Is there any merit in Confession?

[AynRand]

I'm certainly not a catholic, and despise a lot of what they do, however I was curious if anyone had any thoughts on the practice of confession. I think it can be positive to express to someone problems that you are facing maybe even therapeutic, and I live in isolation without anyone to do this with in real life, however I hate the idea of the preacher (or pastor or whatever he is) requiring some sort of punishment like 50 hail marries if movies are accurate. I've never been to confession, and I was curious has anyone here been, and what is that experience like, and is their any merit to that practice for atheists?

 

Edit. My bad I should have looked through the forums to see if this topic had already been addressed https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/20893-the-psychology-of-confession/?hl=%2Bcatholic+%2Bconfessionhowever I am still curious if anyone had anymore thoughts on this topic, and maybe a personal experience?

[Jinr0h]

From my point of view, I think that a secular confession is an admittance of the acceptance of reality (on your actions). 

In terms of religious confession, I would say it is the admittance of the acceptance of an ideological filter over reality ( confirming that you buy into the ideology).

 

In my experience (raised a Catholic) as far as I remember the admittance of the immorality of your action is required for penance not just an account of a past action. You are required to indoctrinate yourself further to counter the manifestation of the guilt triggered by that ideology in the first place. You have to double down on your ideology to avoid asking questions regarding religious morality that might arise from the experience of committing sin. 

 

To tie this into the question " Is there any merit in confession?" I would say yes, but that is relative to who you are assigning the merit to. 

If you mean "is non-secular confession moral?" I would say no and again relative. 

[shirgall]

Confession comes across to me as a way to apologize without actually apologizing to the people you've hurt. True penance is about making things right not making obeisance.

[Carl Green]

If someone did me wrong, I'd appreciate a direct apology/retribution attempt. So at least in some cases, I'd say no (it doesn't merit merit ).

 

That only refers to a certain set of the total things that someone could be confessing for, though.

[Camionneurbiker]

In my experience the priest would ask a few questions and offer suggestions on how to improve.  The penance was always a few prayers that would take 5 min. 

[hannahbanana]

I think I only went to confession 2 or 3 times when I was still religious...it was basically small stuff, like I said this bad word, or I lied to get out of chores or whatever...and I had to do a few Hail Marys and that was it. I honestly can't say exactly what I thought about it at the time, and I'm almost certain that I view all of my past religious experiences with a bias now, but I think that deep down I didn't really understand why this was important. Like, I knew that doing it would remove bad things from my past, basically give me a "clean slate," which sounds great especially if you believe in heaven and hell, but I don't think I really understood how saying a few prayers could put me back on track to heaven.

I think that for situations where you really did do something bad, like harm a person, the priest would probably give you more helpful advice like righting your wrong, or turning yourself in if it was something really bad, but I don't see why you couldn't just see a therapist for that. That way, you'd also learn more about yourself and WHY you did something, rather than just fixing it because you might go to hell.

[regevdl]

I was raised Roman Catholic and went to Catholic school, nuns and all.  We had to do monthly  confessions and before any holy-day...it was compulsory.  I hated it mainly because I hated being 7 years old and constantly feeling like I was a sinner and born a sinner and every normal behavior was a sin and I had to admit it even if I felt in my heart it wasn't a horrible sin.  

Like cursing.  Distasteful, yes but a sin?  I rarely cursed but...when it's forbidden, it was 'fun'.  But each year as I grew older I began to resent that children are made to feel bad and sinful rather than just embrace the purity and curiosity and educate based on that rather than on guilt.  I think for me, being a sensitive person anyway, it made me hyper-critical of myself that I probably internalized a lot more guilt than was even necessary or recognized by Catholic standards! lol

 

As a child, I would ironically LIE in confession and make up sins because I felt I really didn't have any (again, based on my standards of the definition of sin.  I didn't commit any of the 7 deadly sins so I felt I was 'all good').  Then after I made up a sin to confess, I would confess that I lie.  I wouldn't admit that I lied in the confession but a general "I lie".  lol  I mean that's how twisted it was for me.  

 

As I got older I would go in and if I deeply felt I had not committed any terrible sin, I would simply state that.  I would say, I feel I have not sinned and just carrying out orders of the teacher/school.  The priest was actually very humble and compassionate by that and a lot of stressed was relieved from me because before I was too scared to dare admit I didn't sin because we are constantly taught we sin and are born sinners.  Sometimes he would gently ask leading questions to make me think internally to see if I am in denial about any behavior that might be sinful.  I thought that was interesting.  I can't think of specific examples since this was decades ago but he would ask some questions about my family  dynamic to see if any reflection could be made and behavior improved on my interactions with family/siblings, etc.  

 

I stopped going when I left home to college and then I did see value in it later on but went sporatically but more importantly I went voluntarily when I felt like it....so fairly rarely. .  

 

The prayers are not intended to be punishments but rather a blessing to cleanse the soul from these sins.  As a child, kneeling in a hot church looking up at a dead guy on a cross and repeating prayers does seem like punishment.  lol  

 

When I would go voluntarily as an adult I will say it did feel good to get some things out, if I was in a circumstance as you explained....a bit of isolation.  It lifted my spirits but there was a vaccum after because a priest will always listen and not judge and maybe offer some perspective and advice but he's not in your daily practical circle.  So it sometimes clashed with the company I chose to keep around versus the company I would be better of having around.  In other words, by going, the value it gave me and was hard to admit was that, I had no one in my life that I could confess to without judgment and certainly without help and support.  So my work began to build a life with such people.  

 

 Overall, my current viewpoint as a non-practicing individual is that it can be useful in a circumstance such as yours but it's not sufficient.  Try to build a life with compassionate individuals who can listen and offer truthful support and constructive guidance and criticism (it can take years to find these people!  don't give up!) as well as use it as an exercise in admitting fault.  Because to a stranger and in the privacy of a confessional booth and with a man who you already know won't get judgey and angry and will fill you with love and confidence, it is a great first step to learning how to admit fault and flaws.  Then practice that outside of the 'bubble' of confession.  It can be a very revealing experience and opportunity for growth.  

Confession comes across to me as a way to apologize without actually apologizing to the people you've hurt. True penance is about making things right not making obeisance.

I agree with this as well.  That's why I stopped going as an adult after even the rare times I voluntarily went.  Many times the priest (depending on the circumstance) would encourage rectifying and admitting/apologizing to someome I admitted to him having hurt.  I don't know if that was just my priest or most do so.  I hope most encourage to personally apologize. 

 

But yes, I think (as I noted before I saw your comment) that it can help you get to that point if you are someone that finds it hard to apologize or admit fault in a safe environment that can build confidence and insight/reflection to allow you to reach a point to then carry out the admissions and apologies to the ones you have hurt.  

[hannahbanana]

 

As a child, I would ironically LIE in confession and make up sins because I felt I really didn't have any (again, based on my standards of the definition of sin.  I didn't commit any of the 7 deadly sins so I felt I was 'all good').  Then after I made up a sin to confess, I would confess that I lie.  I wouldn't admit that I lied in the confession but a general "I lie".  lol  I mean that's how twisted it was for me.  

 

I felt the same way! I was always trying to dredge up any old thing, usually small things like swearing to confess, because I felt like it was impossible to go so long without sinning.

 

Also, since I was a young child, I was confused as to whether making a mistake was a sin...like, if I did something wrong but didn't know it was wrong, did it count as a sin that I needed to confess if I learned from the mistake and never did it again? What if I did something wrong and I already made amends? Those sorts of things were rather confusing to me as a child.