Buddy Bench

[DannyZee]

I live in kelowna BC Canada, im a huge and new fan of the site and am currently working my way through its vast bank of knowledge.

 

i would like to bring your attention to a new addition made to my daughter's public school.

 

Its called a BUDDY BENCH,

 

i asked my daughter, who is in kindergarten, what it was.

 

"Thats the Buddy Bench, if you dont have anyone to play with or just feel lonely your supposed to sit on it until someone wants to play with you."

 

"oh" i said. "Have you ever seen anyone sitting on it?"

 

"No"

 

"Would you ever sit on it?"

 

"No"

 

i didn't press the matter, keeping my opinions to myself. but i did bring it up with a few other parents as i left, all agreed it is a wonderful idea.

 

but i am not so easily convinced, frankly im appalled. what ever happened to asking other kids if they want to play? your shy? then your sure as he'll not going to want to sit on the buddy bench.

 

i dont see how sitting on the blasted thing for any length of time wouldn't make you feel bad about yourself. what if nobody comes up to you at all? or worse, they do, but their intentions are not to play, but rather to make fun of your self proclaimed and pitiful state.

 

kids can be so crule, i wish it wasn't true but that fact doesn't go away if i shut my eyes.

 

why not call it the NERD BENCH or LONER BENCH? i wonder if they drag it into school dances and paint WALLFLOWER across it.

 

i cant even say it would be a good idea in a perfect world, because in a perfect world there would be no public schools to place a buddy bench. and in the world we have, for better or worse, it is my belief that asking someone if they want to play will always be a better option.

 

i got the impression that even my 5 year old daughter wasn't convinced of this and quickly saw how it would be social suicide, even if she couldn't put it to words herself.

 

also, to my dismay, one of the parents said they have heard of these benches going up elsewhere.

 

but as you may have guessed, i am not writing you to give you my opinion, but rather to ask all of you for yours.

 

I requir your insight and am wondering if i am thinking too far into it. should i stop thinking about it? should i approach my school about it? have these concerns, that imedieatly poped into my head upon seeing it, occurred to the figure heads at the school at all? and if so, does that make their intentions malicious? or do the pros far outweigh the cons?

 

since listening to Stefan i have wanted to pluck my daughter from public school, however i work two jobs, my wife is going to college and i simply dont have the expenses to do so. also my wife does not share my growing disdain for the public school system, likewise dose she want to listen to this sites many podcasts on the matter.

 

so for the time being, i am rather stuck, and im pretty sure that it is by design that i am not the only one.

 

thank you all so much for reading my ramblings and i eagerly await your replies.

 

all the best,

Danny.

[bitcoin]

First of all, you are in Kelowna? Let's meet up!

 

I agree I think that is a horrible idea and I can't imagine that the teachers who implement this don't realize its implications.

I can't imagine its not clear to most people that the children would acknowledge and experience this as further loneliness and dissociation rather than an invitation for a new friendship.

 

For what it is worth, what bothers me even more -- and I am really sorry to hear -- that your wife does not share this disgust and appall towards the current education system. I don't think I have actually met a single person I respect (I apologize -- I am not trying to attack your wife)  who doesn't realize the current education system is so clearly corrupt and a horrible, distasteful way to teach and treat children.

 

I think you are best off pulling your kid out of school if you can then trying to approach the school. I am not sure how much impact you can have -- and whether your time is worth it.

"likewise dose she want to listen to this sites many podcasts on the matter."

To clarify, are you saying she does not find value in FDR? Have you shared the peaceful parenting stuff? How did she respond?

 

Personally, I think you ought to figure out a way, any way, to pull your daughter out of "school" and educate and spend more time with her yourself. Its all an investment and if you can possibly afford to, you will fundamentally improve the capacity, happiness and potential of your daughter. Is there much of anything that is not worth that?

 

I am curious -- though I completely understand you perhaps not wanting to get into too much detail -- in what area(s) you work and what your wife is taking in college?

 

Beyond that, come check out the local Bitcoin meetup. Hope to see you there

[ribuck]

All that's needed is the bench: unnamed, unlabelled, stigma-free. The use of the bench will occasionally foster social interaction, just as the playground does, just as the lunch room does, just as the bus ride home does, etc.

[dsayers]

Welcome. Thank you for sharing and for your sensitivity on such matters.

 

since listening to Stefan i have wanted to pluck my daughter from public school, however i work two jobs, my wife is going to college and i simply dont have the expenses to do so. also my wife does not share my growing disdain for the public school system, likewise dose she want to listen to this sites many podcasts on the matter.

Sadly, this is why self-knowledge BEFORE choosing a mate and choosing to have a child is so vital for the child's safety and well-being.

 

So... two jobs and a wife going to college so can't pull daughter out of government school. Pardon me for the crudity of my approach, but from the outside, that looks like 2 people, a child, and internet access. What else is there? I ask for the purpose of challenging you on your conclusion that it can't be done. While your daughter's formative years are mostly done, you still could save her from a LOT of abuse. Just being exposed to this silly buddy bench concept could bewilder her as to how grown folks could behave with such a rejection of reality, yet such a desire to carve up and control little children.

[J. D. Stembal]

since listening to Stefan i have wanted to pluck my daughter from public school, however i work two jobs, my wife is going to college and i simply dont have the expenses to do so. also my wife does not share my growing disdain for the public school system, likewise dose she want to listen to this sites many podcasts on the matter.

 

Are you paying for your wife's education?

 

Who pays for the public school system which your wife supports?