How to overcome the early emotional baggage?

[Magnetic Synthesizer]

https://youtu.be/ypbH5l1J4Nk?t=16m14s

Human action is initiated from an emotional origin. Reason and rationalization is only made post-facto (afterwards). I have actually experienced some level of denial of this, while simultenously being aware of how obvious it is. It claims that my nature goes against the very things I have followed my entire life: The foundational leap of faith, that reason and knowledge was worthy of my time and that virtue(if there was such thing) was worthy of my consideration. That before even being competent in any of that and completely oblivious.

 

As I have previously thought was likely (some antonym of doubt), emotion wether in neutral state, antoagonist or protagonist, was a factor of unlimited potential in my ability to execute my ambitions and that it could comepletly overthrow any rationalization (atleast in the long-term).

 

Right now, I believe that my emotional self is where the greatest improvement can take place. Much more than acquiring better understanding of the world or even acting on it more.

 

 

https://youtu.be/ypbH5l1J4Nk?t=20m54s

''There is a lot you can do''

 

What is it that I can do! Group brainstorm engaged (tanks crush the doors of their garage, aim at each other, look at each other, then play a board game, lets talk.)

 

Extra not very related:

Now I wish I had an unlimited ammount of time per day, that would be great! I don't always choose to do the best things. I rationalized that what I desired was the best for my welfare, therefore the most productive by my value (that my productivity is grounded on), unable to quanitify if my balance of delayed gratification was

1.Oh yeah, the only thing that quickly comes ot mind, is knowing the truth about your childhood and 'vanquishing' it's distortions.

[Marco]

Well, I most important thing is to have the COMMITMENT to change.

Then you will spend time on self-knowledge (and then it's o.k. to only have 24 hours in a day), i.e. journaling, (self) therapy, meditation, deep conversations with other people etc. But most importantly FEELING the feelings from the past. It took me a long time to get that.

 

Only knowing the truth intellectually is not enough, you have to feel it in your bones.

 

Other than that, I don't think much more can be said to this because your post is very abstract.

[Magnetic Synthesizer]

There is 1 specific thing which Is the root cause of probably all the bs I am reffering to (not dominant in me, but dormant, like a twisted temptation that I can revive at will and will only revive at will)

That specific thing is a memory. a very memory that combines all the bs that is the twisting and corrupting of minds.

 

Sadly, it is as old as all my memories, so I will have to rely on external investigation.

 

I will likely need 4 hours of dedicated mental ressources (massive mental memory) probably 20 minutes of just building the framework with main leads before fully engaging whole-mind sync mode.

Fortunatly, it is a factual memory (movement and action and thinking (emotion to, but I bet its recreated because my emotional memory is, lets say, one of my mind's least priority in cognitive profficiency) with unprecise but accurate emotions. The type of emotion, its consturct and its relationships should be easily identifiable (I can reproduce it, and it seems to originate from the same deep space, it is entirely self sustained and is disconected form my modern self nearly totally (all aspects considered) ).

 

But most importantly FEELING the feelings from the past. It took me a long time to get that.

Can you re-animate emotional component of memories (without simulating them) by acquiring the emotinal memory skill decades later? Seems far-etched.

If you can record such things, there's a good chance you have the skill to read them simultenously.

 

Altough, I will say that memory extraction efficiency comes much later after memory retention. It is then plausible. In fact, If I had to bet, its true.