kathryn Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I'm looking for thoughts on the distinction between feedback and criticism. I think the difference is similar to that of guilt and shame. Feedback is specific and constructive and possibly elicits guilt, "I'm sorry I did something bad." Whereas criticism is shame inducing, "I'm sorry I am bad." Feedback is targeted at a behavior, and criticism is directed at the character of an individual. I also see feedback coming from a place of equality and curiosity. Criticism seems to be riddled with contempt. Does this sound right? What does everyone think about this topic?
kathryn Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 Reminded me of this podcast. Thank you so much for sharing this. It was very helpful. I feel a little foolish that I didn't find that on my own. Shifting my distinction here from feedback vs criticism to criticism vs verbal attack. I really like the way Stef discusses the need to ask questions before making any criticisms. Understanding and empathy before a critique. And criticism is so often hypocrisy. One has to be very sure they are not doing the thing they are criticizing the other person about. Again, I really appreciate you posting this. I am going to think on this for a while and watch the video a few more times to wrap my head around it all.
Devon Gibbons Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I'm looking for thoughts on the distinction between feedback and criticism. I think the difference is similar to that of guilt and shame. Feedback is specific and constructive and possibly elicits guilt, "I'm sorry I did something bad." Whereas criticism is shame inducing, "I'm sorry I am bad." Feedback is targeted at a behavior, and criticism is directed at the character of an individual. Does this sound right? What does everyone think about this topic? I would almost say that you have it backwards and that feedback is targeted at the character of the individual and that criticism is targeted at the behavior. Criticism is more about using good judgment, whilst one doesn't necessarily have to have good judgement to offer feedback to you, as it is their opinion. I think it is important to find the definitions of the words of criticism and feedback before advancing as well as look at some of Stefan has offered on the two subjects as I believe his reasoning to be valid and helpful. Reminded me of this podcast. I recommend this as well. I even created a little snippit of this podcast that I listen to every now and then to remind me, you can download it here: http://s000.tinyupload.com/download.php?file_id=85466905239370285364&t=8546690523937028536414626 He has metaphorical locks that a person must pick to have access to the control room in his head. I think it's important to memorize the barriers he gives to accept criticism, and ingrain them into your mind: 1.Does the person show empathy by asking questions of me before offering criticism? 2.Does the person know what it is that I am trying to do, right now, or in life in general; does the person know my goals? 3.Does the person agree with my goals? 4.Does the person have a methodology for achieving these goals? 5.Does the person have actual, practical, tangible experience in the achievement of these goals? In regards to Criticism, besides that podcast, I would recommend listening to "Inner Critic: The Role Play" (FDR 1149). I know I'm just linking things, but I think they are helpful and go into a lot of depth. ______________________________________________________________ Feedback I recommend you listen to FDR 1254 "Courage". It is much about confronting relationships in your life and is quite emotionally intense, but he talks about the courage to ask for feedback in relationships and includes a great list of questions you can ask for feedback. I've also created a snippit of those questions within that podcast as a small audio file you can download here: http://s000.tinyupload.com/download.php?file_id=02926681067563272629&t=0292668106756327262904731 ______________________________________________________________ I also see feedback coming from a place of equality and curiosity. Criticism seems to be riddled with contempt. I agree, feedback is more about being on level with the person you are speaking with, open and honest. People will deliver their contempt for you in a "benevolent" package they call "criticism", but that's a lie and not true criticism. In the end, criticism is for your benefit and should leave you better than before you received it. Otherwise, you've probably interacted with a verbal abuser or ignoramus. To add more: Feedback is more about being on level with the person you are speaking with... and criticism usually means that one person has more knowledge or experience and so is on a different level than you. I think that feedback is more mutual, and criticism is more one-way. 1
Wuzzums Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Feedback is advice on how to improve something. Criticism is that plus personal opinion on that something. Basically the difference between "This soup needs more salt" and "I don't like this soup, it needs more salt". An ad hominem is when you direct the insults at the character of a person. Sources: Dictionary
shirgall Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Feedback is advice on how to improve something. I'd go further. The intent of feedback is improvement. The intent of criticism is assessing value, often for the purpose of comparison.
kathryn Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 I would almost say that you have it backwards and that feedback is targeted at the character of the individual and that criticism is targeted at the behavior. Criticism is more about using good judgment, whilst one doesn't necessarily have to have good judgement to offer feedback to you, as it is their opinion. I think it is important to find the definitions of the words of criticism and feedback before advancing as well as look at some of Stefan has offered on the two subjects as I believe his reasoning to be valid and helpful. I recommend this as well. I even created a little snippit of this podcast that I listen to every now and then to remind me, you can download it here: http://s000.tinyupload.com/download.php?file_id=85466905239370285364&t=8546690523937028536414626 He has metaphorical locks that a person must pick to have access to the control room in his head. I think it's important to memorize the barriers he gives to accept criticism, and ingrain them into your mind: 1.Does the person show empathy by asking questions of me before offering criticism? 2.Does the person know what it is that I am trying to do, right now, or in life in general; does the person know my goals? 3.Does the person agree with my goals? 4.Does the person have a methodology for achieving these goals? 5.Does the person have actual, practical, tangible experience in the achievement of these goals? In regards to Criticism, besides that podcast, I would recommend listening to "Inner Critic: The Role Play" (FDR 1149). I know I'm just linking things, but I think they are helpful and go into a lot of depth. ______________________________________________________________ Feedback I recommend you listen to FDR 1254 "Courage". It is much about confronting relationships in your life and is quite emotionally intense, but he talks about the courage to ask for feedback in relationships and includes a great list of questions you can ask for feedback. I've also created a snippit of those questions within that podcast as a small audio file you can download here: http://s000.tinyupload.com/download.php?file_id=02926681067563272629&t=0292668106756327262904731 ______________________________________________________________ I agree, feedback is more about being on level with the person you are speaking with, open and honest. People will deliver their contempt for you in a "benevolent" package they call "criticism", but that's a lie and not true criticism. In the end, criticism is for your benefit and should leave you better than before you received it. Otherwise, you've probably interacted with a verbal abuser or ignoramus. To add more: Feedback is more about being on level with the person you are speaking with... and criticism usually means that one person has more knowledge or experience and so is on a different level than you. I think that feedback is more mutual, and criticism is more one-way. Thank you for the links! I've been listening to them all. I really like the summary list you compiled of questions to ask. That is such a great shorthand to keep in mind. When someone is being critical, I so often go into self attack mode and have trouble thinking clearly. (I haven't finished listening to the Inner Critic podcast, but I identify quite a bit with the subject.) I wonder about people who seem like they understand your goals in a general way, like people that are familiar with FDR and psychology. I've been able to logically examine my parents criticisms and see how flawed and untrue it all is, but I have a harder time with people I thought were friends, people that I do have respect for. In those instances, I felt motivated to change my behavior, the way Stef discusses, but I also felt very bad about myself. I'm curious how much of that is my own unprocessed emotional issues from childhood, and how much was the people giving advice not having practical experience in achieving the goals they preach about. Does that make sense? I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and the links. I've downloaded the clips too! Those are quite handy.
Carl Green Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I'm no behaviorologist but it seems like how you receive criticism has a lot to do with your knowledge of the subject. Only when we're ignorant do we put weight on the opinions of those we think might know more. The particle physicist isn't gonna care much about criticism of his paper from a layman, but his peers/superiors will be able to influence them. 1
LovePrevails Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Here are another couple of approaches I have found very practical and helpful in real world situations
Recommended Posts