BenjaminRVA Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 Just a horrifying read. I know I can't control this kind of stuff . . . . . the best I can do is to be my best self and be worthy of an outstanding partner. But the odds are really good that any intelligent women who is around my age will have come through this kind of culture in college. And, honestly, it depresses me. http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
russoft Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 There are quality women out there, but you have to be a quality man in order to get them. I didn't sleep around before marriage, and I found a woman who didn't either. We both were looking for someone who would be family minded and monogamous, and we found it. So it's possible. Don't be depressed. If you're religiously inclined, there's a moderately higher chance of finding a solid woman at your place of worship. It's only moderate, but the odds are improved. 1
Snafui Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 A clue to finding a quality person would be to notice how they treat their smartphone... 1
Tyne Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Ew. When did young people turn into such old gross creepy swingers. Behavior like this would be abhorrent to decent people. It's sad to see so many potentially good people treating themselves and others like gutters, but stuff like this should make the right girl stand out like white on black. 2
shirgall Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Don't worry, you aren't alone. I became incredibly jaded 15 years ago on match.com, when I could observe the difference in matches when my profile listed a height of 5'9" or 5'10". Just get out there and do the things you like to do, make some friends, and go from there.
MagnumPI Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 I wouldn't worry about the article. It's pretty much all bullshit. Don't go for any woman below 7 and you're good. That puts you out of the tinder range 90% of the time. The other 10% you'll figure out between the time she opens her mouth and finishes her first sentence. Tinder and whatnot are where fatties, idiots and borderline schizophrenics go to get laid. The normal people are doing the same things they've always done. And those are not the internet. Seriously. Go to the most crowded place you can, tomorrow. And count how many people there are. Then go on to tinder, match, pof, whatever and see how many women are online. You'll see there are far more people in real life. 1
utopian Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 This is what Steph, and a lot of other people, don't seem to understand. Women these days are ruined, and in certain places in the world, we don't have anything to choose from, lest we spend our days searching for the needle in the haystack. It's only getting worse. There is no room for a heart in today's world. And perhaps a scarier thought than this is going on and getting worse; with the majority of people like this, who will be left to raise children properly? Who will be there to stand against a real life idiocracy?
Frosty Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 This is what Steph, and a lot of other people, don't seem to understand. Women these days are ruined, and in certain places in the world, we don't have anything to choose from, lest we spend our days searching for the needle in the haystack. It's only getting worse. I tend to side with this sentiment, I think more importantly the kind of women that Stef suggests you look out for, those women who have some self knowledge and know a bit of philosophy and things like that, these women are a tiny number as a ratio to similar minded men, you only need look no further than the ratio of males to females on FDR, who post, comment and attend meetups, the ratio of women at atheist clubs, at libertarian meetups, at skeptics meetups etc. If you want one of those women you need to best a huge number of men in order to stand a chance, those women have a lot of value because they're rare and so get to pick and chose between their best options. That's a seriously rigged game for men and a huge number of men who play, through no fault of their own, will simply fail, it's a mathematical certainty. This is partly why I stick to the MGTOW philosophy - I'd happily play this game if the rewards scaled with the effort in, but they don't, and it's a problem compounded by the fact that women tend to date up in general.
Eternal Growth Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Don't worry, you aren't alone. I became incredibly jaded 15 years ago on match.com, when I could observe the difference in matches when my profile listed a height of 5'9" or 5'10". Just get out there and do the things you like to do, make some friends, and go from there. I wouldn't worry about the article. It's pretty much all bullshit. Don't go for any woman below 7 and you're good. That puts you out of the tinder range 90% of the time. The other 10% you'll figure out between the time she opens her mouth and finishes her first sentence. Tinder and whatnot are where fatties, idiots and borderline schizophrenics go to get laid. The normal people are doing the same things they've always done. And those are not the internet. Seriously. Go to the most crowded place you can, tomorrow. And count how many people there are. Then go on to tinder, match, pof, whatever and see how many women are online. You'll see there are far more people in real life. Guys, these two posts which came one after the other illustrate perfectly the "lizard brain" illusion you need to get over to begin approaching the dating market realistically and philosophically: The idea that it is abhorrent for a woman to judge men based on superficial, primitive, biologically-valued characteristics (e.g. height, access to resources), but leaving completely unexamined and unquestioned your own biologically-driven judgement of women based on superficial and primitive characteristics (primarily physical attractiveness). Have your cake or eat it. Value people for making virtuous choices and expect to be valued for making virtuous choices, or don't and don't expect it in return. I'd agree with both of them that dating sites are an awful place to meet people, especially men looking for women, though. It's a gender difference that fewer women are going to be interested in something like online dating. 1
MagnumPI Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Nope. The study was linked a while back that more attractive women are less likely to be skanks. Notre Dame I think? Point being that if everyone is equal, blind, then you're going to waste a lot of time with insecure fatties carrying crotch rot. Why bother anyway? They're already on strike one and two. Lazy and unhealthy. Want kids? Often harder for them to get pregnant. Then it's only more weight again on top of it. My biggest issue is this "expect" bullshit. Put yourself in high demand and you can write your own ticket. Call your own shots. If someone wants in, they need to make the highest offer. They'll either put the work in or prove you right in initially assuming they aren't legit to begin with.
Torero Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Just a horrifying read. I know I can't control this kind of stuff . . . . . the best I can do is to be my best self and be worthy of an outstanding partner. But the odds are really good that any intelligent women who is around my age will have come through this kind of culture in college. And, honestly, it depresses me. http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating Hi Benjamin, if you don't mind I don't react to Vanity Fair, New York supper clubs or people addicted to their smartphone. I see your point however and I don't know your age, but over time one's wishes are changing. The question is: what is most important to you? Did you make a list of qualities you want to see in your partner? Physical attractiveness, a good character, sportivity, moral thinking, religion, a good mother, stable, comparable income, level of promiscuity, life behaviour, creativity, living close by, etc. etc. etc. Internet dating has worked well in the past for me, however not via the superficial dating sites, yet meeting people over the internet in my opinion is a good way of selecting your preferences and similarities. My current girlfriend I met at an InterNations meeting, a good way to get to know people, it's a group of internationally minded people which should have meetings close to where you live. Try it out? If moral, ethical women are what you want in a partner, I tend to agree with Frosty; they are not abundant and much less than men. For the other parts I agree with MagnumPI; do not talk yourself down, yet make sure she is worth it for you, not the other way around. Best of luck. 2
utopian Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Guys, these two posts which came one after the other illustrate perfectly the "lizard brain" illusion you need to get over to begin approaching the dating market realistically and philosophically: The idea that it is abhorrent for a woman to judge men based on superficial, primitive, biologically-valued characteristics (e.g. height, access to resources), but leaving completely unexamined and unquestioned your own biologically-driven judgement of women based on superficial and primitive characteristics (primarily physical attractiveness). Have your cake or eat it. Value people for making virtuous choices and expect to be valued for making virtuous choices, or don't and don't expect it in return. I'd agree with both of them that dating sites are an awful place to meet people, especially men looking for women, though. It's a gender difference that fewer women are going to be interested in something like online dating. I agree with this, as I have tested the dating pool and found these results about women in no short supply. Hell, I can accept of myself, that I need some kind of beauty in a woman I might want to be long term with, and I can accept women wanting something more "shallow". What I struggle with, is what I was brought up to believe, what the media told me to believe, and what I, and we here at FDR generally believe. When I was young, more towards a boy, I was taught fundamentalist christian indocrination. It was a sin for me to even think about kissing a girl, much less anything else. When one of my friend girls got my number from one of my friends, invited herself over, went straight to my room and laid on my bed, I had a mental breakdown. When I was a younger man, I was taught feminist bullshit from the television. That women are all perfect goddesses who can do no wrong, of which we should all be so lucky to partake of the loving hearts I was expected to know all women have. All I had to be was a nice guy who paid for everything and waited to be rewarded, chalking up my frustrations to sexism and misogyny. Today, I know women who cheated on men and tried to pass off their kid as that man's so that he would pay for it, when it was not even his. I know of women who slept with men just to make a friend of his, who she had previously slept with, jealous. I know women who told men they were going to enjoy falsely accusing them of rape, and the man being safe only because she was recorded on camera saying it. I read articles about women who get 13 year olds drunk and rape them, and then later cry about how taken advantage of they feel. With madness like this so prevalent in realms other than the dating world, I have no problem contributing to its end.
Magnetic Synthesizer Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Nope. The study was linked a while back that more attractive women are less likely to be skanks. What's a shank? a person's leg, especially the part from the knee to the ankle. No really. what do you mean by that?
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