Is monogamy really the best way to raise kids?

[Matt D]

 

For the same reason that you cannot replace a superstar 60-goal scorer with three forwards who scored 20 goals each last year.    People with heavily r-selected personalities are inherently lazy and entitled, so five-of-them-added-together DO NOT equal one highly successful individual with K-selected personalities. 

 

Furthermore, among the polyamorous scene, the men are (by and large) not physically attractive, not well-versed in Pick-Up Artistry, and are between 22 and 29 (ages where their Sexual Market Value, as men, is comparably low).  The women are (naturally) dissatisfied with these men but don't want to dump them - (because the traits that make them un-sexy make them good prospective fathers and providers later on in life) - and use the "I'm polyamorous!" argument to keep those men around. 

 

 

In the dating market, as a man, you compete with: (1) Every boyfriend / lover that your woman has ever had, (2) Every fantasy relationship she can develop - (whether involving men, women, or men-and-women simultaneously), and (3) Every fantasy-of-you that she can develop - (for example, you-with-bigger-muscles, you-with-more-empathy, you-with-more-money). 

 

Your emotional perception of what women want and how they feel when looking for boyfriends and lovers is way, way, way off. 

 

You're still putting words in my mouth. We haven't established that polyamory necessarily mean r-selected strategy. I'm saying it might be possible for polyamorous groups to be very k-selected.

 

My perception of what healthy women want, i.e. honesty, seems to be working out for me so far.

[MMX2010]

You're still putting words in my mouth. We haven't established that polyamory necessarily mean r-selected strategy. I'm saying it might be possible for polyamorous groups to be very k-selected.

 

No doubt.  But you rejected my explanation (in another thread) for why this is so.  Stefan unites sexuality and reproduction into r-selection and K-selection - (which makes sense when there's no such thing as birth control).  But this modern society has birth control and so sexuality and reproduction are separate. 

 

So there are four possibilities:

 

(1) Double r-selected: Black ghettos, trailer parks, poor neighborhood.

 

(2) Double K-selected: Highly religious and conservative environments. 

 

(3) r-sexual, K-reproduction: Modern society.

 

(4) K-sexual, r-reproductive: Does not exist, but it looks like Gattaca, 1984, and Brave New World - wherein the largest number of highly genetically fit individuals are mandated to mate by a tyrannical government BUT you can have sex with anyone you want (so long as you use birth control). 

 

 

 

 

My perception of what healthy women want, i.e. honesty, seems to be working out for me so far.

 

"Working out for you" - compared to what? 

 

On a completely related note, I noticed you didn't answer my earlier question: "Does the wants-to-be-polyamorous woman you're dating have regular menstrual periods *AND* tries to go out without you during the four days before she's scheduled to menstruate?"