Bipedal Primate Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Hi, I just started a Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL6rGSlLAsX0dC3hgus8R6g I have 35 videos dedicated to identifying toxic people. Some of my video subjects include: sex with a Narcissist, how to stop negative self-talk, how to get verbal abusers to disengage using body language, How to tell the difference between a Sociopath and a Narcissist, What is Narcissistic Supply and why do they want it, How to know if you are emotionally healthy, How to recover from Narcissistic abuse, etc.. Here is a one of my favorite videos inspired by many of Stef's podcasts. title: First Date Warning Signs <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wFrWca3M9yk?rel=0"frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Please check out my channel and let me know what you think. Much warmth, Sacha Slone 3
Matt D Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Sasha, I love this! If only more people asked that question on the first date. Speaking from personal experience, if she responds like the first girl run as fast as you can. You must be a teacher; I say that because you explain things clearly without rambling. Keep the videos coming!
Dermot Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 Thanks Sasha. Great information and delivery. I agree Matt.
J. D. Stembal Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 I would appreciate a double barrel shotgun blast of self-knowledge to the face such as this.
dsayers Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Hey, Sacha. Glad to see you're back too Are the two people in the scenarios abused Sacha and healed Sacha? It was challenging for me to visit and correct my past self one I began to pursue self-knowledge.
wdiaz03 Posted December 4, 2015 Posted December 4, 2015 Hi, I just started a Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL6rGSlLAsX0dC3hgus8R6g I have 35 videos dedicated to identifying toxic people. Some of my video subjects include: sex with a Narcissist, how to stop negative self-talk, how to get verbal abusers to disengage using body language, How to tell the difference between a Sociopath and a Narcissist, What is Narcissistic Supply and why do they want it, How to know if you are emotionally healthy, How to recover from Narcissistic abuse, etc.. ... Here is a one of my favorite videos inspired by many of Stef's podcasts. title: First Date Warning Signs ... Please check out my channel and let me know what you think. Much warmth, Sacha Slone Thank you for sharing what you have learned. I would like your opinion on what to tell someone that you have been dating that they are not the right person. Do you recommend explaining why they are not the right person if they ask? Person A: I don't think you are the right person for me. Person B: why not?, I think you are great, I like you. Person A: I'm looking for someone with more self knowledge and curiosity. Will this be acceptable? I can see where person A might try to manage person B's emotions and not be honest about the reasons. or say something like "It just doesn't feel right" "My heart is not in it" "Its not you, its me"...etc. Thoughts?
Bipedal Primate Posted December 4, 2015 Author Posted December 4, 2015 Thank you for sharing what you have learned. I would like your opinion on what to tell someone that you have been dating that they are not the right person. Do you recommend explaining why they are not the right person if they ask? Person A: I don't think you are the right person for me. Person B: why not?, I think you are great, I like you. Person A: I'm looking for someone with more self knowledge and curiosity. Will this be acceptable? I can see where person A might try to manage person B's emotions and not be honest about the reasons. or say something like "It just doesn't feel right" "My heart is not in it" "Its not you, its me"...etc. Thoughts? First I want to say, you are demonstrating a massive amount of thoughtfulness towards the person you plan to stop seeing, this really says a lot about your character and empathic nature. :-) I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation if I choose not to talk to them or see them again. Self-care is my primary concern, therefore I try my best to avoid putting myself at risk of being emotionally manipulated or guilt-tripped by the person I want to separate from. If the other person has treated me with respect and demonstrated a preference for reality over fantasy, then I would absolutely be open to sharing with them how I came to the conclusion that I no longer want to spend time with them. I would also take into consideration the other person's temperament and maturity level. I personally wouldn't waste my time trying to explain the 'why' if I answer yes to any of these questions: Does she personalize everything I say? Does she overreact or underreact when she feels uncomfortable? Is this person prone to being unreasonable, raising her voice, or becoming argumentative? If you do decide to have the break-up conversation, I suggest you RTR(if you've read the book), direct honest communication by simply sharing whatever it is you are feeling in that moment. Real-time Relationships If you feel comfortable sharing, I am curious to know what you decide to do and how it goes. :-) 1
wdiaz03 Posted December 5, 2015 Posted December 5, 2015 First I want to say, you are demonstrating a massive amount of thoughtfulness towards the person you plan to stop seeing, this really says a lot about your character and empathic nature. :-) I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation if I choose not to talk to them or see them again. Self-care is my primary concern, therefore I try my best to avoid putting myself at risk of being emotionally manipulated or guilt-tripped by the person I want to separate from. If the other person has treated me with respect and demonstrated a preference for reality over fantasy, then I would absolutely be open to sharing with them how I came to the conclusion that I no longer want to spend time with them. I would also take into consideration the other person's temperament and maturity level. I personally wouldn't waste my time trying to explain the 'why' if I answer yes to any of these questions: Does she personalize everything I say? Does she overreact or underreact when she feels uncomfortable? Is this person prone to being unreasonable, raising her voice, or becoming argumentative? If you do decide to have the break-up conversation, I suggest you RTR(if you've read the book), direct honest communication by simply sharing whatever it is you are feeling in that moment. ... If you feel comfortable sharing, I am curious to know what you decide to do and how it goes. :-) Thank you for your reply and explanation, This does not apply to me personally but to a friend in this situation. What you said resonates because there seems to be emotional manipulation from a previous breakup andI think it might have been the result of not being direct and honest and of somehow trying to provide a soft landing for the other person. We are picking up on those signs and hopefully this time around will go a lot better. Thanks again.
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