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My Dream with Stefan


AustinJames

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I thought I'd share a dream I had last night.  I'd be open to any analysis you might provide.

 

I was wandering through a suburban neighborhood with tools in my hands.  Something like a shovel in my left hand, and a power tool of some kind in my right.  The power tool was not a real brand; it had CAD written on it.

 

I stopped at a corner, and saw a team of laborers preparing to do some yard work.  Then I saw Stefan come out of the house and walk to the corner of the lot, in my direction.  He was priming a weed whacker.

 

Glancing at my tools, he said, "Going to do some yard work?"  I realized I didn't actually know what I was doing with the tools.

 

"Just looking for some work to do,"  I replied.  "It looks like you've got quite the project started.  Need an extra hand?"  He gestured for me to join him.

 

He led me to a line of potted plants on a plot of bare, dry soil.  I asked him some question about what he wanted planted where.  He interrupted me with a wave of his hand and said, "I don't care, just put them all in the ground.  I trust you to know just as well as I could tell you."

 

A few times throughout the dream, I asked him about whether the plants were placed correctly, to which he again waved his hands and told me to just get it done; it was fine.

 

Once all the plants were submerged in the dry soil, it occurred to me they would die if there was not enough moisture.  As I was asking if he had a hose to water them, I felt a stabbing, burning sensation all over my back.  Then I looked down and saw a stream of red ants coming from the place I had disturbed the soil, and on up my legs.  I asked Stefan (and someone next to me, who I never really saw) to get them off of me.

 

Then I woke up.  While some of the implications of this dream seem obvious to me, a casual observer may have a better angle on it.  As I attain more self-knowledge, I've noticed my dreams have become more vivid, and their meaning more overt.

 

It seemed to me that "the work" was both the work of self-knowledge, and of spreading philosophy in the world.  I had some 'tools' associated with philosophy before, but I didn't know what I was doing with them.  I don't know what the implications of "CAD" might be, but I suspect it is not random.

 

Stefan in the dream saw that I had tools associated with his own endeavors, and asked about them.  This seems pretty straightforward; when I first heard Stefan's work in real life, I noticed for the first time the tools that I carried, and saw how they might be of use.  Stef's garden in the dream was the place I could best put my skills to use.  In real life, it is in the endeavor of spreading philosophy and attaining self-knowledge, which I share with Stef, that I can achieve the greatest fulfillment.  

 

I'm not quite sure what the implications of the planting process are.  I can only relate it with Stefan's insistence that shouldn't be looked at as someone to follow or obey, but rather someone to listen to, and then make decisions according to principles.  Maybe his dismissiveness with the specifics of the planting has to do with an eagerness to move the work along, and not get caught up on details.

 

The red ants seem to me to be the worldly consequences of engaging in this work.  Just like one must accept the possibility, even likelihood of things like biting insects while gardening, one must equally anticipate the sting of social ostracism and rejection when engaging with self-knowledge and living by principles.

 

Just thought I would share, in case any find this interesting.  Upon further consideration, it was surprising to me, after three years listening to Stefan, that this was the first dream I can recall with him.

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It's a very nice dream you had. Generally CAD means Canadian Dollars like USD maybe because of the fact that Stefan lives in Canada. The seeds are the plants for the future like investment so you plant the seeds of self knowledge and it will grow with time. The ants were the obstacle to your curiosity and joy and with this work you want to overcome the fear of them, maybe  these ants are maybe the people of your childhood that still scare you deep down at an unconscious level also ant and aunt phonetically are close, did you have an abusive or scary aunt in your childhood? I liked the fact that Stefan would say to you to do it anyways I understood that he is asking you to have more courage facing the unknown. I hope this helped you.

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These are just my thoughts. Idk, but to me it seems like Stefan totally set you up to fail. 

 

All of those dismissive waves of the hand, that's passive aggressive.

 

Then when you ask him to validate your work, then and only then, after letting you fail, he blows up and rages at you. And all those little fire ants biting you represent his suppressed rage released. 

 

Idk if Stefan really represents Stefan irl to you or not, maybe it's some other situation or person who is using you like this. 

 

You're supposed to water soil before planting to avoid the earth from sucking away all the moisture in the plant. Maybe you represent the plant. Maybe since Stefan's there it represents a fundamental aspect about yourself. I've had dreams with Stefan too. I was in his home in a small book closet with a desk with books everywhere. Still don't get it.

 

 

I'd examine your recent choices and relationships. And people who are passive aggressive. imo

 

Maybe you need more water. Are you dehydrated?

CAD machines.. CAD also stands for Computer-Aided Design

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These are just my thoughts. Idk, but to me it seems like Stefan totally set you up to fail.

 

All of those dismissive waves of the hand, that's passive aggressive.

 

Then when you ask him to validate your work, then and only then, after letting you fail, he blows up and rages at you. And all those little fire ants biting you represent his suppressed rage released. 

 

Idk if Stefan really represents Stefan irl to you or not, maybe it's some other situation or person who is using you like this. 

 

You're supposed to water soil before planting to avoid the earth from sucking away all the moisture in the plant. Maybe you represent the plant. Maybe since Stefan's there it represents a fundamental aspect about yourself. I've had dreams with Stefan too. I was in his home in a small book closet with a desk with books everywhere. Still don't get it.

 

 

I'd examine your recent choices and relationships. And people who are passive aggressive. imo

 

Maybe you need more water. Are you dehydrated?

CAD machines.. CAD also stands for Computer-Aided Design

That's an interesting analysis.  Perhaps I didn't describe the dream as effectively as I could have.  When I asked Stefan about the placement of the plants, he doesn't "blow up" or "rage."  He was smiling in the dream.  The dismissive hand-waving did not seem to be passive aggressive at all.  Rather, it was as though he was affirming that he trusted me to determine the placement; that he had faith in me.

 

I do a bit of gardening myself, and I know I'm supposed to put water in the hole before I place the plant in the ground.  I remember having this thought in the dream, that I should have put water in the hole, right before I felt the ants.  Perhaps the order of these is significant.

 

Thank you for your thoughts.  What else do you remember about your dream in the closet with the books?

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Here are my thoughts Austin,

 

On one hand you are on your own when it comes to self knowledge and the spreading of philosophy. Somebody cannot do these things for you. Yet when things get tough you may need someone to help you out.

 

I think the fact that you felt a burning sensation on your back from the ants is very significant. Our backs are a place on our body that we cannot reach on our own. We need help from somebody else. Someone else needs to step in to knock these fire ants off of you. This is why we say "I got your back" to our friends. The back is vulnerable.

 

I think your subconscious could be telling you that you may need help from somebody else when self knowledge or the spread of philosophy get challenging.

 

Do you have people in your life who have your back when things get challenging? Or have you experienced any difficult challenges lately that you felt like you could have used some help with?

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My thoughts are you are spot on with your analysis. Except perhaps for the ants. And I would say not so much worldly consequences specifically but more like your response to the consequences. In adding the water (practicing in the world keeps the ideas growing) you again went to Stef for the hose and felt the need of help from someone unknown and almost unseen. It's subtle. I'm thinking perhaps your area of self knowledge currently in progress is reconciling knowing you will feel alone and an outcast and the self knowledge you are seeking is in how you will deal with it. Usually you are stung by it. But how can you be different? How can you be strong on your own? How can you take the sting out of it? How can you be more secure in yourself?

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