Three Different Types of Forgiveness

[MysterionMuffles]

 

Short and concise video on the power of forgiveness and dissecting it.

[dsayers]

Whoops! The presentation completely hit the wall at about 3:05. When explaining exoneration, he points out the fallibility of the person giving forgiveness. Then turns around and says that we should accept fake apologies if the relationship matters to us with no acknowledgement that a relationship with somebody who would offer a half-apology after hurting us mattering to us could be a mistake on our part.

 

He made a critical error at the beginning though and revisited it when he talked about release. Namely the harm in failing to process trauma. He opens by talking about grudges and vendettas, but this has nothing to do with "not forgiving" but rather not processing. Processing mostly includes being honest with yourself about what happened, why, and so on. It is a crucial component to self-knowledge. I am very aware of the abuses of my childhood and the way they deformed me during my formative years. While this opens up a world of possibility for me in the present, I will never have the life of somebody who wasn't abused. Being aware of this is not the same as holding a grudge.

 

I will give it credit for briefly emphasizing that forgiveness is something that is earned. However, since it started with the premise that forgiveness is something that can be given, it only glossed over this while mostly saying you should alter your perception of reality for the sake of your own happiness, which I think is antithetical. If we hold people accountable for their actions, we improve the quality of those interactions.

 

"Forgiving" somebody who does not accept the harm they did to you is what allows them to re-victimize you.

[J. D. Stembal]

I am a firm believer that the word, "Sorry," should be expunged from the English language. When has anyone used this word, meant it, and followed up with a commitment to better behavior?

It seems as though that, within human interactions, we are constantly asking for and demanding forgiveness from others. It happens to me regularly, and it sneaks up on me, usually by surprise. For example, I irritated one of my fellow cross-fit members by neglecting safety around her, so I blurted out, "Sorry!" and said nothing else in response to her criticism.

After thinking about it for a few days, I recognize that which I neglected and why, and I will tell her what I have learned and thank her for pointing it out to me with the verbal commitment that I will be more mindful in the future.