dreamy man will want to be with. Look at the passivity of the language: "No matter how he comes into your life, or how long it takes you to find him..." We know how he comes into your life. It's because you're hot. That's why he's there and women know it. "He cares enough about your partnership to wine and dine you." Translation: He will dig deep into his wallet for you. Men have so much experience telling the truth because they have to repeat what women say in a straightforward way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Dig the article. Would love to see a mirror article for what qualities identify a grown-ass-woman as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Mister Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 right it all sounds good except there is kind of an implication that you deserve such a man because you have a vagina 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I take some issues with this piece. Mainly that the implications are that unless men can satisfy women in a relationship then they're not a "grown ass man" but presumably a child? This is what is known as shaming tactics, they're frequently used by women to manipulate men by shaming them in to accepting raw deals that benefit women at the expense of men. So for example It’s an experience every last one of us deserves to have This seems to assume that all women deserve a "grown ass man" irrelevant of their own behaviour which is extremely hypocritical. You realize that most of your relationship issues prior stemmed from simply being with someone who was completely not ready to be committed This takes away agency from women and infantilizes them, so it's not the fault of the woman who picked previous partners for bad reasons, it's the mans fault, they put non-committed men as the fault and not their ability to pick good men. Oh if only every single man was a committed grown ass man then women's choices wouldn't matter at all. He’s busy with his career, and supports you endlessly in yours Translation, he's independent and career driven but I can't be the same, I have to have the expectation that he'll support me while supporting himself. This is another inherent double standard, hey guys don't you know you're not real men unless you support both yourself and your partner by default. I find this also quite funny, in once sentence they crave objectivity: He can view things objectively But then in the next sentence they demand they see you as equals even in cases where you're objectively not equal, for example opinions formed on something that one person knows more about: You being his absolute equal isn’t just something he says. You see this in the way he speaks to you, brings up hard topics, compromises, respects your opinion, etc. He doesn’t talk down to you. He doesn’t treat you like a child to which things need be explained. Even if he has a better grasp on the topic at hand, he regards you as an equal, with an opinion as valid as his, and he responds accordingly. People aren't equal, there's a tough objective truth for you to swallow, your opinion on something is less valid if you know nothing about it, objective truths exist and sometimes you're just wrong and need correcting on it by someone who knows better. Oh it just goes on and on. This is clearly an article of why women are entitled, they feel they deserve all this irrelevant of their own behaviour, they have a laundry list of what they expect from men, half of which they're hypocritical about and the rest they have no such expectations of behaving like that themselves, others are downright contradictory. How about women apply these standards to themselves first and maybe they'll attract men who are also like this. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatrickC Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 "You realize that most of your relationship issues prior stemmed from simply being with someone who was completely not ready to be committed" Yes, this is the giveaway to the disingenuous nature of this article. Sounds like an article for the Good Men Project. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. D. Stembal Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I think most of the advice on what to look for in a man is positive but there is not a mention on what kind of woman this dreamy man will want to be with. A feminist, obviously. He remembers to call his mom and send her flowers on Mother’s Day... He can cook himself a meal and clean his apartment. I'm not sure what the above has to do with self-motivation. The doting on your mother requirement is all about the woman herself and not the man's mother. Women generally get turned off if you try to cook and clean for them, at least in my experience, but if you eat their food (and like it) and let them clean your apartment, they will want to fuck you silly. However, I concede that my choice in women has historically been very poor. As a related footnote, my father is a much, much better cook than my mother. The rest of the article smacks of the feminist double standard. Let me know if you disagree. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it. It’s not about showing off, or asserting dominance by spending money on you (hell, who’s to say he even pays every time?) — it’s about spending time together, and taking time to make that time special. Any man who has been called a cheap bastard by a woman is probably shaking his head. He never thinks he owns you, or takes your company for granted. He does not regard you, or your relationship, or your love, as something he just “has” indefinitely. Marriage vows usually read, "Til her discontent with you do you part." You being his absolute equal isn’t just something he says. You see this in the way he speaks to you, brings up hard topics, compromises, respects your opinion, etc. He doesn’t talk down to you. He doesn’t treat you like a child to which things need be explained. Even if he has a better grasp on the topic at hand, he regards you as an equal, with an opinion as valid as his, and he responds accordingly. Didn't she say that men and women are absolute equals? My brain hurts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt D Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 People aren't equal, there's a tough objective truth for you to swallow, your opinion on something is less valid if you know nothing about it, objective truths exist and sometimes you're just wrong and need correcting on it by someone who knows better. I know what it might mean to say "equal partnership" in a relationship, i.e. decisions will be arrived at by talking things out together, but the author demonstrates quite clearly a lack of understanding for this definition of 'equality'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Dig the article. Would love to see a mirror article for what qualities identify a grown-ass-woman as well! definitely! me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 "You realize that most of your relationship issues prior stemmed from simply being with someone who was completely not ready to be committed" Yes, this is the giveaway to the disingenuous nature of this article. Sounds like an article for the Good Men Project. hm right it has NOTHING to do with your ability to make good choices Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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