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If you had a do-over...


MRW

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I'm deciding on how to handle the rest of my education and the start of a career. Is there anything you wish you would have done, or wish you hadn't? If you were in your late teens or early twenties again, what kind of things would you get involved in? Would you go to college or something else?

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I would have studied programming.

 

This.

 

But also economics would have been interesting. Media, as television has so much control over people. The medical field would have been lucrative, if I could stomach most of it. 

 

Otherwise, I would have developed an education in a field I enjoy, with the goal in mind of becoming a college professor for it later in life. After all, education is so heavily subsidized/paid for with grants and such, that my income would be fairly guaranteed, regardless of my education's worth. 

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I would have gone to trade/technical school instead of college [...]

I would think more about what skills society would pay me for and less about what I enjoyed.

That is exactly what I did. And if I'm in fantasy "do-over land", I would not have done it. I would have followed education in what I was passionate about. If I didn't know what that was, then I'd take the time to figure that out before doing any schooling.

 

As a "mature" student (30yo) I went back to another technical school diploma program, but this time for something that I was passionate about. If I was younger I would have continued into a masters degree in this new field. But at my age (now 35), I didn't want the student loans and further time delay in establishing my new career, as I'd like to start a family before I'm 40.

 

In my experience, it's not worth getting paid well if you don't love what you do.

 

( FYI: I originally chose to be an electronics engineer because of the money and demand. Now I make less money and I couldn't be happier. I spend my days tramping around in the woods as a forestry engineer. I still get to do problem solving and be creative, but I also get to be outside and active which is what I enjoy most. )

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That is exactly what I did. And if I'm in fantasy "do-over land", I would not have done it. I would have followed education in what I was passionate about. If I didn't know what that was, then I'd take the time to figure that out before doing any schooling.

 

As a "mature" student (30yo) I went back to another technical school diploma program, but this time for something that I was passionate about. If I was younger I would have continued into a masters degree in this new field. But at my age (now 35), I didn't want the student loans and further time delay in establishing my new career, as I'd like to start a family before I'm 40.

 

In my experience, it's not worth getting paid well if you don't love what you do.

 

( FYI: I originally chose to be an electronics engineer because of the money and demand. Now I make less money and I couldn't be happier. I spend my days tramping around in the woods as a forestry engineer. I still get to do problem solving and be creative, but I also get to be outside and active which is what I enjoy most. )

 

All very true. There's a happy medium between being focused solely on what you love and focusing on what you can do for society. I started out a music major hoping to get a job in a symphony... and that didn't work out. Later I became fascinated with science. It wasn't until I was going for my PhD that I discovered I was a libertarian, and got totally disillusioned with academia and the prospect of begging the government for money to dick around all day on a hobby. People used to ask me, well what are you going to do with Biochemistry? And I'd say "I don't know, I'll figure it out when I'm done with school." It kills me that I used to think like that. At least in my case, I definitely should have thought more about what society would pay me to do instead of burying my head in the sand and hoping that something would magically come up once I had finished school.

 

I now have a job that I love and suits me well, but didn't require a degree or the taking of student loans. I wish I would have taken more time to figure out what sort of job I could do day after day and not hate. I'm an exterminator, so I 'm with you on being outside and active! I also get a lot of autonomy, still get to use some of my biochem, am intellectually challenged from time to time, but still have a lot of time to ponder philosophy and listen to Stef's podcasts!

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All very true. There's a happy medium between being focused solely on what you love and focusing on what you can do for society. I started out a music major hoping to get a job in a symphony... and that didn't work out. Later I became fascinated with science. It wasn't until I was going for my PhD that I discovered I was a libertarian, and got totally disillusioned with academia and the prospect of begging the government for money to dick around all day on a hobby. People used to ask me, well what are you going to do with Biochemistry? And I'd say "I don't know, I'll figure it out when I'm done with school." It kills me that I used to think like that. At least in my case, I definitely should have thought more about what society would pay me to do instead of burying my head in the sand and hoping that something would magically come up once I had finished school.

 

I now have a job that I love and suits me well, but didn't require a degree or the taking of student loans. I wish I would have taken more time to figure out what sort of job I could do day after day and not hate. I'm an exterminator, so I 'm with you on being outside and active! I also get a lot of autonomy, still get to use some of my biochem, am intellectually challenged from time to time, but still have a lot of time to ponder philosophy and listen to Stef's podcasts!

 

 

Yes, I didn't mention it, but I'm not advocating going for an English Literature degree if that's your passion. I agree with you (and Stef) on the point that many of these areas of study are hobbies.  And, if you are setup in life and decide to pursue a formal education in a hobby, as a hobby, then that's fine.  However, it is a problem that seems to be very common, which is that people don't think about how their education will transform into a job until after they graduate.  

 

Ultimately, if I had a do-over, it would have been ideal if I had found self knowledge, therapy, and philosophy at a young age.  These are the forces that have had the most profound and positive effects on my life.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm deciding on how to handle the rest of my education and the start of a career. Is there anything you wish you would have done, or wish you hadn't? If you were in your late teens or early twenties again, what kind of things would you get involved in? Would you go to college or something else?

Tricky, I did attempt to study programming while in college and even earlier but I wasn't able to concentrate and understand it because I had too much stress and too little self knowledge. Not coincidentally I have been able to learn to program since deFOOing.

 

So taking a programming degree would have been a waste of time and money, especially since I'm doing it now without having to pay any money.

 

I can't say I'd change any of what I did because I wouldn't have met my wife then, but I wasted a lot of time in school. I could have left high school a year or two early and I could have taken less time in college, or taken a few years off and worked until I was ready to get the most out of college.

 

It's hard to say because I'm not unhappy with life, I didn't take on catastrophic debt, but I could be making more money if I had made different decisions.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Well I'm in my late teens right now, and am heading off to Uni (Aussie college) next year.

 

I'm gonna major in Cinema and Screen Studies, and minor in Philosophy and pick up a Photography and Creative Writing specialization unit.

 

I considered doing a Bachelor of Arts/Business, but there were only like two units in the entire 16 unit field that I was interested in, and you have to choose at 8 from both Arts and Business, so I'm much happier doing just Arts.

 

However, based off the discussions in this board, it seems as if the best thing to do would be to go for a career in demand, rather then a career that is hard to get into (for me, film).

 

Any suggestions about whether to go for your dreams, take a risk and aim big, or go for the demand, be realistic and play it safe?

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One of my mentors, Eben Pagan, uses a mental exercise called "Futuring" or "Inevitability Thinking". 

  1. Allot minimum 30 minutes in a quiet space that allows you to conjure clear images in your head
  2. Focus on achieving an alert meditative mindset through deliberately calm breathing and conscious muscle relaxation that begins from the feet and moves upwards.
  3. You may want to voice record yourself reading the subsequent steps with sufficient pauses so you can devote more concentration to the exercise.
  4. Imagine the ideal world. Do not hold back because of what is realistic. Make this a CLEAR and CONCRETE snapshot image.
  5. In first-person point-of-view, float outside of your body and float on the timeline of your life. Take a glance at some of the events of your past that lie on your timeline and then turn around to head toward the future with that image.
  6. Look at that image. Where are you? What are you doing? What do you look like? Who is around you? Who have you become? How have you contributed to the image you have created?
  7. As you float down toward the future you, what did you have to do to become the future you? Who did you have to surround yourself with to have the strength and knowledge to become that? What did you abandon on the way?
  8. Step into the future you and assume that person's viewpoint. How do they see the image of the future? Do they feel appreciation for how they ended up there? What are you feeling as you feel two separate minds inhabit the body of a major factor in how the future came to be?
  9. Take another snapshot of how "future you" has affected the world and slowly step backward and out of future you. Float up to the timeline.
  10. As you return to the present, notice that there may be clear obstacles in the way as you go back. Remember that you have overcome them already.
  11. Float down into your body and take a few moments to calm your body and regain your awareness.

 

Maybe write down some of what you experienced or draw your snapshots. Remember what you had to become in order to make this future inevitable. If you want to become a business owner, what would you need to learn, who would you need to know, and what would have to change so that no matter what happens, you become the future version of yourself where your desired outcomes are completely natural and inevitable.

 

This is how I decided to go from a US Marine radio tech to medical school. I learned exercise physiology so that it is inevitable that I would have the ability to prescribe preventative measures for disease. I chose a flexible career so that my wife can devote herself to the role of philosophical mother. This is definitely a risky path to live because over 300K in loans is no joke. Maybe my future residency will demand so many hours from me over 3-7 years that my wife leaves me. Maybe I succeed in every aspect of life, except as a father. There are realistic and safe aspects to it as well. I just know that the 100 year old me on my deathbed would have immense regrets had I not aimed for becoming the best version of who I could be. I will not sacrifice my family on my journey, but we will support each other as we experience increasing difficulties in the future.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I wish I had taken a year off school after graduating high school and just worked on my own projects or just gone right into the work force. I learned so much just from working a couple years in retail. I wish I had explored my own interests while I still lived in the financial security of my mom's house. I could have accumulated a little more savings and been a more active implementer of my own goals, instead of just floating along on the same corse as all my fellow classmates.

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  • 3 weeks later...

-I would have studied a lot more math and science. I found a lot of doors were closed to me later on because I did not have the skill level in those areas that I wished I did.

-I would not have taken out student loans.

-I would not have gone to university without a clear career plan in my head. I ended up majoring in something I can't use. While I it was interesting, it wasn't worth the financial cost.

-I would have considered a trade/technical school.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Considered the fact, when I went to school, computers were only in the earliest beginning and in school nobody taught anything about them .....

Considered the fact when I finished school informatics wasn't even on the list of any university .....

Considered the fact except of reading, writing and basic math, NOTHING I learned in school has ever been useful for anything .....

I wouldn't even try for high school again, I would try to bypass the law that says I have to go to school, terminate school right after elementary and go for what I in fact did later on, after I had wasted over 10 years in school, which is learn on my own, research information on my own and mostly learning by doing.

 

My father was an electrician, I learned from him all the basics of electricity as well as some basics of physics, as soon as I was old enough to understand it.

My mother was an accountant, I learned from her all about tax laws, tax evasion of big business, how to make your own tax declaration better than any studied professional could and how to legally get away with paying less taxes and I got from her a basic impression of the financial world.

Those two things I would learn again.

For the rest, I would do near precisely the same things I did, only 10-20 years earlier.

Instead of learning english in school for 8 years without memorizing much of it and then having to catch up 20 years later, learning english in chat rooms on the web, I would go to England or the US for a year or two to learn the language by using it in real life.

Instead of learning the precise dates of historic events, out of which I remember next to none, I would learn computer technology on my own, just through learning by doing.

Instead of learning French in school for 6 years, out of which i remember nothing at all, I would learn programming, rather than learning it 20 years later, but I still would learn it on my own, without any school for it.

I would never try to apply for a regular job, let alone taking one and work my ass off for next to minimum wage for 10 years like I did, I would open a computer repair service in the early days and later on I would either become a freelance programmer or I would open a programming school.

 

Financially, under the condition that I wouldn't be able to predict the future value of something better than I could the first time, I wouldn't do anything different than I did, other than making more money through better paid work.

I believe for the options I had I did pretty well, even though gambling on things like Bitcoin could have made me rich.

I still believe the safe way to go is, just don't accumulate debt, stay ahead of the game, save some money and increase it the safe way.

That might be a slow increase where I most likely won't become a millionaire, but it also is a secure way to afford a halfway comfortable life.

 

This ALL changes completely, if I consider I would be in my teens in todays world.

Today I would do about everything completely different.

I wouldn't learn anything about computers or electricity or any other real world things.

If I were in my teens today, I would finish high school and even go to university afterwards, not to learn anything, but to obtain some pieces of paper that say I'm qualified for this and that.

I would study financial business and become a trader, meaning someone who takes other peoples money and invests it for them, charging a fee for the service.

I wouldn't invest my own money, but I would pretend I do, just to make the people I work for believe I trust in what I'm doing, thus make them trust in me.

This way I would be in the only group of people in the whole game who get rich without risk.

For leftover money I make and don't need directly to pay my bills, I'd buy gold and silver, absolutely independent of its current value and still independent from its future course I would never sell any, until I retire, where I believe it will have more value than ANY pension plan could ever pay me.

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  • As others have said, I wish I'd have focused on practical, in-demand skills. Web design, medicine, business, engineering, languages. Because I was kinda confused and someone else was paying for my education, I spent most of my credits on political science and film theory courses, and didn't work too hard at those, either.
  • I wish I would have started therapy earlier.
  • I wish I would have engaged in fewer drug and alcohol-related activities.
  • I wish I would have developed great nutrition and exercise habits.
  • I wish I would have started working and paying for my life earlier.
  • I wish I would have taken more time to study performing arts, it's a lot more expensive to do so after you graduate. Perhaps it's better viewed as a hobby, but I use many of my performance skills in personal and professional situations today.
  • I wish I would have started my retirement account earlier. Compound interest is the best.

Regrets aside, I learned a lot from my mistakes and am proud of my accomplishments, relationships and wisdom.

 

 

;)

 

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Only thing I would have changed, is that I would have been much more arrogant. To think of all the energy wasted, tip-toeing around lazy, do-nothing nobodies, just looking to mooch of your success and lord over your failures.

 

When you're winning, the loser's want to hate and be jealous (fair enough). But to then try to be nice to them (good sport, humble winner ect) then they'll despise and resent you for it too. Hell no! Never again! Not an ounce of anything for the runner up, other than a smug "In your face!"

 

Not sure if this is "proper" or not (:)) but it sure is the honest truth!

 

Cheers, and Happy New Years!!!

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i wish i had different parents #1.

 

i was always deceived into believing that getting good grades and graduating college was the key to success, of course thats wrong.  i was smart enough to see thru the lie but not sophisticated enough to know that i had more power over my life than my parents led me to believe.  helicopter parenting ingrains that following a system as prescribed by abusive parents and public education is the path to success.  i didnt 100% break myself from that conditioning until shortly after college.

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  • 4 months later...

I would still go to college, but I think I would have majored in something more employable, rather than humanities. They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy security and autonomy, which are the most reliable prerequisites of happiness, in my opinion. Hierarchy of needs and all.

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I would have studied programming.

I did study programming. It was challenging, then 14 years later it was boring. I sell stuff with no formal training in sales or marketing. It's boring, so I chat with you guys to give my mind some challenge.

 

Start your own business, and don't ever sell the controlling share of it. It's boring, but you will always like your primary employer (it's his customers and partners who may give you a hard time).

 

If your father owns a business, try working that. I didn't, and I could have my own business if I had.

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If I had the opportunity to do the last 20+ years (adult part) of my life over again, the things I would attempt to do differently:

  - Get a BS in CS (programming) as soon after High School as I could, and immediately work to find a job (any job) doing programming.

  - Continue pursuing my education in programming by identifying the next hot trends in programming and spending time to get ahead and stay ahead of the curve

  - Take classes on Entrepreneurship

  - Save and then invest at least 10% of every paycheck

  - Spend at least three days per week working out at the gym

  - Learn proper nutrition and follow a slow-carb mediterranean diet

  - Spend more time dating different people with no other objective than meeting different people

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Found FDR sooner (I left home in '06 just as FDR was getting started)

It would have led to me confronting my father sooner.
It would have kept a lot of destructive people out of my life.
It would have given me hope that there were rational people in the world, thus keeping me away from the crazy of musicians, artists and new-agers who did nothing but hoover up my finite empathy and time. 
It would have meant less physical injury and illnesses which I now have due to persisting in the aforementioned mutual exploitations with irrational people.
I would have found a better therapist/mentor who could actually connect the dots, give insight, encourage further exploration and be firm with me.

Job-wise, I still don't know what to do or should have done in terms of a career but I'd have had a better idea if I'd known at least one other person was aiming for virtue and connection. 

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