The Force Awakens and Parental Victimhood CONTAINS SPOILERS

[kathryn]

I was so frustrated during the Force Awakens seeing the portrayal of the relationship between Kylo Ren and his parents.

 

Han and Leia are presented as grieving parents who have been burdened by having a son who went to the dark side, but nothing is said about their role in driving him there. Han and Leia spend a lot of time standing around looking into each other’s eyes, but don’t say very much about what actually happened. Leia does tell Han that she believes she “lost” Ben when she sent him away to Jedi training with Luke.

 

We don’t know exactly how old Ben was when the was “sent away,” but seeing as Anakin was dubbed too old to train at the ripe old age of 9 we can imagine Ben was pretty young. This is akin to a child being sent off to military school, which likely broke the bond with his parents, if there was ever even a bond to begin with.

 

Sending a child away at a young age is abandonment. If he didn’t want to go, Leia forcing him to go would have violated his consent, which would have been extremely traumatic for Ben. And if he did want to go, then he already had a bad relationship with his parents and the trauma had already occurred.

 

When you look at the family history, Ben turning to the dark side isn’t surprising at all. His father, Han Solo, is a temporarily reformed bad boy, a strong alpha male, who bails on the family the moment things get difficult, as is revealed by the fact that Han and Leia have been separated for a long time before the film. Han later discloses that he went back to smuggling (“what he was good at”) and divorced Leia when Ben went to the dark side.

 

Ben’s mother, Leia, and his uncle, Luke (who would have most likely become a surrogate father to Ben once Ben started training), were both unwanted and abandoned as children. Leia has never shown even an inkling that she has come to terms with the fact that her father was Darth Vader, a man who committed genocide against her home planet in A New Hope.

 

There is so much unprocessed childhood trauma happening with nearly every character in these films that is generational, starting with Anakin’s single mother, Shmi. 

 

 

In the climactic scene of the Force Awakens with Kylo Ren and Han Solo, I sympathize greatly with Kylo Ren.

 

For one thing, Han was there to blow up the arsenal, he was setting the bombs up right before talking to Ben, and by doing so he would have very likely killed Ben also. Ben was responding to a literal life or death situation, Han came to kill Ben and Ben killed Han instead. 

 

There is also a ton in the language Han uses that reveals a lot about his parenting. Here’s a recap of the scene with my thoughts in italics:

 

Han Solo: Ben!
[Conversation starts off with Han disregarding his son’s preferences. Ben has made it known that he wishes to go by his new name, Kylo Ren.]
Kylo Ren: Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time.
[since the childhood abandonment? Was the last time he saw his father before Jedi training?]
Han Solo: Take off that mask. You don't need it.
[The second thing Han says to his son is an order. He doesn’t ask if Ben would take off his mask, he simply tells him to. This says a lot about the slave/master mentality that Ben would have likely experienced in childhood that would have naturally led Ben to being a slave to someone else, like Snoke, in adulthood.]
Kylo Ren: What do you think you'll see if I do?
[Asking questions about his father’s expectations and showing curiosity.]
Han Solo: The face of my son.
[Notice the way Han is only talking about his own experience. He is not showing any concern for what might be going on for Ben. “The face of MY son.”]
Kylo Ren: Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him.
Han Solo: That's what Snoke wants you to believe, but it's not true. My son is alive.
[invalidating Ben’s experience.]
Kylo Ren: No. The Supreme Leader is wise.
Han Solo: Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you. You know it's true.
[Making claims, but offering evidence. Almost like he believes Ben should take his word for it simply “Because I said so.”]
Kylo Ren: It's too late.
Han Solo: No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you.
[Giving more orders. “Leave here” and “come home” are demands, not requests. And “we miss you” is Han continuing to care about his own feelings more than Ben’s. Does Ben miss them? How is Ben doing with this whole dark side thing? Is he in pain? Why should Ben care about how his absence has affected Han and Leia? Han doesn’t care, and that is the environment that Ben grew up in. In this relationship, Han’s feelings are the only ones that matter.]
Kylo Ren: I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?
[Here Ben expresses how he is feeling in real time, and then makes a request of Han rather than ordering him to do things, which shows good boundaries, in my opinion.]
Han Solo: Yes. Anything.
[This response shows that Han doesn’t have good boundaries. He’s willing to agree to “anything” without asking any questions or getting any more information.]

 

Then Ben stabs his father; everyone in the theater gasps, and Han falls very dramatically to his death.

 

The fact that Ben kills his father isn’t surprising. Han is a part of the Resistance, and he was there to destroy something Ben has worked hard on. Granted the project Ben is working on is a giant Death Star designed to commit massive genocide, but Han is still there essentially to kill Ben. And Han feels the need to walk up to Ben and be a dick before blowing up the new Death Star thing that is super important to Ben.

 

I sympathize with Ben, and I hate the way the movie presents Han and Leia as innocent victims. They were not victims of a child who was inherently bad. They created the environment, abused Ben, abandoned him, and drove him to the dark side. 

[WasatchMan]

Yeah, I have been thinking about this movie and parenthood.

 

How are the Jedi, who are supposed to have a supreme understanding and command of reality (in their fictitious setting) end up with a psychopath that literally embodies the concept of evil every other generation?

 

My guess is it stems from a desire to provide cover for bad parents.  Han and Leia are the heros, it can't be their fault that their kid turned out evil, therefore no parents are responsible for how their kids turn out.

[shirgall]

The call to power is very strong.

 

I suspect some of the intervening story needs to be told. The Republic was not instantly reinstated when the Emperor was killed. Perhaps live with Han and Leia wasn't great, with her being a General and all, and him being a smuggler and probably very useful for moving things messages, people, and supplies around in secret. Probably pretty absent from any child's life. Abandonment with crazy Uncle Luke probably wasn't hot either, as you point out.

 

Before the movie came out people were speculating that Luke had gone to the dark side.

 

Now that the movie is out, I wonder if it was him that put the stories of Grandfather Anakin's greatness into the Solo babies... Yes, both of them. The only explanation for Rey's facile adoption of mastery is the calling of the Dark Side.

[kathryn]

Now that the movie is out, I wonder if it was him that put the stories of Grandfather Anakin's greatness into the Solo babies... Yes, both of them. The only explanation for Rey's facile adoption of mastery is the calling of the Dark Side.

 

That sounds likely seeing as there was all that sexual tension between Rey and Kylo. If they are not brother and sister, I suspect they find out they are cousins at the very least. Don't even get me started on the creepy unresolved covert incest issues between Luke and Leia... 

[Wuzzums]

His parents plotted out his entire life before he was born. He had no choice in being abandoned by his parents, he had no choice in being raised and forcefully trained by his uncle, and he had no choice in whether or not to become a jedi. Of course he would rebel by going to the dark side, that side of the Force that gives you complete control over your life and the lives of others. His fear of not becoming as strong as his ther is the fear of losing control of his life again. This mirrors Anakin's fall to the dark side, all his life people told him he was the chosen one that will bring balance to the Force.

 

The message is that choosing a different path than what others have planned will only lead to evil. Actually the only other option is evil itself. It's either follow your "destiny" or become a murderer.

[luxfelix]

There was a similar question I had within this movie and the Legend of Korra series: what would happen if they let the teachings of the force fade away with the last jedi/sith? (Or in the Avatar series, no more avatar...?)

[Ray H.]

Could be that young Ben Solo was an impatient student who pushed the bounds of his power with the expectation that he could use them to right wrongs. Of course, leading to power lust and the raping and pillaging of the otherwise pristine galaxy. Pattern recognized. 

 

Could be that young Rey Solo was deprived of the use of her power and potential, not even being told that she possessed such a thing for her entire childhood. Nevertheless, all she requires is to be inserted into critical situations for her abilities to erupt perfectly and innocently.

 

*vomit*

 

I pray to Yoda that this flips around and Rey goes to the Dark Side. Make it 2 for 2, Luke!

 

Ohhh, wait! That would leave us with the two protagonists being Poe and Finn. Insert biracial, homo-erotic plot twists. Those two did become quite fond of one another quite quickly. Poe certainly liked the way Finn looked in his X-wing jacket. 

[Understand]

Interesting. May I ask you, since you seem to be interested and have great understanding on this subject, how is a child affected by going to school and be separated from their parents for a long time at early age?

I just had to ask, because that question has been all over my head lately. I just think that separation is SICK.

[Ray H.]

I was just making a prediction with regard to how the male versus the female prodigy would be depicted. I doubt the writers are aware enough to make any points about compulsory education and parent/child separation.

[PatrickC]

Kathryn very kindly joined us in a Hangout over the weekend with the Philosophy Film Club, where she and others got to expand on their thoughts on the movie. Really enjoyable conversation too. That I thought people here might like to listen to. My initial cynicism of the movie has since been quelled somewhat by the thoughts of those in the show.

 

 

[EuanM]

Now that the movie is out, I wonder if it was him that put the stories of Grandfather Anakin's greatness into the Solo babies... Yes, both of them. The only explanation for Rey's facile adoption of mastery is the calling of the Dark Side.

 

That sounds likely seeing as there was all that sexual tension between Rey and Kylo. If they are not brother and sister, I suspect they find out they are cousins at the very least. Don't even get me started on the creepy unresolved covert incest issues between Luke and Leia... 

 

The later scenario strikes me as highly likely. Episode VII (and probably episodes VIII & IX) borrow very heavily from the novels of the Star Wars expanded universe (EU) in which a son of Han and Leia, Jacen Solo joins the dark side and becomes Darth Caedus. He is eventually defeated by his sister Jaina Solo and cousin Ben (Luke's son). Rey seems to be a composite of Jaina Solo and Ben Skywalker, so I predict with that she turns out to be Luke's daughter. 

[MysterionMuffles]

Great post, I resonate it with it a lot. Do you mind if I copy and paste this for a Facebook status?

I would also add how Kylo is calling his own father by his full name instead of addressing him as father as a huge sign of losing all parental authority with him.