coffeebean81387 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Far too often in life I've seen situations spiral out of control because of misunderstandings between people. One thing I've learned from watching these interactions is how absolutely critical communication is for people to have healthy relationships. Social situations are things that I was never really comfortable with. Being something that I've been working hard to master I considered how difficult it was for me to break out and communicate with people. Having thought about it I didn't want my kids to struggle like I did. I've endeavored to make communication with my kids key. One way I've been making sure I communicate is that I make sure my kids know why I do the things that I do to help them be able to reason through their own situations if need be. I feel it's important that they have the tools to make their own informed decisions. Probably the most important thing I've done is to practice what I preach and involve my kids in the process. My daughter came home from her great aunt's place on my ex wife's side saying that she didn't want to go there anymore and that her aunt was mean to her. This was extremely surprising to me as I know the kids always loved going over there and that they did lots of fun activities. I made my first step talking with my daughter (age 7 for reference) and getting to the heart of the matter from her point of view. After I got her side of the story I asked the aunt to come over for a sit down where we talked out exactly what caused the issue and why my daughter felt the way she did. I took care to involve my daughter in the conversation and took time to understand how she was feeling. The result was that my daughter was not being completely honest with me and I made sure she knew that I am here for her if she needs me but she needs to be honest with me for me to be able to help her. At the end of these talks I always ask my kids to recap what we've learned for me so that I know that they really understand. It is also important that you come to an agreement on how things should be because if they don't agree that something is wrong they will continue to do it. So to this day the kids love going to their aunt's house and they don't have to miss out on moments with family that love them and fun times to be had. Aside from the benefit to the kids I am also glad that we got things worked out. I don't want to force my kids to go somewhere they hate and want them to be able to confide in me. On the other hand being a single parent is tough, I never wanted to be a single parent, I take pride in my role as a dad but this is a two person job. This makes it so important to have a strong and reliable network of friends and family who can help you when you need it. While my ex-wife rarely bothers to see the kids, her family still want to see them and I make sure they get the opportunity to do so. It's good for the kids, it's good for me, and open communication is the tool used to make it happen.
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