Calling women "Unicorns"

[bitcoin]

I have no philosophical argument or topic to bring up but I did want to mention this. I wonder if anyone shares this reaction?

 

It really bugs the sh*t out of me when people refer to virtuous women as unicorns.

 

That sounds so incredibly debilitating. Like not only will I never be loved from a woman, but I will never even find one capable of such a thing.

 

Beyond that, it feels highly provocative, immature and deeply undermining of any present or future motivation. 

 

For what it is worth, it also seems to me like the vast majority of men who refer to these women as "unicorns" have basically avoided all accountability and self-responsibility in their relationships; and instead blame the woman.

 

I know that women refer to themselves as unicorns sometimes as well, but much more often its from men; and those are just my observations.

 

 

Does anyone share this reaction?

[PatrickC]

Yeah, it's definately an annoying term Jake, because it infers that they don't exist. Which I know is BS, as I know quite a few virtuous women myself and ones that also have great romantic relationships and marriages too.

 

Of course for those men that keep seeking women in the same places or never reassessing their own values, then it can probably feel like that for them.

[MMX2010]

Yes, JakeN.  I definitely agree with you. 

 

Esteemed RVF member, scorpion, ranted against a certain subset of porn by stating, "The guys who watch this kind of porn are voluntarily psychologically cuckolding themselves. It's no wonder all kinds of weird fetishes and ED are on the rise. I can't imagine how messed up your brain and sexuality get if you watch hardcore porn like that for years on end."

 

Calling women unicorns can have the same effect on the brain, although I appreciate it when calling them unicorns is a tongue-in-cheek way of saying, "Don't automatically assume, during the initial stages of getting to know her, that her virtuous act is a genuine lifelong behavior pattern." 

[shirgall]

Going one more syllable to "four leaf clovers" would lose 1/3 of the audience due to waning attention span.

[Jack]

I also find the term "unicorns" inappropriate. It's very discouraging to men who get into a bad relationship, then turn online and get the message that "all women are that way, you're better off alone." The men who believe that message start looking down on women and become inverse feminists. I've noticed in several of the FDR call-in shows with women that the comment section becomes filled with people saying "she's riding the cock carousel". The name calling and automatic dismissal are exactly the same strategies that feminist use to extract to shame men. 

 

A second problem with calling good women "unicorns" is that it shifts the locus of control for the relationship to an external source. A man who starts to believe good women are unicorns won't work as hard in relationships and is much more likely to dismiss a good woman for a single red flag, because after all, "good woman are unicorns."

 

Lastly, telling women that the only women among them worthy of relationships are "unicorns" will discourage women from working hard in relationships. If they believe failure is inevitable, and no matter how hard they work, their man will leave because, "she isn't a unicorn," women won't work nearly as hard to become good women.

 

Sorry if I got a bit ranty there. I've been thinking a lot about how abusive I've seen the MGTOW community get towards women, and I've gotten my Jimmies rustled. Maybe I shouldn't complain though, after all it's less competition for me!

[J. D. Stembal]

I also find the term "unicorns" inappropriate. It's very discouraging to men who get into a bad relationship, then turn online and get the message that "all women are that way, you're better off alone." The men who believe that message start looking down on women and become inverse feminists. I've noticed in several of the FDR call-in shows with women that the comment section becomes filled with people saying "she's riding the cock carousel". The name calling and automatic dismissal are exactly the same strategies that feminist use to extract to shame men.

 

This stance is not the male analog of a feminist, or the inverse of feminism, because men cannot lobby the state for sanctions against women, while women easily can. See alimony, family law, child support, Obamacare, etc. A man's only ammunition is his rational judgement, choice, and resources. The ad hominem above is counter-productive. Relationships will become less toxic for men when women stop sharpening the knives of the butchers.

 

A second problem with calling good women "unicorns" is that it shifts the locus of control for the relationship to an external source. A man who starts to believe good women are unicorns won't work as hard in relationships and is much more likely to dismiss a good woman for a single red flag, because after all, "good woman are unicorns."

 

Yes, just as men need to take responsibility for their choice in a mate, women also need to accept the same level of self-determination. This is a very good observation. Unicorn sometimes suggests that a good woman does not exist, as others have already pointed out.

 

 

Lastly, telling women that the only women among them worthy of relationships are "unicorns" will discourage women from working hard in relationships. If they believe failure is inevitable, and no matter how hard they work, their man will leave because, "she isn't a unicorn," women won't work nearly as hard to become good women.

 

I don't see this scenario happening because any man who convinces himself that a good woman is a mere fiction cannot rationally enter into a relationship with a woman unless he is a masochist. Then, we can only wish him luck because he will need it.

 

Discouraging women from entering into relationships, or working hard to negotiate a satisfying outcome, is an example of using an external pressure to dictate how a woman behaves. If a woman enters into a relationship with this attitude, she is releasing responsibility for her judgement. It is a built-in excuse like proclaiming that there are no virtuous women.

 

When I see the word, unicorn, I immediately translate it in my head to unicum, which is the unique or best example of a subset of things, in this case women. The good woman, whatever that may mean to you, is out there. She exists. She is uncommon at the moment. When the state implodes, and the social programs that cater to women start to deteriorate, we will likely see many of them crawling out of the ruins, seeking virtuous men.

 

[Renaissance Man]

Calling women "unicorns" pedestalizes them. Someone on a pedestal lowers your own value (A quick way to attract people with low self esteem). When I hear man say they're looking for their "unicorn" I hear a man who's happiness is dependent on women. Men are getting this idea of finding the "one", when there is no such thing. Instead, men need to learn what they like/dislike, tolerate/avoid. 

 

Stop using the word "unicorn". Become the prize. Become a man worthy of love and love will find you.

[shirgall]

Apparently a "unicorn" is a millennial who hasn't tried online dating: http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/arts/im-a-millennial-with-no-online-dating-experience-aka-a-unicorn-7539316 

[SamuelS]

I thought it came from the hot/crazy matrix.

 

 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7uTAGRb9sJc

[snapdragon]

u

[Better Future]

Doesn't it just refer to the fact that virtuous women are very rare? Maybe virtuous men are also unicorns.